Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist
Bio
I fell in love with speculative fiction and poetry many years ago, but I have precious little time to write any. Then, I went crazy and started a cult called metAlchemy, or meta alchemy. I revere energy of all brands, esp. good, kind chaos.
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aspirations of grandeur
i'm becoming more comfortable with the idea that i have a delusional disorder. in fact, it would do a great deal to explain why i have persistent delusions about my identity that go back for years. that, or because i married someone who believed everything my delusional thirteen-year-old self said back then as part of a folie à deux. see, my life is and always has been a wild ride, even when it isn't. come with me on a quick jaunt through the highlights.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist2 months ago in Confessions
metAlchemical Principles
before i begin, i want to explain why there are twelve principles of alchemy. the dozen is a sacred number, appearing over and over in history and art and even in science. i believe that the resonant frequency of carbon facilitates life by resonating energy, and each carbon atom has twelve subatomic particles (well, most of them; there is a carbon-13 isotope in nature, too).
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist2 months ago in Humans
Threadless Thread
In my recent piece, Name that Bean!, I mentioned being en fuego creatively and launching a series of Threadless collections on my shop, Prose and Puns. I would, of course, be remiss if I only gave you a rundown of the silly Beans and none of my other (not exactly better, just different) work! I currently have thirty-six designs available on Threadless and only nine are Beans. So, without further ado, let's get to the first and largest of the four other full collections.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist2 months ago in Journal
Name that Bean!
Before my mid-year meltdown, I was on fire creatively speaking. I launched several themed Art Storefront (otherwise known as Threadless) collections, ranging from the whimsical macabre to the politically charged. Among these is my Name that Bean collection which, though it still features a full array of home goods and accessories via Threadless, launched with another product arm.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist3 months ago in Journal
what i'll never get to say. Top Story - October 2025.
i never exaggerated. i have trauma about telling my truth and being called a liar so we're gonna start here. every. single. thing. i told you happened, happened. some happened this year, last year, earlier. i told you that, too. but it all happened the way i said it did.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist3 months ago in Confessions
confessions of a madwoman
for about three months, i forgot how to write. i couldn't draw or do much of anything creative but nothing terrified me on such an existential level as forgetting how to write. see, i had a condition called serotonin syndrome, an artificial build-up of the happiness chemical in my brain and it almost killed me. no joke, look it up. that particular side effect (of a cocktail of medications including a migraine preventative that was the last to be replaced) is a mortality risk and a half and i was grappling with the consequences of it at the same time as an identity crisis caused in part by the only viable solution to serotonin syndrome: serotonergic cessation. no serotonin aids for weeks. around that time i started having seizures whenever i tried to engage my imagination. it was hell. it still hurts a little to wrench the words from my subconscious to the surface and i'm twitching a bit because of it, but i'm afraid if i don't start writing again i'll never get back into the habit and this year has cost me so much already. i lost my mind, my career, my identity, my libido, possibly my marriage, definitely my sense of safety, and at least one extremely good friend whose loss i'm not allowed to grieve except at my therapist and buried in the lines of prose i scream into the void. i am profoundly alone and simultaneously surrounded by people who love me and it is the most surreal experience of my life. i'm in the middle of a full-blown PTSD resurgence, blending childhood and adult traumas together into a nightmarish hellscape that overlaps reality like a superimposed photograph all. the. time. and i'm having some kind of midlife crisis regarding my spirituality but lack of religious belief that led me to start a cult (which i will definitely be linking to when i finish writing this because shameless self promotion is the modus operandi). but in my defense the model is terribly unprofitable because the point is to crowd-source the epiphany to the masses, which means free access to all. the most important bits of the philosophy are completely free, from the playlist augury (which you can use to listen to the will of the universe once you tune it to your channel, so to speak) to the three mantras (which guide everyday decisions in the moment) to the twelve principles (which guide overall values and morals). they play off each other to create an implication of further values, but lack the strict methodical proscription of religious dogma. alchemy doesn't care how you get there, or even what you call it. all that matters is that you serve the equilibrium, the balance of the universe, the source of the energy, or your God by doing good things that adhere to the principles and live according to the mantras. if you don't want to use the playlist augury, you don't have to. be hyperpresent in your own body and do something that feels good while you think about who you are and what your place is in the world. mine is behind a screen, ranting like a crazy person (because I am a crazy person) about my nervous breakdown, my new cult, my impending bankruptcy, my new name, my rock bottom, my activist art that no one buys (but they should, since i don't even get a piece of some of them, so there will be another link here), my marriage, my mother... pretty much anything. so when i forgot how to write, i've never been so scared of anything in my life.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist3 months ago in Confessions
so i started the world's worst cult
i really did start the world's least lucrative cult. i gave the real secret techniques away on my patreon already. there are three practical exercises: the playlist augury technique, the three mantras, the twelve principles. the "that chick is crazy crazy" techno-psycho-babble bits are optional extras, and only one of them costs anything to read. the secret recipes to fine-tune your psyche with your favorite music, without having to change religions or start one if you are a non-believer? they're coming to patreon this weekend for $1/each (of three).
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist3 months ago in Confessions
Meet Maia Gadwall: My Alter Ego. Content Warning.
I needed time and space to decide who I want to be on the record, and it’s been a wild ride. First, you won’t find me on Meta or X these days. I left the social media broligarchy behind in favor of Discord and Bluesky — ah, decentralized and de-Nazified socialization, like Myspace Tom used to make. Enter my nom de guerre: Maia Gadwall.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist7 months ago in The Swamp
An Open Letter to White Americans with Trump Voter Remorse or Protest Voter Persecution Syndrome. Content Warning.
As you can see from my neon glow in the headshot above, I am a white person in all ways that matter. It is, therefore, my responsibility to call attention to some… fallacious efforts to foster camaraderie among those seeking to “join the other side” after voting for Trump or failing to vote against him. There are far too many mayo sapiens expecting a sudden epiphany to the existence of other people to absolve their sins.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist9 months ago in The Swamp
