Alex H Mittelman
Bio
I love writing and just finished my first novel. Writing since I was nine. I’m on the autism spectrum but that doesn’t stop me! If you like my stories, click the heart, leave a comment. Link to book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CQZVM6WJ
Stories (457)
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Exotic Pets
There was a knocking at my door. I looked outside. This has to be a joke. I opened up and an elephant and her baby were out front. “Who knocked?” I shouted. “We did,” the elephant mother said. “What the hell?” I shouted and jumped back. “The elephant revolution has begun. There’s more elephants then humans living underground. We know you lead the human armies, and if you agree to shelter us so we don’t have to fight in the war, we’ll agree to help you negotiate a peaceful surrender,” she said. “I guess I have no choice,” I said.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
Zombie Phones
I was at my desk and I got a text. I was on break so I opened it. The text said, “you’ve got a virus.” “Crap,” I said. My phone started making a humming sound and I couldn’t stop staring at my phone. I had the uncontrollable urge to play the sound for everyone at the office. They all started staring at their phones and they all downloaded the same virus. We left the office and played the sound for everyone we saw. They started staring at their phones too, and downloaded the same virus. We were all brainwashed zombies.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
Business in Flames
I lost lots of business at Mickys International Jewelry. It was all because of the pandemic. I owned an airport jewelry store. Most people weren’t traveling and the ones who were werent spending as much, not realizing our jewelry was special and only went up in value. It appraised for double. I still had my original insurance plan for another month, and I planned on using it. “What about the rest of the airport?” The profesional arsonist I hired asked. “Burn it all down,” I said and almost drove off on my motorcycle. I turned and watched as it burned.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
Egg Sandwich
I ordered an egg sandwich at a gas station. It tasted funny, I was so hungry I didn’t care. I kept eating. I went home, an hour passed. I heard squeaky voices inside my head. “We are the worms from the sandwich. We’ve built a civilization inside your head.” “Get out,” I said. “No,” the worms said. I felt them doing something to my brain. I started walking to the fridge against my will. They made me drink a beer and eat another sandwich. They now had complete control over my brain and body. All I could do was obey.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
The Magic Mermaid
The mermaid princess was bored. Nobody cared that she would commanded a large horde. Her army was going to be massive, the ocean was hers. But she still needed something more, maybe some land furs. She cast a spell, grew some legs, and breached the surface. She smirked, and shouted “I’m here, don’t fear. Someone take me on a date somewhere near.” Several men asked her out, she chose the one with a bad case of gout. He had the biggest wallet and the most clout. She turned him into a merman and they went back to the sea together.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
A Little Trouble
“Go away,” I shouted. A tiny man zipped through the air and zapped me with his tiny weapon. “This is getting annoying,” I shouted. I swatted at him. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed a can of hair spray. I sprayed it all over the tiny man and his flying suit stopped working. He fell to the table and tried to radio for help. “Houston, send back up. I couldn’t capture the giant from Venus,” he said. “I don’t think so,” I said and smashed the tiny man. I turned around to see a hundred more tiny suited men.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
Wheel of Destiny
The guards liked to torture us with games in prison. We were all here for life, so it’s not like we’d ever get out and say anything. It was Ed’s turn for the wheel. “Spin the wheel,” the guards chanted again and again. The wheel was spun. It landed on electric shock. They stun gunned poor Ed for hours and laughed. Now it was my turn for the wheel. I hated this place. They spun the wheel and it landed on The Iron Chair. Crap. They’d keep me there for days, too. Most people didn’t survive The Iron Chair.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
Sidney on the Bus
I hated taking the bus. People would always try to talk to me or they’d smell, and even if they didn’t I felt cramped when they’d sit next to me. I tried wearing headphones but that didn’t help. I’d stare out the window and hoped people would understand I just wanted to be left alone. Someone I’d seen observing me sat next to me and said “you should try talking back to people, then you wouldn’t mind sitting next to them.” “And say what?” I asked. “Sarcastic comments like that,” he said. I smiled and we had a conversation.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
Come Down for Dinner
“Kids, come down for dinner,” I shouted. “We’re playing games,” they shouted. “Eat first, then more games,” I said. “Ugh, it’s the same thing every night, corn and shrimp,” John complained. “Yah,” his brother agreed. “You’re lucky we get anything at all, including those games. The government is negotiating for our release. In the meantime, keep your heads down and a smile on your face. Like the guards keep saying, if they come in and think we’re ungrateful, they’ll shoot us. Do you understand? Keep smiling, damn it! There’s cameras watching,” I said. The kids nodded and smiled. They understood.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
Passionate Love
My name is Javier El Guapo, and I thought I was the most passionate lover on Earth. I’m muscular, have long flowing hair, ride horses and seduced many women. And a few men. I have never been satisfied in a relationship because nobody has ever been able to match my passion. It was last Tuesday. I met a woman María La Perra Hermosa. We made wild love. I fell in love with her instantly. We had such great chemistry together. We went camping and made s’mores, the late night passion was genuinely amazing. Finally, someone who was made for me.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
The Cursed Mood Ring
I was at the carnival. I won a mood ring and put it on. I liked the way it glimmered. It started to turn red but I wasn’t angry. Then I was. I started smashing things and screaming at my mother. “Why are you angry?” She asked. “I don’t know, I think it’s this ring. It’s controlling my mood and I hate everything,” I said. “It’s cursed” the carny said and laughed. My mother grabbed the ring and ripped it off. “Finally I feel better,” I said. My mother showed me her finger, and now it was stuck on her.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
