Childhood
A secret for you, "Mother"
Dear "Mother", I never told you this before, but I think you are a horrible person. I think you have some significant mental health issues that you seriously need to consider having diagnosed and treated. Given what I know about you, and the things you did to me, I am confidant in saying that you have a personality disorder. This is a primary reason why I have not spoken to you in fifteen years, and why I will not speak to you. This explanation probably doesn't satisfy your questions, so let's dive right in.
By Holly4 years ago in Confessions
Messages From Heaven
Dear Mom, Hey Mom. I never told you this before, but... All the times you were there for me I never knew how I could be so lucky. To have a mom who is my best friend, who loves me for me. Who would never ask me to lose weight because your ugly? Most aren't that lucky mom but you gave me that. You gave me a role model. Someone I could look up to. I just wish, it were you the woman who gave me life. But in fact it was the woman who gave you life that was my true mother.
By Emily Curry (Rising Phoenix)4 years ago in Confessions
Hiding at Home
Hey Mom, Mother’s day has always been about celebrating all the good things you have done for our family. We try to select the best cards, pretty flowers, thoughtful gifts either on our own or split between us siblings. You were unable to have your own kids, but you chose each of us to open your home and heart to. Something I feel we can all agree was that it was probably one of the best things that could have happened to us.
By Jackie TL4 years ago in Confessions
Dear Mom
Mom, I’m terrified. Your breast cancer diagnosis has taken the air out of my lungs. Hot tears hug my eyes all day, waiting for me to burst into a puddle of despair. My chest is tight and full of static. I’m scared to lose you, but even worse, I’m terrified to see you go through this.
By Ember Gray4 years ago in Confessions
My Dearest Parents
Dear parents, Now, this isn't supposed to make you feel bad or worthless. At this stage it is just about what you have done to me, the things you have made me feel, and the way I am forced to act. At this stage, I do not want your forgiveness, I do not want your "we are so sorry" or your "we love you very much" because it never felt like you did.
By Charlie Herdman4 years ago in Confessions
It's Mine Now
Dear Mother, Your youngest daughter gets called to the school office one afternoon and sits down with some people from Child Services. In a panic, she denies what she has been whispering to me for weeks. “I’m not suicidal!” she insists, flushing with fear and embarrassment. Though the truth is probably written somewhere in the vivid blue of her frightened eyes, the officials accept the lies. Other officials come to the place you are squatting—like rats holed up together: multiple families in a tiny, filthy apartment—and interview the children in front of their abusers. The threat in the abuser’s eyes is enough to stop the children from speaking truth. “We have not been hit,” they deflect. “We are well-fed,” they exaggerate. “We are happy,” they outright lie.
By Nichole M. Willden4 years ago in Confessions
Dear, Mom...
May 3, 2022 Hey, Mom It's been a while. Well, actually I saw you three weeks ago, so maybe not that long. With Mother's Day around the corner I've been thinking about you a lot. Like what to write in your card or whether I should get you a necklace in gold, silver, or rose gold. But you know when I'm thinking so much about one thing to the point that I write a letter, it's never good.
By Zae Johnson4 years ago in Confessions
Hey mom
But I never understood why you would sleep your days away, Why I was constantly feeling a rejection filled with sorrow, guilt and sorry's without any explination as to why you would say and do the things you said and did to me, Why you would hide away in your journal, I didn't understand what you were running from or if you were even running at all but if you were I forgive you for the hurt you caused me on the way. I don't know, but I really thought you were going to be there for me. I understand that being a mom can be hard sometimes, but its like you forgot about me in the mess of trying to be yourself while learning to be a mom at the same time. A mess that you left behind for me to pick up. Im not calling you a bad mom, im just expressing the feelings I constantly have to hide out of fear of rejection and a bunch of " I never did that" statements, I'm so tired of feeling crazy. But I still love you and I always tell you that. I just won't be able to come around as often because im tired of the arguing. I just won't talk as much because I don't want misunderstandings. I won't cross your bounderies but that now means you can't cross mine. it's all become too much for me because all I ever did was try and continue to put in energy of fixing things between us, I have a baby boy to be strong for now and I can no longer put thought and energy into all the why's I mentioned to you in the beginning. I realized it has nothing to do with me but it has everything to do with you and your healing. So the guilt of not being a good enough daughter to you or for you vanished. I had to learn and grow without you when all I wanted to do was to grow with you. I wanted this close bond with you that I now just leave in Gods hands and in my dreams . You should know what it feels like .. you were once a daughter too. And although you try , I try, and we try I just learned to accept the fact that this is just who you are because of your trauma and maybe I should be a little easier on you. Take things a lot slower with you. I just get so upset because now that I am a mom, A first time mom at that I refuse to let the cycle of feeling rejected continue, I refuse to let the depression in our family stop me from being active in my baby boys life, I refuse. I just wish you did the same. I guess I also never told you these things because I don't want you to feel like you failed as a mom. You might have hurt me a lot , but we also did have good times. For at least one moment in my life when I look back, I remember you being happy and taking us out to the city with the greatest step-father to have ever come into my life. We used to go out to dinner, Enjoy going to events, Talk all night and laugh. I don't know what happened mom, but I miss that side of you. Mothers day is bittersweet for me because I wish things were different between us while also appreciating my motherhood with my very own baby. Its common and expected for majority to write sweet messages to their moms on mothersday ... but I can't fake my feelings anymore. I can't fake having a great relationship. For some of us mothers day isn't a good time. Some of us actually struggle to have relationships with our moms. Anyways, mom I never told you any of this ... but just know ... I'll always love you.
By Anjie Garcia4 years ago in Confessions
