Paige Graffunder
Bio
Paige is a published author and a project professional in the Seattle area. They are focused on interpersonal interactions, poetry, and social commentary.
Find me on Medium.com
Find my books on Amazon.com and at Barnes and Noble.
Stories (108)
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Breaking Your Word
I have written before about how people don't quit bad jobs, they quit bad bosses. (If you are interested in reading that one, click here) But what makes a boss bad? I wrote a few points to watch out for, that may be indicative that your boss is abusing your good nature. So for all the employees out there reading this, use this as a guide to help make the decision if you need to give your boss the finger. If you are the boss, then take a hard look at yourself and if you find yourself doing these things, then perhaps it is time to reevaluate your management strategies.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Journal
All the Reasons I Didn't Hire You
This is not a definitive list, and this is also just how I personally, as an HR professional, feel about things. Perhaps other recruiters feel completely differently, and following this will ruin your chances of ever getting a job, but somehow I doubt it. The thing is, when you stare at resumes for a living, and talk to probably 100 candidates a week, you start to notice patterns. Not so much in the way people behave, but in your own prejudices on how you will perceive those behaviors. Just in the same way that I, as a person who suffers from sound sensitivity, will be more likely to be annoyed by a person who pops their gum, other small mundane habits wouldn't bother me if they didn't pop their gum. Maybe I am alone in this, but memes I have seen have led me to believe differently. Either way, I thought I would share them with you all, just in case we ever cross paths professionally, and you decide you want to work for me. (It is a pretty great place to work, and I hear their HR Director is really smart!)
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Journal
A Resolution More Attainable
We all like to think that we are going to be different people as soon as the year changes. It's almost romantic, the optimism that so many of us enter the changing of the year with. "New year, new me." is seen splashed across lots of Instagram posts, and gyms see an uptick in memberships. Programs like blue apron, and daily harvest see an uptick in customers, and everyone remembers the password to their My Fitness Pal log in. In addition, a lot of us set personal goals for things other than weight loss. Things like getting out of debt, and meeting that special someone, or continuing an existing relationship, maybe even taking that relationship to the next level. Some of us strive to be more mindful about ourselves, to meditate, to do yoga, to start therapy again. There are a million things we can resolve to do. But sometimes, in our optimism, we shoot ourselves in the foot, and render ourselves incapable of even starting. This is doubly true for people with certain mental illnesses like Bipolar Disorder and variations of Attention Deficit Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. That initial optimism can make us set unrealistic goals, that in the cold light of the morning on New Years Day seem so daunting, we just don't even try. So here are some tips on NOT overwhelming yourself, on setting realistic goals, and how to trick your brain into working for you instead of against you.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Motivation
Better Together
Whether your relationship is new or old, we always should be improving, making sure that we are getting what we put in, and putting in nothing but love. The longer a relationship lasts, or the easier it is in the beginning, the easier it is to forget that all relationships take work. Here are five things that I recommend doing in the New Year to make sure that your relationship is better in 2019 than it was in 2018.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Humans
I'd Really Rather You Didn't
'Tis the season once again for the most broke among us to become very awkward. It is one thing to not be able to afford gifts for your friends, or family, but it is quite another when you in turn feel terrible about accepting gifts because you know you have nothing to offer in return. This is one of the more awkward situations I have encountered in my life, and considering that my status quo is awkward in the extreme, that is saying something truly. What makes this situation even worse is when people in their attempt to be kind, get you something knowing full well that you can't reciprocate, and don't understand that you really wish they just wouldn't. So here are four things that I suggest to help alleviate this particular piece of social discomfort. It's the holidays anyway, there is bound to be plenty of other things to be uncomfortable about.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Lifehack
Physician, Heal Thy Self
I have kept a journal since I was old enough to know how to write. I have documented almost every moment of my whole life, and more importantly than that, I have recorded my feelings on the things that have happened to me. I don't do this because I think my life or thoughts are particularly note worthy, but because it is a coping mechanism.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Psyche
The Things That Keep Me Breathing
There is a Predator in my brain. Sometimes it is quiet, dormant, napping, but it is always there. If I am not on guard, if I am not constantly vigilant, always on the ready, when it wakes up, it may kill me, and all of those closest to me could suffer. I don't know when The Predator arrived, or if it was always there. I don't remember a time in my life without it. It has been my closest companion in this life. Sometimes I have fallen into its embrace and let it soothe me with its poison. Other times I have rallied against it, screaming and biting, clawing, my way out of its grasp only to realize, it is never really gone. Whether I accept or fight, The Predator does not care. It knows, in the end, it will win either way.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Psyche
A Love More Ordinary
We are over saturated with love stories where there are grand romantic gestures and epic sacrifices. I don't remember the last time I read a love story where love developed organically, slowly, over time, between friends, and instead of huge romantic gestures, and life and death sacrifices, talked about the safe feeling that comes from knowing you have someone who understands you. Actually let me amend that. There is one book that has done that, that I have read in the last few years. It was The Long Way To A Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers. Though not a "love story" specifically, there is a love that develops there organically through friendship and is not demonstrated through grand gestures but in simple sentences and support. The fact that it is queer love, makes it better for me of course.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Humans
A Love Less Toxic
With so many things in the world that we consume depicting unhealthy, and sometimes downright abusive relationships as the pinnacle of romance (looking at you 50 Shades of Gray) it is important to examine how we are loving, and why we love the people we do. Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, we love from a place of selfishness, and it is important to examine ourselves and break poor habits. This is undoubtedly true when it will also affect another person—we are rarely ever only responsible for ourselves.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Humans
Desperate for the Need to Rise
I live in Seattle. That means during the winter it will rain almost every day, and the sun doesn't rise until after 7 AM and sets at 4 PM. This is only November, so as the year progresses towards the solstice, the daylight hours will only get shorter. I work extremely long hours as well, so I am in darkness for two to four hours before the sun rises, and am often at work four to six hours after it sets. During the winter months, I live my life in the damp dark embrace of my city. I love it here and wouldn't trade even this for anywhere else in the world. But on days like today, weeks like this week, when sleep is a precious commodity I am not taking advantage of, and the worries of my mind press close, it is hard to be cheerful in the absence of the light. I am sure that there are others struggling similarly, and so I thought I would give you five things that help me stay afloat—when the world goes dark and the only constant is the rain.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Psyche
Farewell, Stan Lee
The multi-verse weeps today. A mind so full of wonder and ideas winked out. Stan Lee has died. No more cameos, no more surprise comic signings at tiny events. A lot of my heroes have died in recent years. Robin Williams, Alan Rickman, Prince, Carrie Fisher, Maya Angelou, Chester Bennington, Chris Cornell, the list seems endless. But this one, this one seems so much worse for me. It wasn't one role, one character, one moment. It was so many, so many characters that emboldened me and others to do good, be good, answer to an authority of morals not laws. To experience companionship. How many nights did I lay awake with a flashlight under the covers reading Thor? The Amazing Spiderman? Captain America? His characters faced choices and circumstances, that were macrocosms of our life. Captain America, rebelling against the Superhuman Registration Act. Professor X, unwilling to see the truth about his closest friend. Spiderman choosing to be selfish in a moment, and costing himself everything. These are big events, that when taken into the scope of a non-hero can be really relevant. Protesting in the streets opposing the treatment of migrants, choosing to remove yourself from a toxic friendship, thinking twice about acting out of spite.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Geeks
