Quilting Therapy

I was newly divorced with two preschool daughters; my sister was graduating from college. My sister Cathy wanted to give herself a graduation gift – a quilting class. She asked me to take the class with her, but I couldn’t afford the fabric and supplies. When I told her that, she said she would pay for all my supplies if I would just keep her company for the class. Ten weeks later when the class finished, neither of us had a quilt, but we had some finished squares and lots of cut fabric that was on its way to turning into squares. I had loved the class, Cathy less so. A few days later she gave me a bag full of her fabric and squares. That was nearly 40 years ago, and I didn’t quilt again.

Fast forward 38 years. I was newly retired and my husband of 30 years had just died suddenly and unexpectedly. I was at loose ends. I ran into a friend, Tammy, at a yard sale; I hadn’t seen or spoken to her since her husband died, nearly 6 years ago. I was looking at a lot of sewing stuff at the yard sale and so was Tammy. I knew that she was a quilter and she mentioned she was thinking about going again to a quilt group in which she had participated a few years ago - and I impulsively invited myself to go with her if she decided to go.

Tammy invited me to her home to sew with her. She had a “she-shed”. The only thing I knew about a she-shed was that Sheryl’s burned down in a State Farm Insurance TV commercial; I surely did not know a real person with one. And, oh, was I impressed! Multiples of scissors, pincushions, cutting mats and rotary cutters, zippers, buttons, patterns; several irons, one cordless (who knew?); more than one sewing machine and two comfortable chairs for sitting in all day. And fabric – it looked like a miniature quilt shop. The fabric was neatly folded and displayed, separated by color and in every color of the rainbow and then some. We spent one day every week in the she-shed, working on separate projects, joint projects, masks, learning new things from YouTube. And we talked a lot!

I had shared with Tammy that I wanted to make a double wedding ring table runner for my daughter, and shortly thereafter I decided to make two of them, one for each daughter. Tammy said, “Don’t go shopping for fabric until you’ve shopped in my she-shed first.” She lent me a rotary cutter and cutting mat, even reconfigured a cutter for a leftie (me) and put my name on it. In my ignorance, I had chosen a pattern that was far beyond my experience and I struggled with every step. With Tammy’s fabric, tools and moral support, I had both table runners ready for Christmas.

I made many more projects using Tammy’s she-shed as my shop. She never wanted to take a payment for the fabric and supplies I used in her shop, so I took to hiding money in the rotary cutter drawer. When she found it, she always tucked it away, and said, “Now I have money to buy new fabric.”

My husband was something of a packrat and when I was clearing out a very stuffed storage room, I found the quilting blocks and fabric that my sister gave me after the quilt class nearly 40 years ago. There were about 6 complete blocks and I decided to make some pillows from them. It didn’t take long for me to realize I didn’t really want 6 pillows in those colors. I decided to make a wall hanging with four of the squares and give them to my sister for her birthday. At that time COVID restrictions were firmly in place, but I wanted to see Cathy’s expression when she opened the gift. I couldn’t wait to see if she recognized the squares. So months after her birthday my daughter and I took off for Virginia in the car (we live in Florida). My sister immediately recognized the piece was handmade and said she loved it. Then she recognized her squares! Although the colors were a bit dated and her home was more modern, she chose a prominent place to hang my gift. I’m not sure who was happier about the wall hanging - her or me.

When the table runners and the wall hanging were finished I was looking for another project. It seriously needed to be a simpler pattern than the double wedding ring. Bob had been a law enforcement officer for 37 years, loved Harley Davidsons, played the bagpipes and was immersed in everything Scottish. And he had LOTS of T-shirts, so I decided to make a T-shirt quilt for my granddaughter. She and her Grandpa were very close and she missed him so much. She wanted his truck, but I convinced her it was on its last legs and was a gas hog. I promised I’d find something special for her from him, and a T-shirt quilt was perfect!

By then I was a member of two local quilt groups – no organization, dues or classes, just two groups of women unbelievably generous with their tools and their knowledge. Only a couple members of the two groups had made a T-shirt quilt, so I picked their brains for all I could. I borrowed a 15-inch square ruler and bought some T-shirt stabilizer, but I needed a lot more stabilizer than I could find. With the COVID restrictions in place, even ordering online wasn’t a smooth process and delivery times were really long. I worked in stages; when I got some stabilizer, I would cut up several T-shirts, stabilize them, then wait until I could get more. It took many months for that quilt to be finished, but it was done just before my granddaughter’s birthday. Now this kid (23 years old) doesn’t show her emotions much. So when we went out to eat for her birthday, one of the few times out the entire year, I decided to wrap the quilt and give it to her at the restaurant. She started crying at the emotional moment and soon all of us at the table were crying, too. And everyone in the restaurant was craning to see the quilt.

I had always planned to make another T-shirt quilt for myself, but when I finished the first one I counted the shirts I had left and realized I could make one for each of my daughters and one for myself, too. Fortunately, by then retail had opened up and it was much easier to get the stabilizer, so I finished two of them in time for Christmas, but mine went to the end of the line. Now we all have quilts from Bob’s shirts, and each of them has a label sewed into it titled “A Hug from Bob (or Grandpa)”.

One of the nicest things about my new hobby is that Tammy and I have discovered a small quilt shop not too far from home. We are in a small town in central Florida and the nearest large store for quilting supplies and fabric is about an hour and a half away. But we have discovered a tiny full-service and reasonably priced shop owned by the nicest quilter. She has two long-arm quilting machines and she is so creative – I keep telling her that her quilting is art, she really knows how to bring life and beauty to our pieced projects. And she hosts classes, too, so we can enjoy wonderful camaraderie while learning a new technique or creating something unique. Tammy calls this little shop “Linda’s Happy Place.”

I am currently in process of turning my largest extra bedroom into a sewing room. Right now I am the plastic storage tote queen – I have different sizes, colors and shapes, large and small, and all full of fabric, patterns and supplies. My sewing machine is on the dining room table and the supplies I use daily are constantly in the way. I have scheduled new flooring and painting, and every day I scour the internet for sewing room ideas. Even that passive activity brings me joy and I can’t wait to have it complete. I am forcing myself not to buy furniture until the room is ready for it because I want everything to be organized without a hodgepodge of storage supplies and furniture.

Retiring, losing my husband and COVID changed my life so drastically. In the year and a half since my husband’s death, I’ve made the 4 T-shirt quilts, a wall hanging to commemorate our trip to Alaska celebrating our 30th anniversary, a Christmas wall hanging, my sister’s wall hanging, two table runners, dozens of potholders, a mystery quilt, 4 sewing machine pads, lots of pillows, many purses, tote bags and computer bags, too many masks to count. And although I don’t have too many UFO’s (UnFinished Objects), I do have two or three.

The loneliness and grief was overwhelming – without quilting the last 18 months would have been very different for me. The creative and colorful process of quilting itself has definitely brought me joy and continues to every day. But by far, the best part of quilting has been meeting and spending time with so many strong, remarkable and resilient women. In the two groups I quilt with, we’ve shared the deaths of spouses and children, COVID infections, moving, sickness, surgeries. And weddings and births and graduations of grandchildren (and great-grandchildren) and the purchase of embroidery machines! We get each other.