Kimmiekins4
Bio
Here to share my thoughts, hopes, and dreams. Telling stories of my navigation through anxiety, depression and alcohol use. I am also working on my first novel, and want to share it on here with all of you as well!
Stories (75)
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Leaving my First Apartment
Change is enviable, but something I just don't do well with. In this economy it's almost impossible to stay living on your own, and I probably shouldn't have stayed as long as I did, but live and learn I guess. I was so proud that for the first time in my life I had something that I could call my own. Something that no one but myself could take away from me. For awhile living on my own was great. After awhile though my once proud accomplishment became a place of darkness and depression.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Journal
The After Series
I know what everyone must be thinking, how did a modern day love story change your life? Their are so many classic novels, self help books, and everything in-between. I've read many books in my life and there have been many that have changed me in different ways. This series however changed me in a way I never would have expected, and series I never knew I needed. To back track I actually heard about this series long before it was made into movies or available in book stores. It was back during the One Direction craze and a friend of mine had told me about this fan fiction on Wattpad based on Harry Styles. I tried reading it, but for whatever reason at the time I couldn't quite get into it.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in BookClub
A Letter to my Twin Flame
To the one I never saw coming, You came crashing in my life so unexpectedly at a time I needed someone most. It would turn out you needed me too, and without realizing it we began guiding each other out of a darkness we'd both been trapped in for so long. Before you I always believed in the spiritual world, tarot reading's etc. But I never looked into twin flames and the meaning behind it until you. From the moment I first seen you I knew there was something different about you, something so familiar I to this day can't explain it. It wasn't until we got to know each other I realized there was so much more to this connection than I could ever grasp.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Confessions
Tomorrow is a New Day
I remember the first time I ever watched the Anne of Green Gable Series. Even as a little girl I related to Anne so much. She loved to read, she was a dreamer, and she just looked at the world from a different perspective much like myself. As I've grown older I have re-watched the series and have found that I relate to it even more as an adult. The above quote is probably one of my favorites from the books/series. Especially now with everything I am going through it reminds me that tomorrow is always a fresh start regardless of the mistakes today.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Journal
Losing my sight
It's okay to not be okay, even though it's hard to admit that you aren't. It's hard for me to look and admit just how long I truly have not been okay, and how it's destroyed not only me but so many people closest to me. As of lately my mental health seems to be continue to spiral out of control. Any good days I do have are followed by extremely bad ones, and often times me lashing out at those closest to me. As usual my drinking has gotten out of control, that's how I knew things were getting bad again. Alcohol is like a toxic relationship for me I know its not good for me but it always comes back around as if stating things will be different this time. But alas they are not, but I seem to fall for the feeling of temporary feeling numb and my racing thoughts to be shut off. Even though I know for the next at least 3 days I'll be feeling worse, and sending me further into a depression.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Journal
Save Me
One year ago today April 11th 2022 I sat down at this very computer on this very website and wrote "Alcohol my Old Friend". I didn't know it then but only 4 days later my whole world was going to get turned upside down. It will go down in my history as the best, worst, craziest experience of my life. Even though there are memories I wish I could forget and times I wish this never happened, I know now it all happened for a reason. Everything was all divinely guided so I could meet him, and for him to catapult me into everything I've ever avoided. He made me face the person I fear most, myself.
By Kimmiekins43 years ago in Confessions
Alcohol my Old “Friend"
The first post I ever made on Vocal in April of 2021, documenting my first attempt at getting sober for what felt like the millionth time. It's titled "55 days Sober". I go into depth about my struggle with Anxiety and Depression and how I drank more to combat the symptoms of both conditions. About 5 days after posting I had my first drink after 2 months of being sober. I only drank that one drink, so I thought, "I finally have control over my drinking, I don't have a problem like I thought." That was the biggest lie I ever told myself. This was the beginning of my darkest, but most meaningful setback to date.
By Kimmiekins44 years ago in Confessions
I unfollowed over 200 Influencers/Celebrities on Instagram
Before I get started on why I decided to unfollow these celebrities and influencers I wanted to take a moment to link my story What I realized when I deleted Facebook. It was such an eye opening experience for me. Its been over 7 months since I got rid of facebook and I have still not looked back. I don't miss the toxicity of that platform, and anyone that knows me personally I keep in contact with via texts and phone calls. I'm not suggesting this is for everyone, but what I can say is if you're feeling drained or irritable try limiting your use and see what happens.
By Kimmiekins44 years ago in Confessions
Revising Ghost of You
**Revison Summary** Scarlett hasn't been lucky in love to say the least, but being single in 2021 was a nightmare. With the rise of dating apps and social media it made finding love was nearly impossible. One night after getting her millionth disgusting message on a dating app she vowed to be single forever. When she fell asleep she had a dream about the last time she saw Trevor Ramirez, the person she believed was the love of her life. It had been 14 years since they last saw each other, things hadn't ended on good terms. After waking up from the dream Scarlett took a trip down memory lane of her and Trevors infamous love story. The question remained, would they ever reunite?
By Kimmiekins44 years ago in Fiction
The trip that changed my life.
"Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed, it means damage no longer has control over our lives." A year ago today I flew to Hawaii with two of my best friends, for what I thought was going to be an epic girls trip. What I didn't know was, it would be the trip that launched a healing journey I needed for many years. While at the time I viewed many of the events as hurtful, reflecting on them one year later I realize that it all happened for a reason.
By Kimmiekins44 years ago in Motivation
