L.C. Schäfer
Bio
Book babies on Kindle Unlimited:
Summer Leaves (grab it while it's gorgeous)
Never so naked as I am on a page
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I'm not a writer! I've just had too much coffee!
Sometimes writes under S.E.Holz
Achievements (13)
Stories (925)
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Thou Shalt Not Be Rude to Wait Staff
The queue stretches, and stretches, and stretches. Our hero cannot bear to look up at it. He couldn't see the end of it if he did, and not just because the sinking sun would be glinting in his eyes. It stretches down the hillside and winds out of sight.
By L.C. Schäfer8 months ago in Fiction
My Writing Buddy
I thought you might all like to admire my writing buddy. How is she so beautiful, though 😍 She's beautiful 😻 ❤️ Her name is Greebo She's named after one of my favourite literary characters She's 19yo She wandered off about a year ago, and I thought I'd lost her forever. I was contacting vets all over town, asking if she'd been brought in. Only for her to scream on the doorstep at one in the morning, bull her way past me and tuck in to a late supper as if she hadn't eaten for a week. (She was missing for less than a day.) She's naughty! We have to lock her in another room if we are eating steak because she will swipe it right off your fork. But we never tell her off because (1) and (4) and (5) She's become a diva and is very particular about what she will eat, and how long she can tolerate it being in her bowl before she wants her butler to refresh it for her. Somehow, this is adorable, not annoying If she doesn't SEE you put it in her bowl, like just now, she will assume this is Old Food, and won't eat it. She snores, she eats loudly & she's very chatty (See 9) She prefers to be indoors, unless I'm going outside. Then she follows me and keeps me company, then follows me back in. She loves cuddles. She's the same colour as my cushion. I've nearly sat on her many times. She likes tea. Drink up fast or she'll get her head or her paw in there, whatever fits. She still plays with elastic bands and bottle caps like a kitten. She sleeps on my feet while I'm writing. I can't move her because, look, she's just so comfy 😍 She also steals my seat which is a problem because (see 14) but (see 18) She reaches out and puts a paw on me while she's sleeping. She's sunbathing in bars of sunlight on the rug right now Supermarket own brand food is *okay*, but branded is *better*. Obv...iously. Pouches over tins, or don't even waste her time. Tinned fish is 😋 😋 Mackerel is a big fav, and she also likes sardines. Salmon is another hit, but it can't be the tinned stuff. If we have it for dinner, we have to save her some. People food is also 😋😋 Ham, watermelon, and cucumber do not last long around her. She mugs my son for his cereal bowl in the mornings, and if we ever have yoghurt or ice cream, she also tries to steal that. I've tried telling her she's lactose intolerant, and told me she's intolerant of my bullshit, and to just hand over the cream cheese. People food is actually her food, sorry, my mistake. She eats the way Rimmer has sex. (Tiny portions but so many courses!) It amounts to 4 or 5 pouches a day, which is quite a lot for her size (she has never been very big). She has a little kink in the end of her tail. It's always been there. She's underweight despite eating a lot, so she has a vet appointment booked to check her thyroid. Since she's getting on a bit, she's not as good at grooming herself as she used to be. I spend more time grooming her to make up for it. She approves. She is mentioned in the About section of my book. Her toe beans are pink and prod-able.
By L.C. Schäfer8 months ago in Petlife
The Kelpie (Part Six)
The story starts here Part five Part Six - My Self When I smashed the kitchen window, a shard of glass stuck in my bandaged hand. It hurt. Red blossomed on the dressing. I was getting quite good at cursing at this point. I hauled my bag out after me, and pelted up the drive and down the road to the beach.
By L.C. SchäferExclusive • 8 months ago
OPEN ALL HOURS
Children have a rangy, wired look about them. They eat junk, but they never get enough sleep, so it balances out. Sort of. Caffeine is romanticised to a hellish degree. People used to joke they couldn't live without it. Now, large triple-strength espressos are handed to pre-schoolers, no matter what time of day or night they arrive for classes. Nobody laughs.
By L.C. Schäfer8 months ago in Fiction
Mint Cleanse
Once upon a time, everybody wanted to be thin. People spent a fortune on getting clean, and smelling great. Now look at them. They're thin, alright. Grubby they may be, but do they ever smell fresh. That sunken-cheeked look really gives you big eyes as well.
By L.C. Schäfer8 months ago in Fiction
Battling the Tide
Another body drifted past, this one small enough to be a child. Em turned her face away from it. The railing brought no respite after all. It was rough under her palms, and the sea spray cold and fresh on her face. She had leaned into it for only a moment, to gather herself. Focusing on the feel of splintery, hastily-hewn wood against her hands helped her to ground herself. Gulping stinging lungfuls of the salty air was all that was stopping the waves of nausea that threatened to engulf her.
By L.C. Schäfer9 months ago in Fiction
