how to lose guilt

Ever since I was a kid I struggled with looks and fitness. I always had a sweet tooth and tended to eat my feelings like a lot of sensitive females do. More often than not, I would feel so much guilt over what I ate that it would start to take away from all the wonderful aspects of life around me like interactions with family, friends or classmates and even entertainment or outdoor activities. Whenever I would sit to have a snack or meal I would prepare myself for the guilt and make attempts to soothe it by thinking it wasn't much of a shame to be a somewhat plus sized person and that my aesthetic preferences were a bit unrealistic anyways.

I started to allow this kind of mentality to sneak into other matters in life such as romance. I would take a back seat so to speak and would not expect the kind of treatment I would be jealous to see someone else receive. I would think that whatever kind of interaction I encountered was fine as long as I felt like someone saw me. I did not measure my self worth in a respectable fashion, I lived off scraps emotionally.

I used to eat a lot of rice at least once a day for most days while I lived with my parents. I did not think too much into it since I was stuck in a certain mindset where I would think a fit physic is meant for those who can metabolize food without any changes in their weight. I did not handle exercise well either, I would give it a good shot here and there but I would eventually end up further depressed as it would start to feel like an exhaustive chore. I like to run and I love yoga but I did not like to have to do it to counteract what I eat.

I read about ketosis when I was 26 years old and I realized I had grown accustomed to eating the starchiest foods in order to avoid fat and sugar as they are what other diets name as the main culprits of weight gain. Once I understood what starch was and how it is metabolized, I saw my escape from the guilt and a way back into the kitchen. I felt like a weight that was not felt in pounds lift off me and it was one of the sweetest feelings I had ever experienced.

I did a bit of research on which foods were the starchiest and which ones had minimal to zero starch and began to experiment with dishes I had previously been too afraid to touch.

Eggs, meats and fishes are starch-free proteins. Dairy and gelatin is starch-free. Onions are a starch-free vegetable and spinach, kale, and bok choy have almost negligible amounts of starch. So far I use these ingredients in a responsible rotation with herbs, seasonings and spices to add flavour. My favourites are now custard cakes, cheesecakes, omelettes, slow-cooked chicken or beef or pork, stewed sausage and any kind of fish dish.

In a proper ketogenic diet, sugar is not to be used much as it is considered a carbohydrate however if one follows the 'avoid starch' aspect more so than 'avoid all carbohydrates' then they can have a fair amount of sugar day to day. There are a handful of sugar alternatives which have similar tastes and I used to use a couple of them before I read into sugar alcohols and saw that there is speculation of the adverse effects they have on one's metabolism over time.

There is a bit of caution that must be present when on this kind of low starch diet. The foods that have minimal starch tend to effect one's arteries and organs in a negative way if not eaten in proper proportions as well as with colourful side dishes. Colourful as in vitamin and mineral filled vegetables. The antioxidants and nutrients in green vegetables are often the best to pair with meats, tofu or alternative proteins as they often have a low starch content. Certain greens can be a bit high in starch such as peas and avocado however if one is not on a super strict ketogenic diet they are not the worst to include.

Certain dishes will need a fiber boost in order to keep one's system safe from constipation and stomach aches. I tend to have a bit of ground flax or flax powder which is around a gram of starch per two tablespoons. Fiber is a carbohydrate on its own, it is separate from starch so there is no guilt there.

A good workout is part of overall health however it is not needed in excess to keep one's weight in check if there is no starch in their system to burn. So far I have not found much time for exercise and I have noticed this has not been detrimental to my weight since I started to eat cleaner.

I am over the moon now that I can cook for myself and my family without the fear of weight gain and the embarrassment of extreme portion control. I hope whoever reads this will find this diet to be a liberator from all other deprivation-centric diets and find love in the kitchen like I did!