Paige Graffunder
Bio
Paige is a published author and a project professional in the Seattle area. They are focused on interpersonal interactions, poetry, and social commentary.
Find me on Medium.com
Find my books on Amazon.com and at Barnes and Noble.
Stories (108)
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Am I Listening Actively or Centering
It is so easy to trip over yourself when your entire life is ruled by one overpowering emotion: Anxiety. I, like many of my generation, suffer from an anxiety disorder, and while mine is slightly more intense than the average bear (Tourette's Syndrome) that doesn't mean that the things I experience are any different than anyone else suffering from other anxiety disorders, I just may experience them with different intensity.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Psyche
Five Things for Every Femme in STEM
Being a femme in a STEM field is a special kind of hell. You have to work twice as hard from the moment you decide to dedicate yourself to your field, in school, in social circles, the job hunt, and at work. I am sure that there will be some haters for this topic because there always are. There is always someone screaming that the gender divide has been bridged, but as a femme in STEM I can tell you, from first hand experience and statistical data that sexism is still very much alive, and in action every single day.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Viva
The Art of Releasing Expectation
How many times have we gone into a situation with an expectation, only to discover how very wrong we were? Walking into a job that you expect to be straight forward, and discovering it is very convoluted. Walking into a date with the expectation that it will go well, only to have it tank horribly. Expecting your sports team to win, your tax return to be high, and life in general to be something comprehensible. We have all heard the pessimist's argument, "I expect the worst, so when it doesn't happen I am pleasantly surprised. I don't think this is the right approach either. I want to explore what I mean when I say "expect nothing" and how this approach has helped me in my personal, and professional life.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Motivation
Remembering the Good
When I talk about my past relationships I usually end up talking about how they ended. Despite my attempts to always go forth in all things in kindness, most of my relationships have ended badly. So in talking about the ends only, I often am most frequently remembering the bad parts exclusively. I don't think that is a fair thing to do, either to myself, my audience, or the people I have loved. This maybe an exercise in futility, but it is a labor I am willing to complete for the sake of shedding some light on myself, my behaviors, and also to remember that despite how things ended each person that has come in and out of my life has been worthy of love, not just from me but from others as well.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Humans
The Curse of the Omnivert
For a long time, it was assumed that there were only two types of people. You were either an introvert or an extrovert. To the surprise of no one, like gender, it turns out our personality types are also a spectrum. With the addition of Ambivert and Omnivert as blurred middle grounds, it gives people like me (omnivert) a place that feels a little more familiar.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Humans
The Fundamental Shift in the Definition of Community
When I was a kid my community was my family. My siblings, parents, grandparents. My aunts and uncles, cousins, and all that extended outward. Less a family tree, and more two very intricate and complicated mandalas that touched in only one point. My parents were married only briefly, and I was the only child produced. Both families have complicated histories, dark secrets, and uproarious laughter that is contagious, no matter what mood you are in. I love my family, and in many ways they are still my community, but as I have gotten older, I have drifted away in search of independence, and a place to find myself, and I have ended up roughly 3500 miles away from everyone save a scattered few that I share kinship with. When I was little, if I had a problem, I reached out to these people for love and comfort. For aid and succor. And while they didn't always deliver in ways that I expected, I never was left alone in my struggles. There was always someone, at least one person who would demonstrate compassion, and help me, even when the rest of them thought I was being a brat.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Humans
An Open Letter to the Femmes Who Walked Through Fire
To All The Femmes Who Have Walked Through Fire, I suppose I should start this open letter with an explanation of what I mean when I say, "walked through fire." Any woman who has ever experienced trauma. This is for the femme identified people who have faced death of a loved one, sexual assault, abusive relationships, sexism in the work place, sexism in the home place, discrimination based on race, religion, gender, or orientation. This is a letter for all my female identified, or socialized people who have ever felt shame for existing, felt that they needed to be more than they are to be worthy, and less than they are to be loved. To all my femmes who have ever held their tongue in the face of a rape joke for fear of retaliation. Who have smiled at a street harasser, or who have lied to protect their abuser. I see you.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Viva
The Five Things Every Femme Should Own
When I originally developed this list in my early 20s, I had relegated it just to "women," but as the science points to gender and sex as a spectrum, I've figured "femme" would be the most inclusive. These are my personal opinions, and therefore, more like guidelines than actual rules.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Viva
Making Friends with Benefits Work
The concept of the nuclear family is a relatively new one, but it has taken roots in America in a way that is decidedly opposed to any other relationship dynamic. There has been a recent uptick in acceptance of polyamory, and other "nontraditional" relationship dynamics, which is good to see. However, I have noticed that the topic of friends with benefits is one of those things that most of us has done a time or two, but there really aren't many resources into making those types of arrangements sustainable, or as a replacement for our traditional sense of the relationship paradigm.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Humans
Love Not Returned
We've all been there—in love with someone who doesn't love us back, or not in the same way. There are tons of ways to handle that situation, some destructive, others not so much. This is a list of songs for when your mood is too much to contain, for when you're brimming with desire, and anxiety.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Beat
The Final Act
I think about my dad the most when I am driving. When the windows are down and the sun is up and the music is too loud. I think about him driving, and how my driving is very similar to his. I don’t weave in and out of traffic, I rarely speed more than a reasonable amount, and if the car is not a standard my left foot is almost always on the dashboard. I always roll the windows down, and never use the air conditioning. I always have music or an audio book on and I am forever doing something else. It used to be that I was smoking and looking at the map, but these days, in my old age, it has turned to drinking coffee and checking the GPS. Like him, I prefer a standard shift, but I live in a city of remarkable hills, so it is not always practical to do so. I think about him most when I am driving because in my 30 years with him, I spent most of that time in the car. We were always going somewhere. To the store, to the park, to the beach, to family’s houses, friend's houses. My dad was rarely idle, and when he was it was usually because there was traffic on his way to somewhere else.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Families
Why I Always Drop The F-Bomb while Conducting Phone Interviews
I have some non-standard practices when it comes to interviewing in general, but particularly when it comes to phone interviews, I get an incredible amount of feedback and almost all of it is incredibly positive, even if the candidate didn’t do well. I have four major components to a phone interview, no matter what the position, which I will lay out for you in this piece along with why I do them, and why they are effective.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Journal
