Kay
Bio
Hey guys! I'm a 19 year old mom who has discovered the love for writing about what I've been through during my life!
Stories (7)
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How tik tok pissed me off
As soon as I found out I was pregnant I started making tik tok videos about it. I wanted to use it to document my pregnancy. I got all the way up to 5 months pregnant and then tik tok took my page away from me. I ended up getting banned for "breaking" too many guideline rules. Here's the thing though they had only ever taken ONE video down for breaking the rules. Also most people only get banned for a couple days when this happens. THEY TOOK MY WHOLE PAGE AWAY. This really upset me because I had 2,000 follows who were watching me grow through my pregnancy. On top of that it happened 3 days before my big gender reveal that I had promised I would go live for everyone to be able to see. I quickly emailed tik tok asking what happened and if I could get my page back. All they told me was I broke too many rules and got my page taken away. So I messaged back and asked if I was able to at least get the videos in my drafts sent to me or if I could have a certain amount of time I could log in and save them. This was my 1st pregnancy so those videos meant a lot to me. They messaged back and told me they understand how important the videos are but there was nothing they could do. This meant all 30 plus drafts I had were down the drain and I would never be able to get them back. It really upset me but I wasn't going to let that stop me from making another page. Only problem was tik tok started messing with me again. When I first made the new page I was making videos about how I got banned and how it made me mad. Well those videos got around 1,000 views. Pretty good to not have any followers yet but then when I start to get some followers I started posting about my pregnancy again. Well then all of the sudden I'm shadow banned and only getting around 100 views. The only reason I had so many followers on my other page was because of the pregnancy content I was posting so I realized I probably was just out of luck since they wouldn't put my videos on the for you page. Again I was furious because my dream was to become a mommy influencer to be able to make money while being able to stay home with my son. I wanted to reach 10k before I had him to make this dream come true but instead that didn't happen. Finally once I had him I started getting on the for you page but it takes a while to get your following up. So now I'm two months postpartum and sitting at 2000 followers. I'm very grateful for those who follow me and I'm glad I'm getting closer to my dream but going back to work and not being home with him all the time has been hard on me. I didn't realize having a baby and then being home with him 6 weeks straight would make it so hard to go to work. All I can say is this has made me work so much harder at achieving my goal! I will continue everyday to get there because being able to stay home with him will not only be good for him because I can work with him everyday but will also allow me to work on my own mental health in order to be the best mom I can be!
By Kay4 years ago in Motivation
The unlucky daughter
As a new mother I can't seem to understand why my mother treated me the way she did. Maybe it's because my son isn't old enough for me to completely get it. I honestly can't remember much of my childhood other than all the horrible things my mother did to me. As far as I can tell though she loved me unconditionally when I was younger. Once I hit my teenage years though that love seemed to disappear in my eyes. We would fight almost everyday sometimes it would even get physical. Once when I was 16 we got into an altercation and I tried to leave but wasn't allowed to my dad took my car keys as I tried to leave. I figured the next best thing to do was call the police. Once they arrived they talked to all three of us. My mother ended up pressing charges on me! I still to this day don't understand how she could do that to me when she always talked about needing a clean record to get a good job and then she was the one to make me have one. Luckily they told me if I follow the rules of my probation the charges would be dropped. Here was the problem in that compromise though. My mom was allowed to make the rules of my probation along with a few the cops gave me. This made me feel like I now had to walk on egg shells around my mother just to make sure she didn't tell my PO I was breaking the rules. I couldn't wait for it to be over. Living like that was the hardest thing I thought I'd ever have to do but then fast forward a couple years and it got worse. Once I turned 18 I thought things would change. I mean in my eyes I was an adult right? Well I was wrong. Not only was I still not allowed to wear what I wanted to I was still treated like a child! I still had to be home by 10 o'clock, I wasn't allowed to go out of town, clothes I bought with my own money that she didn't approve of she threw in the trash and she even would tell me who I could and couldn't date. Now yes to some people this may not seem that bad but as a new "adult" how am I supposed to prepare my self for the real world if she didn't let me. I got to the point I felt like she was holding me back. I was offered a promotion at my job that I couldn't take because she wouldn't allow me to work later in order to get it. Anytime I tried wearing something that I felt confident in she would basically slut shame me and call me names which made me start to lose my self confidence. I couldn't even experience a real relationship because if she didn't like the guy I was dating I was barely allowed to see him without sneaking around. Finally I got to the point I was ready to just leave that house. Unfortunately for me my plans had a rude awakening. I found someone who was going to let me move in with them so I started to get my own things that I was going to need to be out in the world on my own. I started by getting myself a new phone. I had to get a new one because she had my current one connect to her iPad and received all my texts and would get my phone call list sent to her with the phone bill. I was able to hide it from her for a few days but then she ended up finding it and she was not happy. We got into an argument and I stormed out. I went to a friends house and later came back to get ready for work. We had a code lock instead of a key and when I got home she had changed the code. No one was home so I was locked out. I called my dad to tell him what was going on and then called out of work. My dad told me to come back later when she should be back home. A few hours later I came back and knocked on the door. She told me I had 5 minutes to get my things and I wasn't allowed back. I tried putting my things in my bags and she walked in dumped everything out and said those bags belong to her and I wasn't allowed to have them. Then she went and got trash bags. She told me if I want to live like trash my things could go in trash bags. I barely got my things in bags before I went downstairs to get my clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer. She processed to come down there and tell me she said five minutes and she meant it. I told her my clothes needed to dry and she said she didn't care. She then takes my clothes out of the dryer and throws them in a trash bag. As I'm struggling to take the bag upstairs I see her start throwing the other bags outside in the yard and she tells me to get out. I tried to go and get more things but she wouldn't let me. I ended up leaving that night with only a third of my things. I called the person I had planned to move in with anyways and they then told me it wasn't going to work. That's when I realized I had no where to go. For the next few weeks I bounced around from place to place basically living out of my car so I didn't have to bring everything in just to go to another place the next day. After those few weeks my aunt finds out I was thrown out on the street and invited me to live with her. Once my mom found out about this she said awful things to my aunt even though that was her own sister! I ended up living with my aunt from October to February the following year. I then got an apartment with my boyfriend. My mom found out and finally after 5 months let me come get the rest of my things. Fast forward a few months we found out we were pregnant. I ended up finally deciding to tell my mom only because it would be her first grandchild! She answered me a few days later and told me I was throwing my life away. I never answered her because I wanted a baby and I was ready to be a mom. A few months later she texts me again saying I'm going to be a terrible mother and if I don't get off the drugs I take I will be responsible for my child having birth defects. I have never done drugs in my life but she always assumed I did because she thought the people I hung around were on them. They weren't either! Again I didn't answer because it wasn't worth my time. Finally she texts me a third time when I get to my third trimester telling me she knows I will love my baby more than anything in the world and some more nice things. I still never answered her because I could tell she was just saying those things to finally get an answer but that doesn't change the other things she said to me. Ever since that day she hasn't spoke to me or texted me. My baby is now almost three months old and she hasn't even asked to meet him. Part of me is okay with that because I don't want the toxic life style around him but the other part wishes he got to meet his grandma at least once. What would you do in my situation?
By Kay4 years ago in Confessions
