Her

I woke in the dust, coughing and sneezing. I was covered in ash so thick it burrowed down in my skin, deep in my pores. And what does it matter? The ash always comes down like a light snow. But sadly this snow is not wet or cooling. Too bad.

I check myself for injury. Nothing more than the bald patches and scratches from them. My loss of hair is from the rain, when it comes. And those scratches. Deep rakes are from them. They are the ones who should be loyal. But they have lost their way. I tried to be part of their group but I can not do those things. I was attacked by them because I quietly crept close to our prey and subtly but with intensity, warned it to run. I can eat bugs, and vermin but I will not eat children. Not any kids. No pups, no kittens and no people. They attacked me. Maybe they decided I would be the meal. But I out ran them. I am not sure how. Maybe just the thought of finding her pushed me harder and faster than them.

I have been fallowing the scent of her for days now. Old smells. But this place does seem familiar. There are some buildings still up right. It is like a junkyard. Some things are identifiable. There is part of a car. Just the rear end I think. And there, a fallen tree. All of it blanketed in that ashy dust. I have often just lay down where I am and sleep. Usually short rest but once in a while I need the heavy sleep that brings twitching dreams.

My head is a little foggy this morning but it always is after a long needed sleep. I sniff the air. It is acrid and scorched. The smell of a long ago fire and the garbage smell of deep destruction. This is my world now. I only get glimpses of before when there was green everywhere and blue in the sky. The days when we took walks in the park or went camping on the mountain. These images are only lost memories now. They come to me only when I catch a whiff of her on the wind.

Wait is it her? I inhale deeply. Yes she was here. That scent helps me perk up. No more laying and panting in the ash. I know her smell anywhere. And then, and then it’s gone. I feel this world of nothing again. Always silence. Where are the birds? I miss their songs and tweets. The only usual sound is the wind carrying the ash. These old memories make me want to lay down and sleep more. But there it is again. Just a hint of her. She was here. I’m sure of it now. I have to find her. I jump up and listen for any sound. There is only silence. I want to hear something. Anything. A car. A person. Even an animal. “ANYTHING!” I growl. But there is not even a cricket.

I am so tired of being alone. It seems like forever since I left them. And even longer since I lost her. I remember that day. We were driving down the mountain, heading home from a camping trip. And then that deep sudden noise. It was like nothing I have ever heard or felt. I thought that my ears would burst. Then came a flash in the sky. The windows in the car blew out and I panicked. I jumped from the vehicle. I fell and fell and fell. And then nothing no sound. All dark. Damn it why did I jump! But I cannot dwell on that anymore. What I must do is find her.

I move gingerly at first. My feet are sore from walking on things under the ash. Unseen things. Painful things. But anything to find her. She is my home.

I try to smell. “Damn the ash.” I sniff and once again I catch her smell. But how old is this smell? I move in the direction of that comforting scent. Just a trot at first. Careful where I step. And then I catch another whiff and another. I am sure of her now. She is close. I stop and listen. Ears perked. But nothing. I bark my loudest, “where are you!”

I sniff. I run. I check the wind. I run and run following those subtle aromas. I don’t care what is under my feet. The rocks, The debris, the sharp things, it doesn’t matter. I must get to her.

I smell her before I see the lump covered in ash. Is she alive? My heart feels heavy. What would I do if she is dead? I cut that thought from my mind. I approach slowly timidly. I see she is on her side. Finally I hear her breath before I see her chest rise. She is alive! My excitement, my relief, my love comes uncontrollably out of my throat in long soft whimpers.

I lay next to her and I nuzzle her neck. She breathes deeply. And for a moment my heart seizes. What if she can’t wake up? I brush at the ash on her face. I lick her cheeks. She blinks and wipes the grime from her eyes. She reaches her hand up and touches the heart locket on my collar. She sits herself up. When she wraps her arms around me and strokes my dirty Black and Tan coat, my heart fills with memories and smells and love of home. Her voice is hoarse but she whispers in my ear “Tayo, You found me.”