Obviously, she’s got something to say. She always has. I was kidding myself, thinking today would be different. It’s just… It’s just I thought I could slip away. Vanish before she noticed. No chance of that now.
“You’ll never leave, Edie,” she sneers. “You know you won’t.”
I fling my suitcase to the floor, fists bunched at my side, scowling into her bruised blue eyes.
“What,” she snickers, shooing me away. “We both know it’s true.”
Her spiteful laughter fills the hallway, swirling round me, ringing in my ears. I slump against the wall, gasping for air, recoiling as the cold bites into my skin.
“It’s different,” I mumble. “This time it’s different. I told you. I’m leaving and never…”
“That’s what you always say,” she interrupts. “But you never do. You crawl back, give him one last chance. And then another. It’s pathetic. You’re pathetic. Even I don’t recognize you anymore.”
I shuffle from foot to foot, head bowed, brushing away the treacherous tears pooling in the corners of my eyes. Her words ooze over me like lava. Blistering, scalding. I press a hand to my cheek, the warmth stinging my fingers.
“To think what you used to be like,” she sighs. “Such a laugh. Confident. But look at you now. Skulking in the shadows. Terrified of stepping out of line. Your unhappiness makes you small. Invisible. Keep it up and you’ll disappear altogether.”
“I won’t,” I whisper, dabbing a scrunched-up tissue to my face. “Why are you being so cruel? I thought you were on my side.”
She scoffs and turns away, shaking her head. So much for having my back. She must know she’s being unfair. Just because I keep quiet, keep the peace, it doesn’t mean anything. She’s got to know how hard it’s been, how much it’s taken out of me pretending everything’s fine. That we’re fine. I bet everyone still believes we’re the perfect couple.
“Don’t,” she snaps, catching me staring at the photos on the wall, tracing my finger round my husband’s smiling face. “Don’t you dare pretend you were happy. Remember what he said to you right before.”
I snatch my hand away, twisting my wedding band round and round. I do remember. All too well. Squeezing my eyes closed, I can almost hear him telling me how lucky I was to have him. That nobody else would ever love me. Put up with me. That I’m damaged goods.
I startle when she coughs, watch her running her hand through her dirty blonde hair: “You’re still here then. Thought you were leaving,” she pauses, chewing her lip. “You’ve still got time, you know. To run upstairs and slide the case under the bed. He’ll never know.”
I don’t move, a band of pain flaring in my chest. When did it become this hard to breathe?
“And then maybe you can be a good little wife and get dinner ready. Try and cook something he likes. Good luck with that. Jesus Christ, Edie. What a life. Do you honestly believe this is what you deserve.”
Fury fizzes round my body, the blood drumming in my ears. I snatch my jacket hanging over the banister and grab the suitcase, cursing when it clatters against the radiator.
“Edie, if you don’t love yourself, respect yourself, then how can you expect anyone else to.”
Enough. That’s enough.
She flinches when I hurl myself at her, arms raised. Her dark blue eyes, so like my own, spark with anger.
“I told you I was leaving, and I meant it,” I hiss into the mirror. “And don’t you ever speak to me like that again.”
My reflection smiles: “That’s more like it. I knew you were in there somewhere. It’s good to see you back.”
About the Creator
Caroline Craven
Scribbler. Dreamer. World class procrastinator.
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Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
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Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Excellent storytelling
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Comments (21)
That was amazing! You are so good at making the reader feel emotion. I think a lot of us know the feeling of going back to something we shouldn’t. My favorite line: “ Fury fizzes round my body, the blood drumming in my ears.” That is some excellent prose!
Oh, fantastic!! My heart was in such turmoil for this character! The back and forth with the mirror was so well done too! I was so curious about the other character’s identity and why she was there, what a clever and satisfying twist! You should definitely enter this in the You We’re Never Really Here Challenge if you haven’t already!
this is very interesting!! strong book straight from the beginning :) great work
This was such an intense story. Reading this my muscles were tensing. My jaw was clenching. So well done Caroline. You are so good!
This resembles a battered syndrome. Talking into the mirror, trying to make sense, pleading and crying. This is very realistic. Wow! Powerful writing.
The whole while, I was getting angry with the friend?/sister?, and then. This is incredible storytelling. I was so emotionally involved with the character(s). Excellent work, my friend.
Very nice. Kept me wondering how that would end and whom she was talking with.
Love this. We can be our own worst critics but sometimes that’s the point and the need— if self critique helps us make moves for the better. Very creative story, you definitely did a good job of painting a believable picture of inner turmoil and the frantic sort of action that comes from reaching rock bottom. The symbolism of her with the mirror was powerful, and a clever way to flesh out her feelings without the long winded ness of a traditional inner monologue. Great writing!
On reflection, that completely flipped my perspective... Mirror-arvellous storytelling 🙏😁 (Sorry!)
You really messed with my head on this one!
Oh Caroline, this is brilliantly realistic!✅ I guessed near the conclusion that her sister was goading her to action. It reminds me of Red Jumpsuit Apparatus’ powerful song “Face Down”.
This is so raw and powerful. The way you capture the internal battle and that final moment of self-realization is incredibly moving. Amazing writing 😊
Here I was wondering why the other character didn't have a name to her, yet I still didn't see the twist coming (and all the clues were there, too!). I hope Edie can get out of that abusive relationship. Really well written, Caroline. Had me from the start and left me satisfied at the end. Felt scarily real.
Oh wow, I didn't expect it to be her own reflection. It did seem sus as to what this woman was doing in Edie and her husband’s house. Like did Edie invite her over to tell that she's leaving. So yea, that revelation blew my mind. I'm so happy Edie is finally leaving. Loved your story!
Nice!!! That was quite the suspenseful, edgy ride. I was almost there at guessing who she was interacting with. I stopped at imaginary friend before it was revealed! Nice one, Caroline!
The self talk can be nearly as destructive as all the rest of it 😬 Brilliantly captured. I smell another TS 😊
Cc—What a marvelous ‘Original-Suspense Building’ storyteller you are among so many that are not of late..! - My Respect - j.in.l.a.
A story with backbone <3
I kept thinking "Who is it?" Nicely done, my friend.
What a great way to set the stage for the big reveal. I liked how your character worked through stages to find her courage.
Oh wow, I was breaking my head over who it was while reading - a sister? a best friend? a secret lover? What a mind-blowing twist, Caroline!