Humor
Bobs Dream
I’m Bob. I hated working here, hidden away in my little cubicle. I put my head on my desk for just a minute and I was already asleep. In my dream, they promoted me to manager, then CEO. I walked into the office and fired my old supervisor and laughed as he left. Then I made the whole week casual Friday and let everyone wear whatever they wanted. My workplace crush asked me out. My supervisor came and woke me up. “Time to work,” he said. I wish I really could fire him. At least I can retire one day.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
I Got Grounded
I came home late and my mom grounded me. “It’s not my fault Maisons mom let me play video games late” I explained. “I told you to remind her to bring you home,” mom said. I went to my room and cried. I tried sneaking out, mom caught me. I’ll be ok, I thought, and played the Switch under my bed. Mom took that too. Now I’m bored. I’ll just dream of playing games. Mom can’t steal my dreams. I fell asleep. Darn it, mom was there too, stealing my games in my dreams. I’ll just throw a tantrum!
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
In Due Rescue
It would be a terrible cliché to say Princess Filomena couldn’t believe her eyes. But, to be honest, if she had imagined a knight rescuing her today, it would have been someone like Sir Galahad or Sir Lancelot—strong, noble, and shiny—riding up on a blinding white charger that had more frills and pennants than a tournament.
By Alison McBain3 years ago in Fiction
Sarah
Once upon a time, there was a mother named Sarah who was known for her terrible driving skills. She was a sweet lady, but she couldn't seem to stay in her lane or obey traffic rules to save her life. How she was given a license was a puzzle for everyone in her life. Her children would often beg their dad to drive instead of their mother, but Sarah refused to give up the wheel. Her Husband offered to hire a chaffeur for the kids but Sarah refused.
By Shakira Scantlebury3 years ago in Fiction
Meeting the In-Laws
"Honey, you're late." "Mix-up at the massage parlour." Meeting the in-laws. Kill me. I stumbled home in a daze through Little Russia, and only remembered my promise to buy wine at the last minute: a bottle from Georgia with STALIN on the label.
By Conor Darrall3 years ago in Fiction
War Declares Victory
In a stunning announcement sure to have significant ramifications for the entire world, War today declared victory in its long running conflict with Peace. In dedclaring victory War said the following "At long last, today we have defeated our eternal enemy, peace, once and for all. Humankind is finally free to destroy itself with impunity, killing every last man, woman, and child without worry or fear of some dope smoking hippie ruining their fun by going on and on about giving peace a chance or some dumb crap like that. Stupid hippies."
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Fiction
Any Port
He chose Velumptuous Veronica, and put her on the counter. The fat, bald, bearded cashier didn’t even look up from his smut magazine as he rang up the order, and gave back the six bucks change from twenty. Once home alone, after a crowded bus ride, he took the box out from the little black plastic bag, admiring his purchase. It took him twenty two minutes to inflate. It would have taken longer but one of her arms was sealed shut. He put her gimpy arm around his neck and wondered if she would have looked sexier with hair.
By John Patnode3 years ago in Fiction
