Stream of Consciousness
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?. Content Warning.
Introduction Around 1990 I was working on mainframe computers and everything was nailed down and worked perfectly. But it was all processed in batches and then we got desktops with GUIs (Graphical User Interfaces) and now we have handheld devices that can do anything except teleport us (yet).
By Mike Singleton đ Mikeydred 2 years ago in Confessions
You make me sick. Content Warning.
When people say I don't have the words to describe what's going on I rarely ever understand what they mean by that. I always have the words to describe the absolute abysmal situation I am currently in. Partly because of my own fruition and the rest because certain people in my life are completely inept. First, I'll start off with the "property management" that we do. Why on Earth do we manage so many units and not even get 2% of the cut? Why did this start out as a good deal for us and then turn into my waking nightmare eternally? How did I let myself become so obsessed with helping others get ahead that I completely lost myself in the tsunami... by the time I get out of this I will never be the same as a person.
By Tetrenius2 years ago in Confessions
Life of Invisibility. Content Warning.
No matter what I do what I try and no matter how positive and supportive I can be I still feel I get stabbed in the back and suffer and in turn I have to ask for help over and over in the end the only result there is; is me becoming invisible but it is understandable when it comes to your friends because who wouldnât be tired of me or you always asking for help, itâs draining the life out of you. I even tell myself I will only be there for my friends from hereon. I will never ask for a favor or ask for help. But here we go again, can you help me? I am so fed up asking for help and itâs only because I tried helping other people I myself get burned. And I look at my life, and ask myself what did I do to deserve this? Because I try and I do my best to make my friend's life easier but here we go again. Why me? From the gecko of life it hasnât been easy but I have fought the odds, and I tell myself I can be happy I do deserve this but over and over I get burned if itâs not my job itâs my personal life that gets hit hard. So what do you do when you are in a situation like that because if it wasnât for my dog I would take my life and I say that because thatâs how I feel, no matter how much I like to end it I know I would never do it because even if I get burned over and over I still have a lot to live for and so do you. Itâs important to express yourself because then it wonât get bottled up. I have always been invisible for as long as I can remember, for example I post for help and I get 800+ views and not a single response not even words of wisdom or advice and not even a snarky comment, on top of that with my videos barely any view like three views, seven the most and that just tells me over and over how invisible I am, and writing this article why am I doing it because I know I am not alone feeling like this but why keep writing I only have 6 views for 1 of 3 or 4 articles, why waste my time to write if I am invisible? Because I lived in this invisible bubble for so long that now I am absolutely terrified of success. If it makes people cold and stabbing in the back, why would I want success? I would want success because I deserve it, because you deserve it. So I write this in hopes of lees invisibility. Now lets go again and for the best life, having faith in life is everything, if invisible at least make your life visible to yourself and make yourself happy regardless of others while still being good to others. Things we can do to express ourselves instead of bottling it up; Write and write, meditate, and go for walks and hikes anything that get us to release the toxins in our body and itâs important to find our self awareness because once we have that we can navigate our body better if itâs to eat healthy or just being able to express ourselves. Because even if we are invisible to others we are not invisible to ourselves and that is very important to remember because why shouldnât you be happy, do what makes you smile and laugh and put it in your keepsake memory box so when we are sad we still have good memories that will beat the self doubt.
By Carolyna The Rambler2 years ago in Confessions
The Drama of 2023 Continues Until the Very End: Don't Let It Break You
Does anyone else feel that 2023 beat them up physically, emotionally, and spiritually? Yeah, me too. The end of 2023 has put me through the wringer from my ex reaching out to me to take a job and then changing my mind. So, let me address that first to get it out of the way.
By sara burdick2 years ago in Confessions
Mia amo, mia koro
When you think of love, you think of bumping into that just right stranger, eyes connecting with a spark, and all else seems to be just background noise. You think of kissing their lips, running tapered fingers through fluffy hair, and getting lost in emotional eyes.
By Jennisea Redfield2 years ago in Confessions
Love is a Many Splendored Thing
You have quality ears And a high-end nose. Grade A meat on your bones. I once worshipped whoever I was with. The writing above is an entry in one of my journals about the primary in my first polyamorous relationship. The anesthetizing effect of love on my bipolar brain is well-documented in my writing and therapistâs notes. Monogamous or polyamorous didnât matter to me at first. What mattered was that I had someone to call my own. I wanted to have a person like a possession. I wanted an object to admire, to use when convenient, and to ignore when it suited me. Of course, I never would have articulated my desires in this way. It sounded more like âsoul-matesâ or âtheyâre my everything.â It was romantic hyperbole. Love-bombing from a disordered brain. I would knock you off that pedestal as quickly as I built it for you. I wasnât properly medicated for my bipolar disorder until I was twenty-seven, so every relationship before that was marred by the whims of my dysfunctional mind.
By kp2 years ago in Confessions
Ensuring Inclusive Citizenship: Amit Shah's Commitment to Implement CAA Before 2024 Elections
In the realm of Indian politics, the issue of citizenship has been a topic of intense debate and controversy, particularly surrounding the Citizenship (Amendment) Act (CAA) passed in December 2019. Union Home Minister Amit Shah has recently reiterated the government's commitment to implementing the CAA before the 2024 Lok Sabha elections. This reaffirmation comes amidst ongoing discussions, protests, and misconceptions regarding the Act's provisions and implications.
By Avhishek Agarwal2 years ago in Confessions
Be my Valentine
In the celestial realm, where stars twinkled like diamonds in the vast expanse of the night sky, there existed two beings of immense power and beauty - an angel named Seraphina and a demon named Azazel. Seraphina, with her radiant wings of gold and eyes as blue as the clearest ocean, was the embodiment of purity and grace. Azazel, with his dark wings and piercing red eyes, possessed a seductive allure that captivated all who beheld him. Despite their inherent differences, they found themselves drawn to each other, their hearts entwined in a forbidden love.
By Varsha2 years ago in Confessions
11 days
I am so proud that I have made it 11 days no alcohol! Yesterday was so chaotic in my house I felt like I just couldn't catch a break. But I kept pushing through and keeping myself busy with little things. I finally made myself a therapy appoint, so that will be on the 19th of this month. I was actually on Instagram yesterday and an account I follow shared a website to search for therapist. I felt that it was meant to be so I went on there and searched for people in my city. The first person I saw on there caught my attention, and seemed perfect for my situation. She specializes in dealing with anxiety, depression, and past trauma so I am really hopeful that this will work out. I am going to be paying for it out of my own pocket which I know will be a little more pricey but I have to try something. I have tried going through my insurance which honestly was such a bad experience that I almost wrote off therapy all together. Then I tried better help, and I did actually find someone through them but she ended up leaving 4 months after I started. I feel blessed that I am even able to do things this way, as I know there are so many that can't. This is why I always want to share my story and let people know that if they ever need someone that I am here. I have sometimes felt so alone in life in general and throughout so many of life's journeys, and I don't want anyone to ever feel that way. Just know you're never alone.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Confessions
