It took me 19 years to find my hero

Almost my whole life I grew up in a toxic household. Once I turned 5 years old all my parents did was argue. Since I was still little they tried to do it secretly but I knew what was going on. Trying to keep it a secret didn't last long though. As I got older I ended up always being brought into the arguments and was forced to basically take sides. I was closer with my mom at the time so I usually always took her side even if she was in the wrong. Then about a month after a turned 17 my dad had finally had enough. I came home one night from work and he was just gone. I barely ever saw him after that. Here's the thing though now two years later I understand and I don't blame him for what he did. After he left I started to realize what all he was truly dealing with because then I started having to deal with it. This pushed a really big wedge between my mom and I. I got to a point where I felt no one was ever going to love me because my own family didn't even love me. Granite they probably still did but in my eyes they didn't because my dad left and barely saw me anymore and my mom always seemed to take her anger out on me so for the longest time I thought I was going to grow up and die alone. All that changed when I went on a tinder date and it changed my life. Yes you heard correctly I found my soulmate off of tinder. We started moving things kind of quickly but I wouldn't change it for anything because it has made me the better person I am today. We got our 1st apartment after 4 months of being together and then we ended up pregnant 5 days after moving in. During my pregnancy I got really bad depression to where they wanted to put me on medication after I gave birth. I'm not on medication now and do you want to know why? The moment my son came out and I held him in my arms all those feelings went away. That was how I knew my son was my true hero. People say I'm too young to have him and yes I am young but I knew what I was doing and I don't regret a thing. My son saved me and he will continue to save me. The endless love and affection that I craved growing up he gives me or the fact that I know he will never leave me. Now I know I can say the same thing about my boyfriend because I know we will be together forever. It just feels so different when that love comes from someone you created. Do you guys know the saying "if a mother has a daughter for their first child they needed to mature and if they have a son they needed to know the true meaning of love." Well I'm here to tell you I'm starting to believe that saying is true because yes being a mother is hard but I know all my moms would agree with me that there is no better feeling than being cuddled up with your kids knowing they will love you forever. That is why as of November 12, 2021 6:07 pm I was saved by my hero and I can't wait to see in the next few years how he continues to keep saving me.