Invisible Strings
For the shape of the thing challenge. In this I experimented with pacing, sub plots, complex dialogue and hidden motives

The bell rang as the city made way for a teeming night. Dark and pale clouds blended until they were quiescent. Within this hour, people closed in next to each other, as their phones lit up to something that was afloat on the rippled river.
This body of water held the golden glow of the street lights on its surface, each face coming into view then waning into the shaded black. They all turned to a familiar face and spoke along the wind. The seagulls flew by in silence, as the music fought for centre stage. The wind's temper laid low, but gently brushed their bare arms.
It was the moon that was above water. Its dark blemishes were visible as if it were shaded, yet it was the sound through the speakers that moved the people. Art like this only ever came once in a while in the city.
Many were persuaded by the scourge cult. Against their better judgement, they were bitten but not with teeth, they lived as the disease grew inside them, even the name did not discourage them. We must control their minds, we will be the thing they think about at night, and all will be ours.
*
When Wayne was a young apprentice and lived in the countryside. He set out to help his dad build a community bridge across a creek, it was a time to bond, a time to make memories. The bridge had been up for a couple weeks, but disaster had its target. Unchecked support beams. It waited for the weight of a little girl to trigger its weakness. The beam wasn’t sturdy in its place, and injury took hold of her limbs after she fell.
That was before his adopted brother ran away and his dad directed his love towards his reputation instead.
*
The music subdued the demons in Wayne’s brain, it was a variation of calm bird sounds with a touch of something else. In his hand was a miniature bridge he had made following the incident. One of the support beams seemed as though it had gone missing. Though this was only a trick of the mind.
Before he could bring it closer towards his face, it flew out of his hand, and onto the ground next to his feet.
He yelled at the stranger.
Her eyes searched, darting behind her eyelids, but when he didn’t move or yell at her again, she slowly walked backwards and turned away. Behind her back was the maze of shame, guilt and embarrassment over his face. He didn’t mean to, but if he could just find that beam it would all be perfect again. He would be kinder. He could get to know the girl with the blue eyes.
The abc embroidered on the back of her garment looked somehow familiar to him, as he remembered, he clutched the necklace on his neck. He knew that loss meant the sentimental things turned up in different ways. The abc reminded him of when his brother would paint letters all over the wall. He didn’t know what they meant, they never seem to have meaning or spelling. But he knew in the puzzle, the world cult was spelt out. It might’ve been a mistake. He was running out of space.
***
‘It was a simple mistake and he just went bonkers, it reminded me of what led to Julian and I breaking up’
‘Did he look like him?’
‘No, but the same vibe. He was handsome too… ‘
‘That’s great, but we never did find out what Julian meant about the abcs… I know you showed me the text three months ago, but I think we should go back to it. I just have a weird feeling.
‘I shouldn’t go after his older brother, he said, I don’t even know what he looks like. He said his name starts with a letter, close to what he is to me now…It’s so stupid and cryptic for no reason. ‘
‘Well, if he’s your Ex, then he probably meant the letter X. Which means that his brother's name begins with either X or W.’
‘How did you?’
‘It’s not that hard‘
Hazel went into a haunting silence, but it was swallowed up when iris spoke again.
‘I’m sorry. Maybe we should focus on the new guy’
‘Hmm?’
‘He seems harmless’
‘It's my own fault, I should be feeling guilty, the whole thing seems like it will never be solved… I mean, he ran away straight after I broke up with him…’
Hazel went quiet again
‘I know what will cheer you up.’ After she said this, she hung up the phone.

***
The night still lingered. They went towards the shops and bus stops, away from the harbour and the moon.
Wayne leaned against the wall with his arms folded. Another man stood in front of him. Hair sticking up in a messy pile, the wind tried its best to lay it flat, but it stood still like a field of corn.
Iris and Hazel hurried towards them, afraid that their nerves were going to send them back from where they came. They needed a distraction, much more than they cared about embarrassing themselves.
‘Only ……before you….. run into...’ The chatter and the wind around them ate the missing words as it sauntered towards them.
As they approached, the conversation between Wayne and messy hair stopped.
’Do we know these ladies?’
‘Only one .’ Wayne looked at Hazel. He moved from his position as if jolted to action, his arms now back at his side.
Iris struggled to match the vibe of the pair. Folding her arms and awkwardly placing them back at her side shortly after Wayne. He noticed her looking at his necklace. His hand reached up to put it under the neckline of his shirt.
‘I hope we aren’t interrupting anything’ Said iris with uncertainty in her voice.
‘Want to take us out do you?’ messy hair, teased.
‘You wish.’ Hazel butted in.
She turned to Wayne, feeling less confident than before and she sighed, but underneath she hungered for something.
‘This was a mistake.’
Hazel turned to leave, but Wayne did not allow it, even though he did not know why.
‘You don't do hard stuff, do you?’
She turned towards him.
‘Only if it’s worth it. Are you worth it?’
‘Nope.’
Hazel wondered if he would be the same way, if he was alone.
‘Then, maybe I don’t think you’re handsome.’
‘Are you saying I am?’
‘No.’
Messy hair chuckled.
They both allowed the silence to sit between them for a while. Messy hair and iris now feeling out of place.

At that moment, a chaotic chorus of squawks from a group of seagulls came from around the corner. Followed by a line of police cars with flashing lights and blaring sirens. Hazel became distracted by her thoughts, and as she was standing on the edge of the sidewalk, she mindlessly took one step down.
He knows where Julian is. A thought came over her. It dissolved and went away as a shout came from messy hair.
‘Lady!’
Messy hair shouted. But Wayne was the one who pulled her from the bike lane.
He removed his hands and she studied his deep set eyes. His dark eyebrows framed them, and they were bushy, but just enough.
He had salt and pepper hair and wrinkles in all the right places. Hazel wondered If there was a time he smiled a lot. His handsome features made it hard to think just how not to repeat the past again.
‘Thanks…’ Hazel mumbled.
‘What is your name?’
‘Hazel,’
‘Other than entitled with blue eyes, what else do you bring to the table?’
Hazel's heart started to race. But she ignored him, just incase it was a joke.
‘I guess I deserved that...’
Her walls came down. She did not know how or why. But she thought back to that brief moment of when she almost got knocked down and he saved her.
Wayne studied her but grew uncomfortable that his walls were coming down just the same.
‘There’s no easy way to say any of this and I know I am already screwing this up, but.. I am sure you’re a great girl. I just have a lot going on. ’
‘Sure…’
‘I don’t want to make promises I will break…’
‘I wish I kept fighting…’
Curiosity flashed in his dark eyes.
A/N : This was the story I mentioned in my most recent top story. This was soooooo hard to write, I was thinking of throwing in the towel. It also plunged me into writers block and I managed to finish it finally. Luckily in time for the challenge. Am I the only one who can’t embed a link?
About the Creator
Caitlin Charlton
poetry too close to home
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Comments (10)
Woaw You go so much deep when You write I can understand writing a challenges and how does it really feels I also feel so discomforting or heavy with so many of them and then I ask myself why did i do this to myself if it feels heavy if i literally suffer physically mentally after writing expressing and then when days goes i heal i clean i dont even remember the things or can easily digest it it still seems like you written it with such an easy way as a great writer ! Continue when you feel comfortable doing it :) Thank You for sharing :) !
I think you did a fantastic job with the challenge. The pacing, layered subplots, and complex dialogue really shine here.
Caitlyn, I love how use the bridge metaphorically as a way of Wayne rebuilding something that was broken. I think so many of us, in our lives, have gone through that. A broken relationship, a mistake made on the job, a miscommunication, and so forth. The machine or the weak support beam I felt to be pivotal to the story. As if there are emotional or maybe psychological gaps. Things that maybe you feel or missing that may just be slightly out of reach. I got a feeling of loss and yearning throughout the story. And there seemed to be some puzzling aspects such as the part about the name starting with an X or a W. I found that very interesting. There seems to be a lot of emotional walls and maybe discomfort here. But what I did find comforting was the eventual beginning of letting the walls come down between Wayne and Hazel. There was a lot going on in the story so it’s really hard for me to zero in on any one factor but definitely this is beautifully written and there were just so many various levels and layers to the story. I really enjoyed it. It was almost like looking at a masterpiece hanging on the walls of a museum. It was like a reflection of moods and yearning so deep yet within reach. Beautiful work!
Ach, this was so clever and I, like everyone else, am proud you saw it through to the end. Sometimes stories get under our skin, and as hard as they are to complete, we need to do it, and you did this wonderfully. I loved how the clues were revealed and loved how everything interplayed so well. It felt like we were privy to parts of the story and backstory that we wouldn't normally get if you had written it more as a straightforward narrative. So well done for taking such a unique approach. That is fearless writing. Take a brave step and see it through. Sometimes they don't come together, and that's fine, but this did marvellously. So well done again for being brave, experimenting, as it made it more kinetic to read, kept my brain working throughout, and each part actually linked smoothly together. I read it yesterday but forgot to come back and comment, so apologies for that. Well done well done well done.
Have to agree a hundred percent about the imagery, Caitlin. It keeps readers hooked. And kudos for leading us to solve the mystery of what his name starts with! And finishing what is a labour of love.
Hi Caitlin, good for you for sticking it out and finishing! You did it! You have such a gift for creating wonderful imagery that captivates the reader. I found myself zig-zagging between the words I was reading, what had just happened, and what was to come next. Great job, hope you do well in the challenge. No, I have had problems trying to embed links. Vocal has been very unstable lately.
Oh wow, the way she figured out what letter his name starts with based on that cryptic hint was so brilliant! I can see that you put a lot of effort into this story. Kudos to you for not giving up! Your story is so awesomeeee! Also, I don't think you're the only one who can't embed links because I've seen others mention it too.
This was an enjoyable read, Caitlin. I’m glad you didn’t throw in the towel!
💖😊
Good job, I was enthralled to the end.