grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
Grief 101: Standing alone
I am so thankful that Vocal has a category for grief because it enables me to write what I am feeling in order to assist others. As I have said in previous articles, I have dealt with grief, funerals, and cemeteries since age 5. I recall standing in the church cemetery when Great Great uncle Jim was buried. I remember when my cousins had their great grandpa's body in the house the night before the funeral and they cried so loud I could hear them at my home which was about a half block away through a field. As a teen, I sang with the church choir during funerals and went through the traditional motions when people died.
By Cheryl E Preston5 years ago in Families
Put some Vaseline on it
My father spent no small amount of time teaching us as he had been taught. Treat everyone with respect, especially women; do the best you could no matter what the subject was. Respect and love your mother, and above all if you get hurt "don't cry". My brother, Chris, and I became intimately acquainted with Papa's many remedies: "Rub it up", "put some dirt on it", "big boys don't cry", "they're tough". Phrases like these along with "put some Vaseline on it" or "it'll make an American out of you", each meant to discourage us from crying, but usually had the opposite effect.
By David X. Sheehan5 years ago in Families
How I Hate the Phrase, "I'm sorry..."
They teach us the phrase 'I'm sorry' when we were young. It could even be as early as when we were born, being pushed out by our mothers and slapped, pricked by nurses who apologize for causing us pain and discomfort that we won't remember. They drill the phrase into our heads on the playground when we get into fights over whose turn it is. It's our way out of punishment when we hit our siblings, even though we might not mean it. A phrase made to show empathy, to show that we are compassionate about someone's unfortunate situation. As if our compassion is to compensate them for something that we could not be at fault for.
By Maitee Natalia 5 years ago in Families
Flowers of hope
Flowers of hope is one of my best projects as a creative so far because it has given me a metaphor of love & life which I never got from my previous works. Although I loved to create jewelry, dresses & paintings I never had a personal connection to my projects or hobbies. When I would be alone in my creative space I would just grab some jewelry wires & charms to make a cool pair of earrings . Maybe grab some fabrics from my bin & sew a pretty dress. Or I would get a blank canvas & let the vibrant colors speak for me. During the pandemic last year my family got some shocking news my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. I watched my aunt go from a vibrant active woman to being scared that she wouldn't be alive to watch her children graduate, losing her hair and barely being able to walk or speak. You never know how you handle certain situations until it hits home or happens to someone you love. For the first time I saw my uncle be vulnerable, he was always so strong & barely showed any emotions. To watch him breakdown seeing his lifelong partner be in so much pain was a touching moment. It scared me because it showed me how unpredictable or unfair life can be. One day could be filled with happiness the next day could be filled with fear or uncertainty.Of course I wanted to ask her a million questions, like what stage are you? , when will your treatments be over. I wanted to inspire her spiritually with words of wisdom, courage & strength but I was left speechless. In that moment I became inspired to create the pandemic really put a hold on my creative juices but with her diagnosis I became inspired with a new idea flowers of hope. I turned to my tools which were scissors, rhinestone adhesives, artificial flowers & a vase.The rhinestone adhesives represented the sun meaning that even if she felt like she was in a dark place there would be light at the end. The green flowers represented me wishing her good health & rejuvenation after the storm is over. The days she would go in for chemotherapy she would have to lay down for hours in complete silence because it made her body so weak .The pink flowers I picked was a way of me speaking to her wishing her happiness & grace along this journey. She doesn't smile as much like she use too but when its over I cant wait to see her be happy again laughing without a care in the world.
By Mary Skies5 years ago in Families
Finding Joy Again
We were your average family; happily married with 2 kids, a girl and a boy. Life was perfect. We were happy and could not imagine anything happening that could change that. That is, until we were told our 6-year-old son had brain cancer. We went from being on the top of the world to a dark place, deep in fear and grief.
By Amy Davidson 5 years ago in Families
Breathe
I shifted in the aged wooden chair that was pulled up to our kitchen table. It creaked underneath me while I put as much weight as I could onto the cookie cutter surrounded by dough. My sister, who sat across the table from me, got up and took a break from our annual tradition of cookie making the day of Christmas Eve. Small white snowflakes whisped through the air outside and the gloomy atmosphere made for perfect Christmas baking weather. I delicately peeled a man shaped dough piece off the floured table and gently placed it on a metal sheet. The delicate process of transferring dough took all my concentration, as I made sure to keep in tact all of the man’s parts. Feet first, then torso and arms came second. I just about finished laying him down when the phone rang. Startled, my hand shook, ripping the cookie man’s head off. The padding of my moms feet became more and more audible the closer she walked. My back facing her, I heard the hastiness in her footsteps as she slid the last few feet to the phone.
By Heather Brackman5 years ago in Families
The Flower Angel Wheel
My Mother passed unexpectedly from bone marrow cancer on March 28, 2020. Should I say we did not see the end coming? She would leave us so rapidly and be buried so soon. My Mother was a very vibrant and talented woman with all her faculties in order. She was a creative artist, poet, writer, playwright, Dancer, Singer, Author, and Producer. My Mother began to be genuinely involved with her creativity at the early age of 60’; this is when I noticed that she could really draw and paint.
By Devonae Booth5 years ago in Families
Quilting Therapy
I was newly divorced with two preschool daughters; my sister was graduating from college. My sister Cathy wanted to give herself a graduation gift – a quilting class. She asked me to take the class with her, but I couldn’t afford the fabric and supplies. When I told her that, she said she would pay for all my supplies if I would just keep her company for the class. Ten weeks later when the class finished, neither of us had a quilt, but we had some finished squares and lots of cut fabric that was on its way to turning into squares. I had loved the class, Cathy less so. A few days later she gave me a bag full of her fabric and squares. That was nearly 40 years ago, and I didn’t quilt again.
By Linda Campbell5 years ago in Families
Comforting Through Crochet
I come from a Law Enforcement family. My Grandfather, Father and Uncle were all police officers in Washington, DC as well as a few of my mom’s cousins. I had hoped to be an officer too, but nerve damage kept me from it. I discovered Dispatching in 1999 and never looked back. I learned to crochet when I was 11, at the elbow of our neighborhood Grandma, Mrs. Sargent. She taught me the basics, but I didn’t start reading patterns until 2007, and I have only just begun on the writing side.
By Jennifer Johnson5 years ago in Families
