Interpretation of 'Seoul' by BTS RM

Breakups are a different type of grief, even worse when it catches you by surprise. And way way worse when they tell you they've been contemplating the end for a significant portion of your time together- almost quarter of the time you've been together.

Sleepless nights and swollen eyes is simply a given. With that comes hours of scrolling through youtube, all sorts of social media and what nots trying desperate to find the answer to one question: 'How To Deal With A Breakup?'.

Realistically if you ask me, you can either let it sink in and feel the pain then move on, or brush it off until it resurfaces with no notice just to haunt you. Its been one day since i got broken up with and i find myself choosing the latter. I drown the emptiness with music always blasting through my headphones, 'Seoul' on loop.

Considering how people tend to think and think and never really stop thinking, heart break takes it to another level. You begin to look for meanings that never existed to begin with. Seoul tickled a part of my brain in a way almost suffocating but brought along clarity to my situation.

Here is my interpretation to Seoul by RM (prod HONNE) ,as someone who is one day into their breakup:

The song talks about the bustling busy city of South Korea, Seoul itself. I however understand it to be a person that you have known all your life. 

[Verse 1]

With the cold air of the dawn

I secretly open my eyes

This city's harmony, it's so familiar to me

The days of my youth seem so far away

And now it's full of buildings and cars

But this is my home now (Seoul, Seoul)

The first verse of the song talks about how your day begins and you are immediately reminded of the person you've grown so accustomed to. The bittersweet warmth of nostalgia contrasts with the cold present, yet your person is the only one who remains that you can still call home.

[Verse 2]

Why do you sound like 'soul'?

What kind of soul is it that you have?

What holds me back by your side like this?

I don't even have anything to reminisce about you

I'm so sick of you now

That same old ashy face of yours every day

No, no, I'm afraid of myself

'Cause I've already become a part of you

This verse uses a unique wordplay with 'soul' and 'Seoul' asking what about the person's soul has entrapped you that even though nothing pleasant remains, you can not seem to let go of the relationship. As the relationship moves forward, everything to look forward to disappears and life remains sickeningly mundane. Regardless, you can not seem to move on because "Who really am i if not yours?"

[Chorus]

If love and hate are the same words

I love you, Seoul

If love and hate are the same words

I hate you, Seoul 

The chorus is what really drew me in to the song. Hating someone who once was the mot important person in your life is not easy post breakup. Moreso, it is simply difficult to even think about. However, dealing with a breakup is tough and painting the person in a bad picture is what people tend to do. With that being said you hate them because you love them, because the situation itself is so bizarre and it seems like there is almost no other way to cope.

[Verse 3]

Buses with changing landscapes even when I'm sitting still

And similar buildings actually varying a little

Scent of life that could be disgusting or not

And the cold parks pretending to be warm

People who always have to wander

And the Han Rivers that bear too much Han

And the swings that can't look at the sky on their own

And the kids all grown up, and me who's a little late

This verse explains how little by little familiarity erodes no matter how long you have known the person. The relationship becomes heavily pretentious for the only reason being that it exists. The word Han meaning sorrow is also another word play. Although Han river being a famous dating spot it happens to be a popular suicide spot too. Hence, happiness and sorrow go hand in hand while struggling to understand which of the two it is at the moment. Everyone seems to have moved forward but you remain, motionless, caught in a cycle of dependency where the relationship become just a burdensome facade.

[Verse 4]

My friends often say they'll leave

I'm nodding but I can't smile

I so hate to admit it, but

I already love even your fumes and the nastiness

Love the fishy smell of Cheonggyecheon

Love the lonesomeness of Seonyudo

"It's a nice place to live if you have money"

Even that sigh of some taxi driver

I love y'all

I interpretated this slightly differently and maybe it is because i am highly influenced my by emotional state at the moment. The first line explains how all your friends tell you to move on and to find someone new, maybe even better. Regardless of what you tell them at the moment, grief doesn't leave your shoulders. It clings to your body and wraps itself around your neck making breathing difficult. Love suddenly seems stupid because everything you would have hated in any other person has somehow become something you love about your person. The affection for unpleasant aspects shows how love can transform one's perception. This emphasizes that however tough a relationship may be, it will remain to be your safe haven if the both parties put the right effort. But even if your person does not love you the same anymore, you'll keep loving them- just because.

[Bridge]

I'm leavin' you

I'm livin' you

The dichotomy of wanting to be with someone and leave them at the same time is highlighted. This is the most difficult choice you can make in a relationship. To leave is to surrender and move on. To live is to stay which requires a lot of hard work and commitment, which is not easy, but not impossible either. Circumstantially, either of the choices could lead to different outcomes, which just shows the complexity and the beautiful nature of love.

My coping mechanism involves writing, listening to music and talking to people who instead of simply validating my side of the story, they rather try to understand me on a deeper level. I feared that everything I would do would remind me of him and every word i write would begin and end with him. Maybe if that is what it takes to move on while being in peace, so be it. 

The world keeps spinning and with it you will experience new things and meet new people, you'll love and you'll learn. Like everyone says, breakups are never easy, but hey, this journey of grief is only a part of your capacity to love.