Humanity
To Experience True Sex, I Had to Orgasm With a Stranger on My Husband's Bed
--- The burgundy and gold carpet shimmered on the shiny mahogany blades of the ceiling fan, from the center of its mirrored body darted two eyes back at me, eyes full of anger and anguish. They beckoned me to speak the truth, to tell him that I did not feel an inch of excitement at his touch.
By zesty zaria4 years ago in Confessions
A Month on Skid Road
In February 1972, I was in the fourth year towards a Commerce degree at McGill University in Montreal. I was struggling and my grades were poor (involvement with campus politics had become a huge distraction), so when my friend Tony asked if I wanted to take time off and go to California with him, I jumped at the chance. "You bet!" I cried.
By Marco den Ouden4 years ago in Confessions
What I realized once I deleted Facebook.
I made the transition from Myspace to Facebook in 2009 for one reason and one reason only, Farmtown. Just thinking back to those times is weird considering how much has changed since then. None of us knew then how rapidly social media would grow, and how it would change our lives forever.
By Kimmiekins44 years ago in Confessions
Why I'm not so Special
I am nothing special, maybe a little strange and demented, but I am human, meaning you and me and the billions of people on this planet all have a million things in common. We breathe air, are covered in a layer of hair, have nails and a conscious, friends, enemies, parents. We eat and drink, play and die, scream all our hurts into the void. But all of these things that we have in common are infinitesimal to all the differences that makes each and every one of us oh so special.
By Steph Ruff4 years ago in Confessions
The End
I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I have no doubt that what I'm about to do is the first good decision I have ever made. I have decided to end my own life. Morbid, is it not? Absurd. Outlandish. But alas, I am justified in my thoughts behind doing so. I've thought about it at length, and it truly is the best way to go about it. Doing so would save numerous people an awful lot of trouble and effort to attempt to make me feel better.
By Jessiipoo 4 years ago in Confessions
yellow state of being
Why are my days so grey. Every day I wake up and I try. I really try. Today is the day I will make a change. I will be optimistic. I will believe. Everything is happening for me. The day starts strong and slowly with time I shift from that beautiful warm yellow to the depressing obsolete grey. I feel defeated. I feel discouraged. I am broke. Where did my day turn grey, I begin to ponder? Will this feeling ever leave. I awakened the next morning and decided to succumb to the grey. I’m not trying today, I am just going to allow it. I’m tired of fighting this fight against myself. I sit in my bed and I wait. Time passes, tears flow, pain surfaces. I watch. I am the watcher of my own mind paralyzed in bed by the images that continue to surface. What happened to the little girl I once was. The one that believed in the world. The one that danced while magic flowed through her being. The one that was alive. As I grew older I was able to understand greater concepts. Instead of these concepts arising from within I was taught them. I was watered in an environment that was not mine. Drops of someone else's reality projected on me daily. Their belief systems instilled in me as to become the roots of my being. Dismantle. I will dismantle this plant that is not mine. I will tear the roots of fear, pain, and discouragement out of me. I will no longer be someone else’s plant but my own garden. I will flourish. I will water myself with optimism, encouragement, and self-care. This garden will be infinite. It reflects a state of abundance. Quickly I realize there is more to this grey. The foundation is becoming clear, however, there is another layer. The layer of present reality. How many external things are affecting my internal being? I wake up and I scroll. I see other people’s projections through my screen constantly. Some I know and some I do not. Am I aware enough to not allow their projections into my own mental garden? I quickly reflect and realize I was once a projector. Projecting my grey into everyone’s life unaware and unintentionally. You can only give what you are. These images we see are often someone else’s grey wrapped in a bow. What are you watering yourself with daily? The mind is everything. However, the mind can be so easily swayed. You can wake up in yellow and quickly convince yourself you are grey. Where does it begin? It may be in your root system, it may be in your present but you withhold the power to live life in any color. I chose a warm yellow. One that encompasses my body like sitting next to a fireplace in the middle of winter with snow trickling down. It can be felt by all; it is a world of its own. To live in yellow is a habit I taught myself just as easily as I was taught the grey. I sat in my solitude until yellow was my state of being. I did things that made my heart dance. I never settled to meet anyone's expectations of what they hoped I would be. I built that yellow and I listened to it. I was quiet and watched it for a long time. Waiting until it guided me to the next action. I respected it, I honored it and most importantly I trusted it. Doubt would arise but I found safety in my newly planted roots. My life would reflect the yellow state of being I vibrated in through a garden of infinite abundance.
By Kenley Lewis4 years ago in Confessions
Hibernation
To understand my need to hibernate, you need to know a bit about my mental state. And my physical state, for that matter. I'm 53. I'm fat. I have asthma. I'm anemic. I have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), which is exacerbated by the death of my husband five years ago; they call this "primary grief reaction: anxiety". I have a tendency toward seasonal affective disorder (SAD). I have irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) as a legacy of a giardia infection back in 1992 (did you know those little assholes can live up to 20 minutes in a chlorinated swimming pool?), and I'm prone to upper respiratory crud - sinusitis and the like. And my vitamin D levels are low even by Seattle standards.
By Jenn Kirkland4 years ago in Confessions
