Capuccino, Two Sugars
5th September, Story #250/366
I treated him like any customer. Smiling, because good customer service.
He stared at me constantly, staying longer than one cappucino required. Next day, he did the same.
I told my boss.
"So? He's just looking. Not hurting you is it?"
Creep learned my shifts, and stopped coming on my days off. I'd swing it so Mel or Joe served him. He sat and stared anyway.
One day, I couldn't avoid serving him. His eyes lit up.
When it was ready, I got Mel to call his name. He scowled, sloped out, and stood at the window with his cardboard cup. Staring.
If I "gave" him something (acted friendly, or brushed fingers when I handed him his cup) he'd smile, and leave more quickly. If I avoided him, he'd stay for my whole shift with a face like thunder. Even following me when I left.
I spotted him outside college. I've no clue how he knew I went there. It felt like he was always watching. What if he finds out where I live? Maybe he already knows...
One day, I was alone in the cafe. Terrified. Creep overloaded me with anxiety, so even this was enough to send me into an anxious spin.
He came in. I started crying. He watched, surely knowing he was the reason.
"Hey," my customer looked concerned. "What's up?"
"That guy, over there, in the grey jacket..." I tried to explain, shaking violently.
Looking thoughtful, he re-joined his four friends. They talked together. Some left. The others sat and stared at Creep, just as intently as he stared at me. Creep finished his coffee and left in record time. My ally left too, then the others.
I felt light. I went home without being followed. I breathed.
Next day, Creep didn't show up. When my shifted ended, I took the bins out, and- is that blood?
I pictured him, battered, bloody, in a hospital bed. I wondered if his body was in the skip. I threw the rubbish bags in and walked away.
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Word count: 366
(NB. This excludes the title, subtitle, and authors note.)
Submitted on Friday 6th September at 23:57
(Edited to add author's note.)
Author's Note
A Year of Stories: I'm writing (and submitting, here) a story every day this year. This one means I have hit the big TWO FIVE OH! 250 daily microfiction stories since 1st January.
Please consider lending your support to the other creators on this madcap "a story every day" adventure. They're putting out excellent content every day!
Rachel Deeming
Gerard DiLeo
The story behind the story: This one took AGES! Hours. And then almost as long to prune it down from nearly 900 words to 366. It was a tough gig. I feel like this one suffers for it, to be honest. I layered lots of little creepy incidents to give a sense of how frightened she is, and how violating the experience, and I think a lot of that has been lost. I should have kept a longer draft for comparison.
Thank you
Especially if you are one of the wonderful people who has been staunchly reading these daily scribbles since the start of the year. I see you, and appreciate you very much indeed!
If you enjoyed this one, the very best compliment you can give me is to share it, or read another!
Here is a recent Top Story of mine:
My new Dollar Challenge! Please give it a look:
A recent Runner Up placement for one of my Wanky Poems:
And now for something completely different:
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Thank you again!
About the Creator
L.C. Schäfer
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Summer Leaves (grab it while it's gorgeous)
Never so naked as I am on a page
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I'm not a writer! I've just had too much coffee!
Sometimes writes under S.E.Holz
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content


Comments (14)
So well written, L.C.!! My anxiety rose with every encounter of the creep!!
This could technically fit in the act of kindness challenge.... 😅 Loved this story though!!
I like how you've captured a woman's perspective here for ALL to see. Still angers me when people don't get alarm bells when there are "warning signs" and "red flags" up to yin-yang that are seen as "harmless" or conventionally "non-threatening." I'm sensitive to ish. I daresay most women are.
I would cry too if I had a stalker like him!
A violent twist fir a creepy person. The question is will it make him worse if he recovers Awesome suspense
I don’t know - I felt like this guy was creepy enough for me. I used to work in a wine store when I was a student and there were one or two people who would freak me out. I think you did a great job. Nice one L.C.
Well done....the creepy part and her anxiety came through like a champion. It's always difficult to whittle words down to a specific number, and it does feel as though it has a negative impact on the story. That being said, without seeing the longer version, I feel your story is dynamic although like some others in the comments section, I had a hope the guy wasn't really bad - that there was a reason for his behavior. Not precisely sure what that reason could be, however....
I was expecting a twist at the end, but not that one. Really well done. I could feel the tension.
Incredible!!! That ending was gold!
Till the very last moment I was hoping the guy was not a creep but just a shy man who didn’t know how to approach the woman. Until I read your note and thought I’d be thrilled to read the longer draft to see how you build this up. I was impressed, LC!
The funny thing is we can’t compare it to the longer draft. And if we like it a lot, which I do, we don’t think to ourselves ‘I wish this was longer.’ We think this is amazing and then babble inanely in our replies.
Wow, this went dark...but I think it had to, didn't it?
I hated this because I had a similar creeper. But you definitely did the experience justice. Shaking uncontrollably is totally spot on. I can almost send myself back there and feel it all over again. Great terrifying little piece here. 😱
Maybe he was just a shy guy? Nawa.