grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
Tales of Dad
My dad was the best, most people say that about their dad, but it was true for mine. My dad passed away on March 26th, 2022. I was with my mom and grandma going to a plant nursery. On our way there, I saw a red-tailed hawk, I swear it winked at me, and then it felt like all of my insides had been taken away. I was hollow, there was nothing inside of me anymore. I was empty.
By Dusti West4 years ago in Families
A Heart Full of Lightning Bugs
I stood near the dark wooden casket, waiting for the viewing to start. Staring down at dad, dressed in the dark three-piece suit he hated, he looked as empty and lifeless as I felt. As empty and lifeless as this depressing room, with its faded wallpaper and its cloying smell of flowers and chemicals. Dad had been so full of life, then struck down so swiftly by the heart attack. A widow maker they called it, but mom had passed last year. Perhaps they should call it an orphan maker, since now there was an empty void where my parents had once stood. A void as empty as my heart. I had not wept when mom died after her long lingering illness, perhaps since she had already been gone for so long, her eyes empty for years. But dad was taken so quickly that I only felt shock; surely the tears will come later, when it all truly sinks in.
By Randy Dannenfelser4 years ago in Families
Loving the Grieving Heart
To me, my father was my hero. He moved mountains figuratively speaking and did everything in his power to make sure his kids had everything that was needed. He never over did it with spoiling us. He always took his time with my siblings and I. He was and still is a very big family man. Nothing got between him and his kids or his wife. All that said, we never had a perfect family, or father, but I'm very happy that I never had a perfect father. He taught me everything he knows; from simple tricks for homework throughout my years in school to learning how to drive and fix my own car. He even taught me everything about the birds and the bees. I wanted to be everything my father was as I grew up and tried to make myself be all that and more.
By Kylie Kopf4 years ago in Families
Dad
I sit next to the bed and hold his hand. The clock cheerily keeping count of the minutes for me. I wonder how many people before me have held hands with their loved ones in this very room? It’s cold and clinical and as much as this space is supposed to feel like a home, it is just make-believe. I wish I could go back in time and be that fairy princess who rode dragons bareback to save the world. Were the people before me as scared as I am? Did their minds scream to run as far as they could? To the past or future, it doesn’t really matter. Anywhere but here. But I am here. Stuck in a moment that will forever live in my heart.
By Lisa Gledhill4 years ago in Families
Lessons From Beyond a Father's Grave
In the aftermath of your death, they ask me do you miss him? I smile something brittle knowing it doesn’t reach my eyes, deflect with well-practiced responses that do everything to acknowledge but nothing to answer the question.
By Tonya Johnson4 years ago in Families
My Father's Fingernails
I believed that I had to die in order to stop suffering from the death of my father. I remember telling my future wife sometime after we had met that I wanted to die before my parents, refusing to suffer their loss. I probably only meant that for my father: the man who held my hand at less than three years of age when we disembarked from the boat that brought us to our new home, the man who always tasted the melon first before sharing it with his three remaining children and his wife, the man who let me enjoy the touch of his calloused hands and yellowing fingernails, the man who secretly ate the tasty homemade pastries and fresh seasonal fruits and blamed it on me when reproached by his domineering wife, the man who worked for the army and returned home early to take care of me, the man who knew how to cook a mean spaghetti, the man who taught me by example to seek peace and quiet, the man I painfully loved even when he became difficult to deal with following his drawn-out struggle with Alzheimer’s disease, the man whose smile could light up any room including his private one in the nursing home, the man I lost at the tender age of 89. Is this all I could remember of the forty years of having a father? No! It is only a simple synopsis of all those years, a broad overview of four decades, a would-be writer’s whimper.
By Patrick M. Ohana4 years ago in Families
The Old Dog
My first memory was of his warm face. Brown, like caramel, and with kind, big eyes, gazing into me, sharing in my joy. What joy? Well, I suppose it was the joy of my being here. I had just been introduced to life, and he had just been introduced to me. As family members and close friends clustered into that small space to see me, I knew his chest swelled with pride, and everyone gave him kind pats and warm words.
By The Chronicler4 years ago in Families
My Dad the Bear. Top Story - July 2022.
The call came at 2:30am on June 30th, 2010. A call that jolts you from your sleep in the middle of the night is never a good call. I don’t remember the exact conversation, only phrases like "sepsis" and “massive heart attack” and “we did everything possible” and “we’re very sorry.”
By Heather Hagy4 years ago in Families
With Love, There's Always a Place to Land. Top Story - July 2022.
It all started with an email from my cousin Suzie’s daughter Raven. On a Sunday evening, I read: “My father (Dave) is very ill, and I am hoping if I get his old license plates to you with some small watch faces you could make two small birdhouses. I want them to look like my parents’ house, with the same bright green door. I know you’re busy. As long as one gets done for my parents, mine can wait. I’m hoping if it gets done my dad will come back as a type of bird to visit them.”
By Catherine Kenwell4 years ago in Families
To My First Love
I had not thought of you in quite some time. Oh, every now and then, your distant memory would come to the windows of my world and look in for just awhile. You and your blue eyes and snarky smile were whimsically seen but swiftly dismissed. But this time, well....you demanded to be let in. You intruded very unexpectedly, in fact.
By Shirley Belk4 years ago in Families
Have you ever had a dream come true?
I had a dream come true in 2018. Ever since then, I have had almost a fear of dreaming. I don’t want to know what is about to come. I don’t want any signs. Because I obsess over it. I lose sleep over it. I can’t help but think about it and try to break down everything I remember and look up what it may mean and try to decipher what the hell is going on.
By Ashlie Cross4 years ago in Families
