222 Numerology

THE FOLLOWING WAS EXTRACTED VIA THE SCIENCE OF NUMEROLOGY.

METHODOLOGY: What follows was extracted by sequencing together every 5th letter from the book of Genesis, and moving 2 letters back, listing the numerical placement of said letters in the alphabet, multiplying by the numerical placement of the next vowel, then picking the letter coming the closest in whole numbers to the square root of the alphabetical numerical placement of the answer. The punctuation could only be guessed at. And there may be some tense disagreement, which is still being studied.

And so it came to pass that the Lord spoke thusly to the Chosen One:

"Put on a dinosaur suit of purple, and espouse good virtues to all who listen. Lo! your faithful will be children, for adults will want to kill you. Or worse. Thou shalt be called, Barney."

"Let there be purple!" the Lord declared.

And it was good.

And the purple chosen one appeared on the cathode ray tubes throughout TV land, and preached to the children goodness, and love, and sincerity, and friendship, and right from wrong. And, of course, sharing. And cooperation. And the children listened. And Barney grew very strong in his followers. And he went into a prime time morning slot, and his ratings were high.

And this was very good.

And he was placed on ice for capades and iceskating choreography. And spin-offs arose — BJ and Baby Bop. And he appeared to many.

And he began appearing at supermarket openings and mall celebrations. And local clowns donned his suit of purple for birthday celebrations, without paying royalties. And he was everwhere, both licensed and unlicensed.

Until roving bands of hostile and acneiform teen-age youths roughed him up. And black and blue joined his his purple on his variegated skin.

And on the third hospital day, he arose from the near-dead. And he walked up the steps to a CEO of a major production company, who washed his hands of him, decrying pejorative demographics and citing ratings and share, but not the type of sharing the purple one (not Prince) espoused.

4. And Barney was no more.

But his message lived on in syndication. And it was good.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Friday, August 9, Day 222 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

366 WORDS (without A/N)

Accompaniment photos were AI-generated but the pathos was not.

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THIS CHALLENGE GRINDS ON, 366 WORDS AT A TIME...

There are currently three surviving prolific, pathetic, and copacetic Vocal writers still participating in the insane, inane, pre-Cambrian 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. Schäfer, challenge originator

• Rachel Deeming (challenge participant)

• Gerard DiLeo (triceratops)

Read them. Support them. Color them purple!