My life is a movie...

My life is a movie. The only problem is, it is currently ten years before the movie starts. I find myself thinking about how my life is the typical rom-com where the girl who is in her mid thrities who has never even had a boyfriend in her life meets the love of her life half way as the moive is over. They fall in love. They get into a big fight and break up. At the end they get back together and finally live the happily ever after the girl always dreamed of but never thought she would actualy be able to get. That is not what I want in life. I always hoped that I would be married by the time I was twenty but is starting to look more and more like the rom-com senerio is more likely to happen than I am to be married this year.

Do not get me wrong there is nothing wrong with finding the one at thirty something...it is just not what I thought I would have in my life. I always had these big dreams about my first date...first kiss...first boyfriend...I just always thought they would happen at sixteen. That is the magic number right? The age everything is supposed to change for you. Well, it did not for me. I am the exact same. Four years later and I am same me just with less hope and sparkle in my eyes because I just spent four years in somewhat disappointment, from stuff that I expected to happen as a kid watching tv shows and movies but just did not have it in the cards for me.

I spent my childhood dreaming of being sixteen, going on dates, kissing boys, and hanging out with friends till midnight. I never thought that I would have wild teenage years to look back on but I did think I would have something to look back on that was like me living my best life. That is definitely not the case. That never happened. At some point in my life I begin to wonder am I the problem? Is there something wrong with me?

I see all my friends getting boyfriends and I cannot help but wonder why not me? Where is my guy? Is he even out there? Does he even exist? Or am I just destined to be alone? Am I the girl the other girls look at and think "Hey atleast I do not have it as bad as her.''? Am I the girl every guy looks at and then quickly looks away, because I did not catch their eye the first time? Or the second? Or the third time? Or the fourth time? I am the girl that gets glanced over...the girl that gets looked at multiple times not because the guy wants to take another look at me but because I am just the friend...They always say it is rare for the girl to be stuck in the friend zone because if they would give the guy a chance he would take it...well I guess that is just another statistic that I do not fall into...

Like lets face it at this point I am the main character that in ten years I will look back on and wish I could have done stuff differently. I will look back and think how wild and free I could be back then and give anything to go back and relive this time in my life...but right now I just wish I could push the fastforward button...just to know everything turns out ok at least...