See him tilt his head when he ducks under a branch, how his dark hair flops forward into his blue eyes. Have you spotted the diamond sharp cheekbones, yet? You have now.
"Ma?" he calls, "Ma!"
It's hard to tell, because his smooth complexion is unwrinkled by concern, but he's getting quite worried. Not because night is falling, and the horse spooked and ran off. Not because he's had to duck another date with Claudette this week, and she's shown no signs of letting up. But because his mother was expected back today and never showed.
He's never been this deep in the forest, so he's never seen this dilapidated castle. It's black and gloomy-looking, heavy on gargoyles. What are those things that look like black, grassy curtains at night? The kind a hero can duck under, his chiselled jaw tilted just so? There's some of those as well. And vines. Put some vines in.
His steps are purposeful, fearless. It looks like there's nobody home. But it's worth knocking, just in case. Maybe Ma sought shelter there. Maybe I could, just for the night. It's really getting quite dark.
He pulls his cloak closer (because he's chilly you understand, not because he's nervous) and raises his fist. The door creaks open before it. He peeks in. The corridor beyond is richly furnished and carpeted, but poorly lit. He picks up a flickering candlestick and holds it aloft with confidence.
"Hello? Who's there?"
It's as if someone is scurrying ahead of him, arranging things just so. By the time he reaches the comfortable chair, the fire is lit, with a footstool arranged. A small trolley is parked close by, laden with a full tea service, and pot of hot, fresh tea.
How wonderful, he thinks, pouring himself a steaming cup and warming his hands on it.
The air in the room changes, and the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. He freezes, cup halfway to his pouting lips.
The scrape of a claw. A low snarl, right on the edge of hearing. From the shadows, a woman's throaty voice drips into the room.
"Who are you, and what are you doing in my castle?"
++++++++++++
Word count (excluding note): 366
Submitted on 29th March at 23.05
*Quick Author's Note*
First, and most importantly: thank you for reading!
If you enjoyed this story, the best compliment you can give me is to share it, or read another.
A Year of Stories: I'm writing a story every day this year. This one makes an 89 day streak. I'm also putting them in my Index post.
Thank you
Thank you again! I do my best to reciprocate all reads. Leaving a comment makes that easier 😁
About the Creator
L.C. Schäfer
Book babies on Kindle Unlimited:
Summer Leaves (grab it while it's gorgeous)
Never so naked as I am on a page
Subscribe for n00dz
I'm not a writer! I've just had too much coffee!
Sometimes writes under S.E.Holz


Comments (10)
Wonderful thinking. Creative management!
This was an excellent read! I read the title and saw the picture of the rose, but it only skimmed my mind. I instantly thought fairy-tale, but it actually took me quite a while to realise "ah it's a switch", as the Ma for Pa threw me off. Should have got it quicker than that haha. I really liked the narrator cutting in mid-description with their own thoughts, and think this is actually a great idea for a longer story!
That was creepy, and very well done.
Handsome & the beast. I like it!
Nice twist on a tale as old as time!
This has the feel of a fairy tale revisited. And not the happily ever after kind. More the Baba Yaga of Slavic folk tales kind.
Well done!
You’re so talented at world building and making the reader just want to find out what happens next! Great stuff L.C.
So eerie! Loved how masterfully you put it into words.
Whose castle? Pretty creepy. Well done.