Really Bro?

On the last day of middle school, my longtime crush walked up to me.

“If you have something to say to me, just say it.”

Talk about nerve-wracking. I did say “something”, but I still regret it to this day. Let me explain.

Middle school was just as awkward for me as it probably was for you. Being forced to make new friends while your hormones are playing ping pong is the worst, but Anetra made it a little better. Yes, that was the name of my middle school crush, the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen at that time. She had long hair, dimples, braces, and my heart, but of course, there was no way I’d ever tell her that.

Enter Bilal, my eventual best friend. We’d rode the bus home from school together for a full year, but were still just aquintances. One day, we were the last two people to be dropped home, and out of nowhere, we started having the most crucial conversation teenage boys can have.

“Who do you like?” he asked with a mischievous grin.

I wouldn’t normally give out such crucial information, but for some reason, at that moment I felt safe.

“Don’t tell anyone,” I muttered sheepishly, “but I like Anetra.”

“You do!?” Bilal shot back, eyes wide. “I like her too!”

You’d think the fact that we liked the same girl would’ve driven a wedge between Bilal and I, but instead it became the starting point of our friendship. That day we vowed one of us would end up with Anetra no matter what! We would help each other to make sure it happened.

Bilal’s attempt came first. He was a pretty popular guy in the realm that was our middle school. Athletic (the fastest guy in the entire school!), nice-looking, and funny; Bilal had everything you needed to thrive in such a barbaric environment.

But not quite enough for Anetra.

Word got out about Bilal’s interest, and Anetra planned to turn him down before we got on the bus departing home from school. There was no way I’d let my buddy go down like that. After school, I raced to the bus to intercept Bilal before he confessed his feelings! I managed to get there in time, and prepared him for the coming rejection, but I’m not sure it hurt any less. When we both got to the bus, Anetra was there, waiting for him.

She turned him down flat, and not in an nice way either. We entered the bus, Bilal licking his wounds, and I vowed in my head that would never be me.

But this story is about my embarrassing moment, right? I made it through all of the middle school with no one finding out about my huge crush on Anetra (only Bilal). Soon we’d be off to different high schools, and I’d take my secret to the grave...or so I thought. Bilal planned to keep his end of the promise we’d made almost a year ago, and decided that If I wasn’t going to make a move, he’d make one for me! During lunch on the last day, he and the entire table of boys that we normally sat with shouted over at Anetra’s table “John likes you!”

I wasn’t there for the full lunch period, but when I stuck my head in and saw what was happening I was shocked. How did these guys find out!? What was Bilal doing!? I soon realized this day could only conclude one way: I’d have to confront Anetra. As the school day ended, I desperately hoped Anetra had forgotten about me. It was the last day after all.

As I boarded the bus, peer pressure smacked me in the face.

“What are you going to do? Are you going to tell her?”

I sat quietly in my seat and faced forward, ignoring their endless taunts and questions. Anetra did the same. At this point, she absolutely knew I liked her but seemed intent on playing it cool. “This isn’t that bad,” I thought to myself, “Maybe I can-”

Anetra stood up came over to me. We locked eyes. I stopped breathing.

“If you have something to say to me, just say it.”

That must’ve been the first day a bus of middle schoolers was silent. Anetra sounded irritated but also genuinely curious. She wanted to hear me say it.

My cheeks were hot, and my chest was burning. I took a hard gulp, clenched my fist, and said,

“I have nothing to say to you.”

Anetra went back to her seat while the other bus riders chided me. Yup. I chickened out big time. When I tell the story today, people often ask “Why didn’t you just confess? Maybe she liked you back.” Or she could have crushed me just like she crushed Bilal!

It’s all in the past now, and looking back I appreciate Bilal for trying to help me. At that moment though all I could think was,

“Really bro?”