A Holiday Gone Wrong Year After Year After Year!

I was married at age 17. I know it was too young now, but at the time I was being encouraged to marry my boyfriend by my mother, his mother, and him. We were engaged when I was 16.

My husband was out of the service and appeared to have a drinking problem. And maybe a few drugs were a problem also.

I wasn't pregnant, although I was living with my boyfriend. Years later my mother told me, she pushed on the wedding as she didn't want her grandchildren born out of wedlock. Wow, I guess that makes some sense, considering where we were living in the world at the time.

Growing up, I remember always having a nice meal on New Years' eve and some kind of family gathering.

When I got involved with my husband, there was always a party. Then we would count in the New Year together with some romance. Sometimes friends would be there with us and other times we would be alone.

Sometime after we were married, he would start drinking early and would be passed out at midnight and would never bring in the New Year as we once had.

Skip forward to having children. I was 21 and then 24 when I gave birth to a girl and then a boy. By then hubby wasn't making it until noon many New Years' Eve nights before he was drunk. He would not make it to midnight ever again, while we were together.

We were together for 15 years. He would occasionally wake up in the evening, drink, go to bed or pass out before midnight.

I don't know how many years he spoiled my New Year's Eve, but I do know that now I need no one to spoil New Years' Eve for me as I never want to stay up to bring in the New Year. It doesn't mean anything to me as it did when I was a child. Or as a young woman.

I got into recovery at age 24 and stopped using alcohol and drugs at age 26. When I would come up to New Year's Eve, it no longer had meaning. I went to bed early on many nights. I learned that it was not a big deal when I no longer drank and just have never changed that attitude.

People in recovery would call this holiday amateur night. So many would not want to go anywhere due to fear of people drinking and driving that weren't used to drinking and driving!

Was this the only holiday that drinking spoiled? No, but this was the consistent one that happened year after year. I don't know where he got the idea to start drinking in the morning on New Year's Eve.

Before our divorce, his drinking and drug use spoiled most holidays, for me and the kids both.

So, my question now is why haven't I changed this? I have done something a few times with my now husband. We will usually go out for dinner to celebrate the New Year if we do anything. That was over 40 years ago now.

I can not blame the kids' dad for that today. I can make the change to celebrate how I want to celebrate.

So what shall we do this year? My hubby and I were married on December 23, 2004. We have been together for 22 years, soon to be 23 years. We celebrate very well throughout the holidays. Do I need to work on celebrating the New Year?

Because the New Year falls on Sunday this year, New Year's Eve will be Saturday. We will have an early dinner, attend a meeting and get home by 10:00 p.m. I will stay up for the countdown and hugs and kisses!