Whispers of The Soul

I tasted death in the air, like cigarette ashes on my tongue. The thick woodsy flames that rose up on my father left patches of missing skin. His oils didn’t help with the stiff, leathery, charred-black skin that never grew back. It smelled like bleach and gasoline with a sharp stench of acrid.

A vacant body? More like a dissolved shell.

Midnight falls and I look out my wooden splintered window, thinking to myself.

If mom never lashed out on him, he would still be here.

I smelled the sour blood that stained the wooden oak tree. I could only see the shadows of my late father that roamed the woods. but my mother, Lisa, doesn’t believe in the soul running freely after one’s whole being is dismantled.

My mother gripped her silver cross in her hand and shut her eyes while she recited words that would bring her weeping tears. She fell to her knees and cried out to the lord.

Though My father Daniel, was a believer of God, but more spiritual than religious. My father believed in the rooms being blessed with sage and he prayed to God but also to deities. One moment he prayed to God for protection, and when God didn’t answer him as fast as he wanted, the deities acted on his timing.

It felt like it was only yesterday, where I smelled the scented musky, savory, forest-like and white smoke coming from a green, thick, grassy wand.

“Keep all evil away from my family and I, protect us from all those who come to us as our friends but leave as something else. Protect us from all those who give us the evil eye. May our mind, body, heart, spirit, and soul be protected. Ashe.”

Those were the exact words my father recited as he passed around the sage from each room, after he entered, he would walk backwards to leave the rooms.

My father believed in cleaning ourselves with eggs.

He would say “This helps remove evil.”

But my mother didn’t like that idea, she says

“The only thing that can protect you from any evil is Jesus himself.

He would proceed to clean himself and myself with an egg.

“If that’s what you believe, then go ahead, let another man protect you, a man you can’t even see.”

He continues to roll the egg all over his clothed body and mine as well.

Her muscled neck veins became prominent as she shouted out.

“I can’t see him in this life but I know I will see him in the next life. Jesus has and always will be the kings of all kings, lords of all lords, and our lord and savior. I don’t want Elvira involved in your spiritual nonsense.”

“Go to bed Elvira. Your mother and I need to have a conversation.”

My father said while he gave me a stern look in my eyes. He had a flat expression. His jaw did tighten, which meant he was serious.

“Mm,Mom?”

I said as I looked at her with my eyes weary.

“Go ahead sweetheart, this won’t be long.”

She gave me a warm smirk that showed her cheek dimple. She winked before I headed towards the stairs.

I walked past my parents and up the one flight of stairs. The gray carpet that led to my room always made me feel a bit dizzy. It felt as though I was in a mental prison whenever I looked at these carpets. They remind me of something, but I don’t fully remember. The narrow lavender purple hallway, that color gave me some hope. I went into my room and organized my bed a tad bit.

I had one large stack of fashion magazines lying on my bed, accompanied by six blouses, and two blue distressed pairs of jeans. I just threw everything on the side of my floor, I felt a knot in the center of my stomach. I decided not to put anything away. My leg kept on shaking viciously.

I gathered my thick, dark brown, curly hair with a blush pink scrunchy into a pineapple style and wrapped it with my sunshine yellow hair scarf. I kissed my wooden brown, white feathered , dream catcher that hanged from my bed’s headboard. I am fast asleep at this point, with my powder pink quilt covering me and my beige thick throw blanket under it. I tossed and turned out of free will, it felt like something was wrestling with my spirit.

I opened my eyes and I felt something that pulled my spirit out of my body.

“What is happening, am I dead?”

I roamed around my room, and paced around it for a good twelve minutes.

“Did I die in my sleep?” That is all I recited in my mind.

It felt like a tingling sensation throughout my spirit. I was visually seeing everything in my room, I saw my physical body still sleeping there on my bed, just resting peacefully and I still wasn’t sure if it turned into a stiffed body moment in what I believe is my reality.

I tried going back into my body, I tried shaking my own body thinking maybe this is just a strange dream. I walked down my parent's stairs and I entered my parents doorway and could see my mother was not awake. In her Navy-blue, floor-length pajamas that would stretch comfortably as she moved around in the bed. I saw how her face rested on her silky black pillow case.

My mother always tried to prevent face, neck, and hand wrinkles. She moisturized every day. She takes her skin care regimen seriously as she did her Bible. I crept around towards her bedroom mirror, and I looked closely and I saw something I didn’t want to see. My own reflection. What I saw was something that only a therapist could pick apart.

I heard a noise coming from the living room. It sounded like a low raspy whisper.

“Elvira, We’ve been listening.”

I walked towards the voice. I smelled something foul, like rotten liver baked in a heatwave.

I had a reflux in my throat. A sensation of it squeezing together with my stomach turning.

I wondered where the scent came from.

I thought to myself.

I placed both of my hands to cover both sides of my nose.

I walked towards the rotten scent, more and more. The closer I got the more I saw something, something black, and from above my mothers’ head something sprinkled black dust in her face.

She adjusted her pillows that covered her face.

A muffled sound of gibberish came from her, as it always did when she dozed back to sleep.

“I have to get out of here!” I said.

“Please, something, someone help me!”

In less than a second, my spirit fastened up to my bedroom and I was placed back into my body. It felt like I was a lighting bolt being shocked into my physical flesh.

Light, a shining light appeared around me.

“My child, what are you doing?”

This was a voice that felt calm, and it soothed me.

I felt a rain of warmth in my heart.

I wondered if this was even real. The experience, the black dust that softly kissed my mothers’ face, the voices I heard. Everything.

What I did know is, this was something that couldn’t just have surfaced. This experience felt like it was something I heard about, but I didn’t remember from where?

Once I got up from my bed, I jotted down the hallway, and down the stairs to my parent’s bedroom.

My first thought while I walked towards their bedroom was. “The black dust!”

I looked around with my eyes bulged out.

“Mom, are you okay?” I whispered when I came closer to her side of the bed.

She squeezed her plush pillows as she rubbed her face in it and her body tossed to the side. She repositioned her body with her legs wrestling with the blanket.

“I, I, I’m fine sweetheart.” She mumbled.

Her speech was slurred as if she was a drunk.

“Mom, are you going to get up now?”

She sucked her teeth while she positioned herself towards me.

“Let me stay in bed, go see what your father is doing.”

“He, He’s gone, remember?”

My eyes watered.

“How could you forget?” I said while I looked around, my body shaked in anger.

“Can I just rest for a bit more!” She placed a few pillows right under her head.

I still did not understand why she ignored me, but I left the room, I allowed her to sleep in peace as I walked towards the back door where I reached the woods. The woods were a very special place for me, this is where my father would do his rituals and hide out at. I embraced the woods, I softly walked into them and I shivered throughout my body.

I spotted something!

“This looks familiar, but from where?”

I picked up the two person pink candle splitted in half, but was on a random tree stump.

“Weird.” I whispered.

“Hello there, I am Lucianna.”

I choked up when I saw this person. She was a young girl, she looked no older than ten, and she resembled the girls from my fathers side. Dark, curly hair with taino facial features, and skin so brown it looked like the sun never gave her any mercy.

“Hi?” I didn’t really know what to say.

“Elvira, right?” She said with a warm smile, showing her high cheekbones.

“How did you know my name?”

“A lucky guess.” She replied.

“No, that’s not a definitive answer, I want a real explanation and what is this candle of two people that splitted in half?”

“She sighed. If you really want to know, then come,”

She led the way into the woods till we reached where my father passed away.

“Now what?”

“Just wait, be patient Elvira.”

She took out a golden flute and played it into music that sounded like a harmonic symphony. The tree in front of us turned slightly to the right and a rustic red, brass door was presented.

“Interesting.” I said.

She led me into the door and it was a room layered with pure waxed shelves, and candles engraved into the walls with seven statues lined up side-by-side.

“You saw these statues, they represented your fathers spiritual guides. They meant the world to him, just like you did.”

I glared into her eyes.

“You haven’t told me how you knew my name, or anything about that pink candle. I’ve waited long enough.”

“Hm, fine, I’ll tell you.”

“Finally!”

“Your father, Daniel was a very powerful brujo, he died from a sinister death from a powerful bruja who tricked him.”

My head shooked in disbelief.

“This is all wrong, all of this.”

“Elvira, she gave him an option, it was for you to be sacrificed or himself.”

I couldn’t believe how ashamed I felt. The guilt, the anger, and the taste of vengeance.

“Who did this, and where can I find them?”

“Her name is Marcella,” she whispered into my ear.”

“Why are you telling me this in my ear? Just say that demon's name out loud!”

“Ogun is here, the woods were your fathers with Elegua, but since his death, she owed it to Ogun as a gift.”

My mind spinned, my stomach turned. I was still in disbelief, I wondered how could this have happened if he was a powerful brujo? Couldn’t he have saw this coming?

“No, just no, I have to go Lucianna.” I left her in that room, I wanted this memory to be forgotten.

She returned to the woods, “I thought you should've known this. The pink candles and I know about the black dust that was on your mothers’ face. This meant she was near.” She called out.

My collar bone length, curly hair blew gently in the light breeze.

“What does she want with me?” I asked.

“I’ve told you enough for now. If you want to know more, you know where you’d find me.”

She played the same harmonic music that ringed my ears. The wooden tree rotated to the left and with a baby black widow spider jumping out, it became closed once more. Then I saw leaves that rose up forming colored flowers.

“What type of leaves are these?” I asked.

I reached out to gently glide my fingers against them, before I could, Lucianna freaked out.

“No, stay away from those!” She smacked my hand down before I touched the flowers.

“They’re just flowers, why can’t I..”

“If you touched any of them, you would’ve been dead right now. These were not ordinary Flowers Elvira, these were SpiderBlooms. They contain the wood's most poisonous blood, and it is not to be played with under any circumstances.”

“I, I’m sorry.” I said as I pulled my hand back.

They appeared out of nowhere, I wondered why? I looked around at the flowers, and even though Lucianna told me to stay away from them, I was stunned by its beauty. The colors were brilliant shades of coffee brown, pale white, and charcoal black. Its frosted tips were unreal, it was hard to believe that they were poisonous.

“Lucianna.” I said with me as I looked a bit down to see her full face.