The Gift

Her breathing and heart rate slowed immediately as she slid open the barn doors and caught glimpse of the sun shining through the gapped weathered slats. It cast a glow of serenity upon the golden dusty dirt floor. Peace flowed through her, and she could feel the presence of the animals, although it had been years since any were physically here.

This place had always been her place of peace, and she finally felt like she was home again.

Her mother had brought her out here every summer to stay from the age of 8 until about 16. Her first memory of the barn flooded her mind as she remembered the sparkle in her mother’s eyes and the excited chatter about the animals, the county fair, and her favorite prized pig. Holly had immediately fallen in love with it. All of it. The strange aromas, the noisy pigs, the hay, and the horses were all from a different world, and one that she begged to stay in.

Summer farm life was so different from the noisy and gray city life. Here,she awoke early every morning to streams of sunlight falling across her yellow flowered comforter. She eagerly greeted each day and the joy the animals brought to her. She started packing in April every year, and her mother would say “A little early aren’t you” but smiled ear to ear remembering her own life on the farm and missing it as much.

All of that ended in fall of 1975 when her great-uncle passed away and the farm had to be sold. She vividly remembered the phone call that grey October morning. Her mother had cried harder than she ever saw her cry, and when she realized that it meant no more summer farm life, so did she. She loved her uncle, of course, but losing the farm was unbearable. Her Poppa and Granny, who lived close by the farm wanted to buy it, but they just couldn’t come up with the money.

Everything changed then. Everything.

Finally returning now at the age of 62, she remembered why. Summers had quickly turned from glistening fields of flowers and loving animals to neon streets that flowed with alcohol, drugs, and angry men. The 70’s and 80’s were spent with the wrong people and at the wrong places. Wrong choices had led her down a path of destruction for so many years. Her grandparents passed one winter while she was in her 20’s, and she had not even bothered to make it out to either funeral.

It wasn’t until the early 90’s that she finally pulled herself together, and only because she had found out she was pregnant. She did the best she could with Lily, her daughter, but struggled to make ends meet and suffered with anxiety and fear in that cramped apartment. She had worked hard to give Lily a good life, but the city was getting more and more run down, and she couldn’t keep her away from the wrong people and the wrong places.

“Grammy Holly” she heard that sweet voice behind her. She turned to look at her beautiful granddaughter making her way across the field. Her blonde hair billowed behind her like golden silk, and she looked just like a small Angel surrounded by the colors of the farm. “This place is amazing!” she said as she entered the barn. “Are we really getting animals?!” she asked excitedly.

“Yes, we really are.” Holly replied smiling.

A feeling of sadness quickly passed through her chest as she thought of her mother. Momma loved it here so much, she thought remembering those sparkling eyes from her first visit here. I wish we could have done this long ago. It was only due to her mother’s passing, however, that she could have ever made the purchase. The feeling passed as a gentle breeze rustled the leaves outside the barn, and she felt her momma smiling down on her.

This is what she would want me to do, she thought to herself as she took Violet’s hand and began showing her around the barn reminiscing excitedly about her summers.

It was fate for sure, she thought to herself later that evening. Sitting on the front porch, as a warm wind brushed across her cheek, she remembered the day at the bank. She had made the life insurance deposit when on her way out, a real estate magazine in the lobby had caught her eye. The barn? She had thought, our barn? Her heart raced as she picked up the magazine to read the description and look at the pictures closely. She instantly felt at peace and thought to herself I’m going home!

The sellers settled quickly since the farm had not operated in so many years. Everything fell into place as she packed and left the grey city behind. She prayed her daughter Lily would be able to join them at some point, but she knew that this is where she and Violet belonged. She glanced at the U-Haul, still unpacked and sitting in the overgrown driveway. It was hard to believe that her entire life in the city fit in that box.

The screen door slammed as her granddaughter bounded through it. “Grammy there’s a bunny rabbit in the yard!” she screeched with enthusiasm. Holly smiled and leaned back in her chair. She felt her mother and her grandmother with her as they all watched Violet chase the little rabbit around the yard.

She looked out once more at the barn to see the sun setting just behind the roof line, coloring the sky behind it with shades of orange and pink, as if wrapping the gift in a bright package. She would cherish it forever.