What Do I Say When...

On a particularly sunny day in June, an eleven year old named Chey approached her older sister, with a face full of gloom. She said, "Hey sissy, I have a question that’s hard for me to ask.

I hope that you can help me because it’s really quite the task.

I don’t know how to explain or really, where to start.

Mostly because when I try to phrase it, well, it really breaks my heart."

Chey paused and gathered up the courage to tell Sissy, "My question is, What do I say, when my friends ask what gifts I’ve made for Father’s day? What do I say, when they ask me where he’s gone? I don’t mind that they’re asking but the truth just sounds so wrong.

The truth is, It’s hard for me to answer, because I still just don’t know why, I don’t understand why my daddy had to die."

With a deep sigh, Sissy kneels to be eye level with Chey. She ponders on what is the best response because these questions were much deeper than Chey thought.

"Well honey, even as a grown up, sometimes it’s hard for me to say,

I didn’t know I could love him more with every passing day.

But, I learned that even though I miss him and I can’t help but tear. I know in my heart that daddy is always near. I can feel his bear hugs when the sun warms my skin.

I can feel him dancing in the wind. So swift and smooth or wild and fast, sometimes dad just needs a laugh. On days that I’m happiest, he hangs out long. On days that I’m saddest, I feel him strong."

With tearful eyes Chey says, "But, I can’t snuggle him or kiss his cheeks. I cannot hide while he seeks. Some days, I don’t think I’ll get through."

Bringing Chey in for a soft embrace, "On days like those, just remember what dad would do." Sissy proclaimed. "Like when we’d go up the mountains and to the snow, then, fill our truck and take some home. We’d put the snow out on our yard, so grand, and invite the neighbors to our wonderland. When he’d tell us jokes, mom didn’t like or the time he taught you to ride your bike. How he’d decorate for holidays and cook a feast that was always good, or when he taught us to pitch a tent and how to stack firewood. He gave us memories and taught us lessons we’ll never forget. He lived a life without regret."

Sissy paused and guided Chey to the bedroom and continued.

"But, my most secret trick when I need him near, I take a look inside the mirror.

There’s a piece of him inside of you and me. Take a look and try to see.

You have his eyes and I have his nose. Look at the color that our hair grows. I used to hate that I wasn’t thin, or the little bumps on my skin. Then one day, I noticed he had them too. Once I got older, I finally knew, that we are a perfect mix of our Mom and Dad. After that, all my “imperfections” didn’t seem so bad. So, when your heart is heavy tomorrow or today,

Look into the mirror and say:

'I may be struggling but I am strong,

Because I know that you’re not gone.

I may get knocked down but I’ll stand tall,

because you catch me when I fall.

I’ll hug my friends and family when I really feel the pain.

Because, we are linked together like a magic chain.

Love is the magic that created me and it keeps our bonds so strong.

Love is how I know that you’re not gone.

You’re in my heart forever and I hope to make you proud.

I’ll fill my soul with love and a confidence so loud.

I’ll follow my dreams and take on goals that daunt.

I’ll live a life with no regrets because me being happy is all you’d want.

I love you.'

When you’re friends ask you about dad, try not to be mean, because the more we talk about it, the less difficult it’ll seem."

With a lighter heart than earlier that day, Chey looked into the mirror at herself and said,

"When my friends ask what happened, I’ll remember they’re just concerned and I can tell them what I’ve learned. I’ll say ‘He may be somewhere far away or in the sky above. Although he’s not here on Earth, I can always feel his love.”