Everyday Junglist
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About me. You know how everyone says to be a successful writer you should focus in one or two areas. I continue to prove them correct.
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From Intelligent Machines to Dead Chickens Laying Eggs
Yesterday I heard a disturbing story from my wife about an incident at her workplace. She had overheard an argument in the lunchroom among six young technicians employed at the same business as herself. That business happens to be in the biotech industry, pharmaceutical drug development specifically, and all of these techs were college graduates with degrees in biology and chemistry from prestigious universities. The argument they were having was about the causes of the current scarcity of eggs and why egg prices were so high as a result of the impacts of avian influenza. Three of the technicians had taken the position, with total seriousness, they were NOT joking, that they did not see how avian influenza and the killing/death of chickens would cause egg prices to rise because dead chickens could still lay eggs. Let me say that again to make sure you did not misunderstand because when you first read it your subconscious may have revolted, and, in order to prevent damage to specific areas of the brain important for reasoning, logic, and rational thought, briefly shut down your conscious awareness of it, or wiped your memory of it within nanoseconds of seeing it, preventing your from actually comprehending it. So, let me repeat that, these three college educated (degrees in biology) technicians were arguing in all seriousness that dead chickens can and do still lay eggs. That dead chickens are capable of hatching live offspring. They were NOT joking, they 100% truly believed this to be true. The three techs arguing against this insanity apparently were not totally sure of themselves on this point either.
By Everyday Junglist11 months ago in Humans
Leader of Bloodless Coup Demands to Know Why Floor is Covered in Blood
Would be leader of a bloodless coup against the editorial staff at area newspaper the Local Examiner, Tim Stephens, demanded to know why the floor of the newsroom was covered in blood when he arrived to work Monday morning after his weekend off. Mr. Stephens, who is the leader of the Examiner's op-ed staff which includes himself plus two full time and one part time writer, pressed his staff for details of the blood soaked newsroom at their 9am Monday morning staff meeting. He reminded them all that they had each agreed to follow his plan for an upcoming coup against the paper's editors, and that a cornerstone of that plan was that it would be bloodless. Jane Mollerson, the most senior member of his team spoke first saying "Sorry Tim. We must have misunderstood you or did not catch the part about how it was supposed to be bloodless. Myself, Jimbo (writer Jimmie Smith), and the Marinator (intern Mary Lamb), decided to move ahead with the plan first thing this morning. First order of business was to line up the entire editorial staff, blindfold them, then shoot them each in the head one by one execution style as we read out loud the text of our new manifesto for the Examiner. Yes, it certainly made a bloody mess, but it definitely got our point across and we now control the newspaper at all levels. Other than the clean up job still needed, I'd say overall it was a big success. No fuss, no muss." Tim thanked Jane, Jimbo, and Mary for their service the past two years then turned and walked out of the newsroom head down, before heading to the local police station to turn himself in.
By Everyday Junglist11 months ago in Poets
Expatrianas Histories - The Child of the Goddess
"You know mortal, I have a half human daughter." Baj was stunned into silence by this revelation. After close to five years of forced servitude, rarely did anything the Goddess say surprise him. By the end of his first year, he had come to the realization that she was basically crazy, or at least that was how she appeared from a mortal's limited perspective. He had no idea what the other Gods and Goddesses thought of her, nor did he particularly care to find out. The things she said were a mixture of facts, opinions, truths, partial truths, half-truths, lies, and bald-faced lies. Of course, Elyria always said that "Gods and Goddesses don't have opinions, because once we say something, it becomes a fact." However, Baj knew better and many of the Goddesses’ opinions’ were wildly inaccurate or patently false. Never had the Goddess mentioned a thing about any offspring, let alone the fact that apparently her daughter was half mortal. That meant that the Goddess had been impregnated by a mortal, a thing Baj did not even know was possible. Eventually he regained his composure enough, cleared his throat loudly once, then spoke "I was not aware Goddess, and of course I have many questions. May I ask some?" Having to seek permission to ask her questions irked him to no end, but he knew better than to just begin to fire them off without that formality. The Goddesses' short temper was legendary, and asking a question she viewed as impertinent was a fast track to being totally ignored in the best case, or reprimanded and punished severely in the worst. He had felt the sting of Elyria's mental punishments too many times and had no desire to experience that pain again for what he viewed as a minor if irritating annoyance. The Goddess smiled and replied "It appears my many lessons in politeness may have finally begun to sunk in. Even one with a skull as thick as yours may learn it seems." Baj grimaced at the insult but knew better than to respond in kind. The Goddess' smile widened as she had seen the desire in his eyes to strike back and was pleased that he had managed to restrain himself for once. "You may ask your questions mortal." Baj took his time, considered the many questions he wanted to ask, weighed each against the level of insult or offense they might cause the Goddess, then mentally arranged them in order of least to most offensive. He rarely had the opportunity to ask questions of the Goddess, and he did not want to waste this chance to gain valuable intelligence by saying something stupid right off the bat and ending up with nothing but a burning backside or two-day long headache for his troubles. Finally, after much thought he spoke "What is her name Goddess?" "Her given name is Kaos, but the mortals with whom she spends most of her time refer to her as Stormbringer. Perhaps you have heard her spoken of in your many travels?" Baj's mind raced as he searched his memory for anything associated with that name. He felt a twinge of something just on the edge of his mind but could not place it. The name was familiar, and he was sure he had heard it, but could not recall the details or even the context and so simply replied "No Goddess, I have not." She sensed he was shading the truth but not lying outright. If he had lied, she would have known. One of the things her bond with the human gave her was the ability to see the truth and falsity of his statements. Unfortunately, humans traded in so many half-truths and half-lies that this power was limited to outright lies or patently false misrepresentations, and, in the five years she had known him, the human Baj had only lied to her twice. This stood in great contrast to every other mortal she had ever known for whom speaking the truth seemed to be as difficult as speaking a foreign language. In this case she only knew that he had likely heard the name but possibly forgotten it or was not entirely sure about it. "That is surprising. She is quite well known among the humans of this plane. Her abilities to influence the weather are both envied and feared. Mostly they are feared for she can only bring fierce storms, winds, lightning, hail, torrential rains and the like, and her command over these storms once summoned is quite limited. She cannot control their strength or duration and therefore only uses her powers in the direst of circumstances." She paused briefly and a look of sadness crossed her face before she continued. "It is such a shame she left us when she did, before we could finish her training, before I could teach her the things she needed to know to truly master her Goddess given skills. Of course, she would always be limited by her half human blood and could never hope to reach the level of a God like Poseidon or Aegaeon, but still she could have been very powerful indeed." Suddenly her sadness turned to anger, and her voice quivered with bitterness and rage as she spat out "If only that bastard human boy she obsessed over had run away as instructed when I first confronted him. Instead, he and my daughter snuck away in the middle of the night like two thieves. I may someday forgive her for that, but I will never forgive him, and woe his fate should I ever find him. It shall make that of Sisyphus look like a great gift by comparison" Baj shuddered as he considered that threat. Pushing a large boulder uphill for all eternity was a horrific fate indeed, and he felt a moment of sadness for this human as Elyria was an expert in the art of punishment and would no doubt devise something truly terrible if she were ever to lay her hands upon him. He forced himself to close that train of thought quickly before revulsion overcame him and instead focused on the puzzling inability of the Goddess to locate this human. Considering her many powers, vast knowledge, and network of supplicants, hangers-ons, devotees, and forced servants, it seemed a stretch to think one human could evade the obviously angry Goddess for very long. However, it was a good reminder of her many limitations and of her penchant for stretching the truth. Her "vast knowledge", as she called it, was not nearly as vast as she claimed he had discovered on more than one occasion. Moreover her "network" of loyal servants was always smaller than she led him to believe and truly believed herself. But her powers could not be called into question and finding things and people (mortals) was one of the many abilities possessed by the Goddess that she had proven over and over was genuine.
By Everyday Junglist11 months ago in Fiction
Expatrianas Histories - What the Gods Fear
“The southern Gods live in their great temple in Tenochtitlan. Ehecat is the wind God form of the great Quetzlacoatl. He is equivalent to Zeus among the southern Gods.” It was rare for Elyria to speak to Baj almost as an equal without her normal condescending tone and attitude, but whenever she did, he listened most intently. These were the few times she said things which made sense and were genuinely important, and sometimes even wise. This discussion about the southern Gods was one such occasion and so he made careful note of everything Elyria said. He remained respectfully silent as she continued. "I once heard Zeus say. A God whose name I cannot pronounce, is a God with whom I will have no quarrel. He is a silly old fool, but he is wise in some ways, and in this he is very wise. I will never understand these southern Gods human and you should avoid them at all costs too, if you value your life that is. They are barbarians forever demanding human sacrifice. And the more terrible the death the happier they are." That had sent a shiver down Baj’s spine. To think there existed beings with which even the great Zeus was afraid to quarrel, made Baj realize just how little he knew about the powers of his universe, and just how weak mortals like himself were in comparison to the Gods. He could not help but speak up at that moment. “Do you think they will join us when Diskord comes? Will the southern Gods fight alongside us against Chaos?” Baj asked with an air of resignation which suggested he felt sure the answer would be no. “Yes human, they will join us.” Elyria answered without hesitation. “How can you be certain?” he quickly shot back. The Goddess gazed at Baj and sighed, irritated by his inability to see the answer which was so clearly right in front of his face. “Because my slow brained one, if they do not there will be no humans left for their sacrifices.” Baj had long since armored himself against any hurt that might be caused by Elyria’s many harsh and unfair criticisms of himself and humanity. In the early years of his enslavement, he would have responded in kind, but he had come to accept them as a necessary if very unfortunate aspect of the Goddess’ personality. The attack on his intelligence was mild by her standards and he did not react though he was depressed greatly as he considered the weakness of mortals when viewed against the might of the Gods. Elyria immediately sensed the change in mood through her bond with him, and enquired gently, “Why does your mood suddenly darken human?” Baj answered meekly with an air of resignation “Is there no role for us to play then? In the fight against Chaos I mean. We are so weak. If even the Gods fear DisKord what can we possibly do?” The Goddess looked at him and, in her eyes, he saw something he rarely did. He only ever saw it when she was at the peak of one of her “sermons” pontificating on the power of hope and love, the corny philosophy she espoused, the principles around which a church had been built, and to which her temple’s across Nortenous were dedicated. It was hope that he saw there, true hope, the kind only a God could reveal, and in that moment, it gave him strength and renewed his flagging spirits. He was no acolyte of her church and had been tricked into servitude. He did not believe in that “hippie dippy bullshit” as he referred to her philosophy and church, but even he could not deny the power of her message. However, never in a million years would he say that to the Goddess. Her ego needed no additional stroking given its current and seemingly ever-expanding size.
By Everyday Junglist11 months ago in Fiction
The New Philosophy of the Modern United States of America. Top Story - February 2025.
Preamble: We the people of the United States of America hereby declare that we do not, generally speaking, approve of philosophy. It typically requires deep thought and critical self examination, two things we are very much against. In fact the entire new philosophy of the modern United States of America can best be thought of as an anti-philosophy. If there is a thing that the international community or any group or body or persons that we are against is for, or thinks is useful and important, then we stand united against it. If we are against philosophy, then how can we use it to describe our beliefs? you may ask. Please see Maxims 6 and 13 for a more detailed explanation, but basically it is because we are always free to suspend or ignore previously stated positions or long held beliefs at any time, for any reason, with no justification required or given. It is critically important that the readers of this philosophy understand it only applies to the extent we say it does, when we say it does, and if we ever change our minds about any of it, we will be sure to let you know or not. There is nothing you can do about it in any case so we probably won’t bother. We will of course hold you accountable for everything we say here so reader beware.
By Everyday Junglist11 months ago in The Swamp
The Bias and Prejudice of Infertility Grants
My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for some time now and it appears that we may need to go the IVF route in order to make it happen. For those who are not aware IVF is a very expensive process that the vast majority of health insurance plans (including our own) do not cover. We have been exploring various financing options and discovered that there exist a large number of grants from an array of organizations that will pay for some or all of a given couple’s IVF treatments. Some of these are based on financial need and we do not qualify for any of them with our combined income exceeding the maximum cap. Others are targeted at specific minority or other under represented groups. This story is not about those grants, and I cannot comment on their content as once I saw we exceeded the income cap or were not members of the targeted group I examined them no further. There are however a very large number of fertility grants that are not meant to help the less well off or targeted to specific groups. These grants can be “won” by anyone, and in tone and appearance they feel a lot like a lottery or other contest. Most require that you agree to participate in some events or activities if you are selected as a winner to promote the entity providing the grant, and to share the story of your IVF in real time as you spend the grant money and hopefully end up with a child or children in the end. I have no problem with this and totally understand why a company providing free money to help couples conceive would want to boast of that kind act and using the winners as free advertisement seems as good a way as any.
By Everyday Junglist11 months ago in Families
The War of the Americas - Part VIII
The long bus ride to the camp where Sylvia Platt found herself imprisoned with close to 200 other American expats now declared enemy combatants after the United States had bombed and then declared war on Mexico was uneventful. She thought she knew approximately where she was. They were still on the Baja peninsula and not mainland Mexico given the shortness of the journey, approximately 10h, and the fact that they never crossed a body of water or left the bus. Also, they obviously had traveled south and/or east as directly to the west of where she had been arrested at her home near Tijuana, Mexico lay the Pacific Ocean, and only a short few miles north the border with the United States. They also could not go too far east as that way eventually led to the Texas border. Safest for prisoners would be an isolated location in the middle of the Peninsula as far south as possible. She could no longer see or smell the ocean and the roads had been relatively smooth for the first half of the journey and then terribly bumpy for the remainder so she guessed they had stayed on paved major roadways heading south of which were are only a few in that part of Mexico before turning off and heading east. The final 45 minutes or so of the journey had been a very bumpy steep uphill climb and that last part gave her all the information she needed to puzzle out their general location. Fortunately she had studied much of the geography of Mexico before moving there and those efforts had redoubled when she joined the ranks of the CIA. When she exited the bus and her blindfold was finally removed and she saw the terrain she knew immediately that they were somewhere within the boundaries of the Parque Nacional Sierra de San Pedro Mártir as she could see the Cerro Picacho del Diablo, or “Peak of the Devil” which, at >10,000 feet is the highest peak on the Baja peninsula of Mexico, not far from their position. She guessed they had stopped at an elevation of at least 8,000 feet somewhere near that peak. Hard to believe Mexico had a military outpost, let alone one set up for handling prisoners of war, in this remote location, but the Mexican military, much like that of the United States, had plenty of secrets that were known to only a very few. Sylvia guessed the CIA knew of the this location, but they had failed to inform her of its existence. Of course, there were many things the CIA knew about Mexico, and every other country in the world that they shared with almost no one. And she had no real reason to need to know. Her work at the time had nothing to do with Mexico, and that was not expected to change anytime soon despite the fact that she called the country her home. Neither Sylvia nor the CIA had predicted they would be at war with Mexico within the next few months or if they had her education and training would have been much different. The Mexican base she found herself at was well hidden, at elevation, and appeared to be buried deep in the rockface of the mountain meaning it was hardened from conventional attack and at least partially obscured from spy planes and satellites. The tracker the CIA had implanted in her when she was officially made an agent would allow them to divine her general location, but once inside the base, she had little doubt the thick walls and mountain rock would partially or completely obscure her signal. She would “go dark” as the CIA trackers would put it. She had no illusions that she was valuable enough of an asset to warrant any sort of second rescue attempt, especially after she had faked her own death to evade an initial attempt. That mission had been at her request and by now she was fairly certain that in addition to the CIA, the Navy at least knew she was still alive and that they had been deceived. If Dom had done as she had asked he would have explained her reasons for staying behind and that should end any discussion of another military intervention on her behalf, at least until she was ready to call for one. That might be a very long time from now and the military and CIA would be very busy dealing with the war and accomplishing her two main objectives; helping her fellow prisoners, and picking up intelligence from behind enemy lines, relied on her being with those prisoners in Mexico. That was the entire reason she had chosen to stay behind when her husband had left with the Seal team sent to extract her from her home in Baja shortly after the bombing of San Ysidro border crossing. Her thoughts turned to her husband Dom and their two dead dogs, along with her beloved cats, who she hoped had found a loving new home thanks to her own last minute maneuvering and negotiating with the Mexican soldiers who had arrested her. Two of those soldiers had suffered severe bite injuries at the hands of their dogs, and one had been killed by a SEAL sniper in the process. She felt a great sadness then, for the death of the dogs, the injuries and death of the Mexican soldiers and for her husband whom she missed terribly. She also felt some of the pain he must be feeling at the loss of his two best friends and longtime loyal companions.
By Everyday Junglist11 months ago in Fiction
Trump and Sheinbaum use Opposite Approaches to Achieve Similar Results
As in many things, fear in American politics sells. Americans seemingly can’t get enough of it. They love voting for people that remind them of who it is they should be afraid of, and why they should be afraid of them. They also very much appreciate being reminded that it is those same people who are responsible for all the bad things in their lives, and the lives of their loved ones. Typically these people are foreigners, though sometimes other Americans with different political viewpoints fill in as the fear based objects of choice. If you are wondering how it is I know that Americans really love these things, it is simple, because the people that espouse fear based politics get elected over and over again to a variety of government offices, up to and including presidents of the United States. In fact the easiest way to get elected to political office in the United States is to run on an agenda of be afraid, be very afraid. Professional politicians like the newly elected President of the United States Donald Trump understand and appreciate this fact about the American people, and they exploit it to their advantage whenever necessary to achieve their objectives. It is a highly effective strategy, in the short, and even medium term. Unfortunately for everyone, it is generally epically disastrous in the long term, but who thinks about the long term these days? Not Americans that is for damn sure.
By Everyday Junglist12 months ago in The Swamp
