Netavia Walters
Stories (3)
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I don’t.
I don’t have feelings for you. Somehow I managed to look at the message but I still have no reply. In what ways can I describe someone so unique to the core. I don’t have feelings for you. I don’t think about the way you kissed me or the small sweet touches, because I don’t have feelings for you. I managed to let you get in my head.Feeding me the story you wanted me to hear. Was my mask that concealed. Did I leave you to believing lust could somehow prevail ? I don’t have feelings for you and you’ve made yourself pretty clear. I’m not stupid love, I know it’s also twos involved in a game chess. This round is hard. I never wanted to put up this many bars. I had to cause if not I’m sure your laziness and uncooperative energy would’ve drove me insane. Missing that reassurance that just comes so naturally. I don’t have feelings for you. You made me lay in silence with my own thoughts and no clarification and within those moments you lost the bit of any special feeling I had for you. I thought I could finally get know you. But how could that be when we are on different pages of a story. Hand crafted by god. You and I were never meant to be. I don’t have feelings for you and I still see that message in my head. How can I tell this so called man that my heart was never in a jam. Never crossed for two. Only having one true man on my mind. You were the one that said that time can only tell us why. In a way it’s ashamed hearing you say I’ve made a mistake when really it’s just projection from your own insecurities. Blaming me for doing what it is you’ve asked me to be. To be so simple in the naturalist form, effortlessly. Except you have envisioned me being high in the clouds stuck between your nape and your back. Like a puppy dog. Or a child who’s lost their way. You fight my logic even though in ways we were on the same page. Can’t figure out why you kept me waiting for so long. When you want someone you give them your all. So tell me why would I have feelings for a man who can’t love me and my flaws. Who loves me effortlessly and consistently. I’m special and you knew that. You know our minds connected in a spiritual way. It’s like limbo is your favorite game. So I threw the pole away. Took my power back. No more wasting precious energy. I don’t have feelings for you and this time it’s about me. You’re not all to blame though and that’s why I’m glad it was not meant to be . I don’t regret it because my heart would have never been at ease. How could I love you whole heartly when your words are like a mirror staring back at me. Because maybe your the ones with the feelings and you’ve already lost me. I’m happy. Wasn’t that ALL you wanted me to be?
By Netavia Walters3 years ago in Poets
Another letter
Another letter. First of all, I do love you. I don’t know if you’re in another world but I’m standing right in front of you and it’s like reality has slipped your mind. Remember the past for a moment cause your still on good vibes. Don’t be delusional my love I held us together for so long… giving unconditionally and still willing to give to this day. I still have the gifts I bought you. From every time you ran. You started this. The wearing and tearing of my heart. The confusion of who you are. I know your name, and well I thought I knew your heart. Maybe I was lost in a dream as well. Fantasies and woes. You say you understand but yet you are angry with me for choosing me. I can’t love anyone if I don’t start with loving myself. I’ve always fallen through for you when you needed me the most. I’d even pop up back on you when you called yourself going ghost. 4 years later and you still got my head spinning. I just know our love story isn’t finished. I need you to know you hurt me. So many times I can’t tell if they were intentional or just a sign that we were never meant to be. I remember laying down at 2 am listening to your heartbeat. The low pitter-patter. Have you ever experienced the person you adore the most in the world while their sleeping in your arms? So blissfully and at ease. No doubts or worries.. just you .. and them and peace.
By Netavia Walters4 years ago in Poets
A letter to the boy I loved..
It's been a while since Iv felt your skin against mine. It's been a while since Iv seen that look in your eye. It's been a while since I have opened up. You know me I was like an open book. I was sucked in by the vibe, never really notice all the pain you kept inside. Over and over I just wanted you to let me in. Let me take care of you, I swear it's a win. I thought I was actually getting somewhere but it's like every wall I knocked down you were busy building a new one.
By Netavia Walters5 years ago in Humans
