Biscuit? Cookie? Cracker? It’s a treat!

If you’ve read part 1 of my cookie reviews, you’ll know that I enjoy a few things – nuts, chocolate, tea, coffee, and the crunch of it all. On the same coin, I’m not a fan of caramel, mint, soft, or an inappropriate cookie to chocolate/nut chunk ratio. Being biracially not only culturally but in my lifestyle means that I’ve been exposed to a number of different things from different areas.

What baffles me is the biscuit arena. To me, a biscuit is much less sweet than a cookie, crunchy, and less salty than a cracker. Usually eaten by dipping into coffee or tea. But I found out that biscuits are some sort of buttery, flavorless bread?

Here I’ll cover a number of items that some call “cookies,” others “biscuits,” and still others “crackers.” Now, to me – crackers are salty, not sweet; but without further ado:

1. Fortune Cookies

Okay, if you’ve never had a fortune cookie of these you probably live in a cave. They’re so commonplace. I remember dipping these in chocolate and sprinkles to sell for fundraisers during college. Not super sure if some people use the numbers for the lottery anymore, but that was in a movie once and I got a laugh out of it. I’m not sure why these are called cookies as they’re about as sweet as graham crackers and crunchier as well. I’d classify these as biscuits.

2. Graham Crackers

Speaking of graham crackers, this is what we use with Hershey’s Chocolate and toasted marshmallows to make s’mores around the campfire; and gingerbread houses. Depending on how much experience there is with those, you may remember marshmallows burning green and wondering why you’d ever eat that, and feel slightly competitive around building the biggest possible gingerbread house. I’m not convinced that they’re crackers so much as biscuits. I’ve been dipping these into my coffee for my morning breakfast. They’re not overly sweet, and nowhere close to salty or dry/bland. These are also great for pie and cheesecake crusts.

3. Animal Crackers

Almost every child has seen and heard of animal crackers, and maybe even requested specific shapes and made jokes out of eating the general anatomy of whatever animal they had after guessing the animal. Parents might be slightly annoyed at the crumbs and wonder if they were ever that bad. Not sure why these are considered crackers rather than biscuits either. They’re crunchy, sweet, and not salty or bland.

4. Dansk Danish Cookies

It’s easy to get Dansk’s Danish cookies at a Walmart in a Christmas pinch. The tin is full of sugar dusted crunchy goodies. This I’d classify somewhere between biscuits and cookies – closer to biscuits if the sugar is dusted off.

5. Lotus Biscoff Cookies

I am absolutely addicted to Biscoff cookies. Whether it’s the original or chocolate ones, I enjoy dipping them in coffee, or Nutella/hazelnut spread. These are more sweet and greasy than graham crackers or Danish cookies. They were served on Delta flights in the pre-COVID world. They also have a nut butter version which diabetics are raving about spreading on breads and rice cakes. Completely agree with the cookie classification as far as grease and sugar content, but more so for the chocolate ones.

6. McVitie’s Digestive Biscuit

Well, here’s an awkward blurb. McVitie’s Digestive Biscuits has a reputation as a biscuit that can make the digestive tract uncomfortable. They’re delicious, although the chocolate covered ones are slightly heartburn inducing. I usually see the British and/or older generations enjoying these with tea or coffee. It’s not as popular with younger generations (probably due to the fibrous nature). The chocolate guys do get sticky and melty very quickly, and these aren’t overly crunchy nor are soft. Pro tip – everything gets soft as soon as its dipped in a hot beverage, if these crunchy tidbits are too crunch for you. Just don’t hold it there too long or it’ll fall into the bottom of the mug and become inedible just from the sheer absorption of fluid. I agree with the biscuit classification for the originals; but would put the chocolate ones in the cookie category.

7. Petit Ecolier

Petit Ecolier Chocolate European Biscuits strikes me as a strange one. I’ve never been able to split the chocolate layer from the biscuit layer as cleanly as I’d like but I’ve done each side on the tongue similar to how people might eat O’reos – take one side off and eat the cream separately from the other cracker. On the one hand, the biscuit side is most definitely similar to a Kedem tea biscuit – low carb, light in sugar, not salty, crunchy, not bland. On the other, the chocolate side is 100% chocolate. Unlike most other cookies/biscuits/crackers I’ve talked about I would NOT ever dip these in any hot beverage because the complimentary contrast of the chocolate and biscuit sides would be destroyed as soon as the chocolate was melted off. These are nice to drink coffee, tea, or milk with separately, cold or hot. I will not be trying to have these with fruit teas however. That would just be weird. Agree with the biscuit classification since the overall sweetness of these is much lower than other biscuits/cookies, and they lack in grease.

8. Walker’s Shortbread

I bought a box of Walker’s shortbread in a poorly planned grocery shopping trip where I went when I was hungry. Never ever go grocery shopping when hungry – usually this results in buying more food, and they might not be the healthiest choices. I fully regret buying these. I was missing my mother’s crunchy, crumbly, soft shortbread. These are a strange treat in how bland they are. I’d definitely classify them as cookies due to the sheer grease content.

9. Goya Maria Cookies

Goya Maria Cookies I’d classify as tea biscuits – they lack sugar, salt, and grease and are highly dippable in tea, coffee, milk, and Nutella. Also not bland. Think Digestives with less grease and crumble.

10. Lorna Doone Shortbread

Lorna Doone Shortbread is delicious. They’re slightly crumbly and sweet, with enough crunch and grease to be affirmed as cookies. While they aren’t as healthy as my mother’s creations, they’re a good backup since I’m too busy to bake like that.

11. Ikea Kafferep Chocolate-Flavoured Biscuits

Ikea’s Kafferep Chocolate-Flavoured Biscuits had to grow on me. I didn’t quite like my first one. One side is a vanilla type of biscuit similar to Dansk Danish cookies minus the sugar dusting, while the other side is a chocolate flavored biscuit of the same texture and crunchiness. In the center is a chocolate chunk. I found myself actually actively craving these after a while – each one is 10g of carbs and checks all my boxes – crunchy, chocolate, and not too sweet or greasy. I would not dip these in hot beverages however, because similar to Petit Ecolier, I don’t want the chocolate center to melt or the biscuit to become soft.

Whether these treats are biscuits or cookies to you, you’ll have to admit they rank differently on the sweetness and saturated fat content compared to the ones I covered in Part 1. While the debate might continue depending on your cultural background and how much we’d like to oversimplify things, these are still tasty tidbits. Stay posted for part 3 on tea biscuits!