Where is the visitor?

This time, I am seated in the 3rd row of seats in a 15-seater Nissan, call it a shuttle. This is not the typical me, as many of the times, I am either on the 1st or 2nd row, usually because I have to rate every safari and give the driver a rating-if bad, they have to get a warning, if good, they receive a bonus and later ask them to offer you and the family a drive to a Ruracio in Nyandarua later in the year. Perhaps, I should have begun by saying, I am born of cars, made of cars but manufactured using human body material – soft tissues, blood vessels, haemoglobin, call them biology shenanigans, for you that were shining in biology. Every other time, there is a car running in my mind, I’ll tell you which it is at this particular time of the story.

I am seated in the 3rd row of seats because I am in a rush, I can’t wait for this and another and another to fill up, I have to get to molima early this time roThis time, I am seated in the 3rd row of seats in a 15-seater Nissan, call it a shuttle. This is not the typical me, as many of the times, I am either on the 1st or 2nd row, usually because I have to rate every safari and give the driver a rating-if bad, they have to get a warning, if good, they receive a bonus and later ask them to offer you and the family a drive to a Ruracio in Nyandarua later in the year. Perhaps, I should have begun by saying, I am born of cars, made of cars but manufactured using human body material – soft tissues, blood vessels, haemoglobin, call them biology shenanigans, for you that were shining in biology. Every other time, there is a car running in my mind, I’ll tell you which it is at this particular time of the story.

I am seated in the 3rd row of seats because I am in a rush, I can’t wait for this and another and another to fill up, I have to get to molima early this und. I remember the last time I tried getting there late, it was hell on earth – the rains had organized a surprise for me, because who gets to their village late, save for the popular known villages drunkards, and another team that strategizes to use that time to create wealth, by transferring assets from villagers to their own –say homes, or most times, they would prefer trading in, this is usually done without anyone’s knowledge until the villagers get concerned.

That aside, when I neared the village, the man of the house came to pick me up on his daily ride, of course, he was the only available man to disturb at such a time. Here was the challenge, his ride's headlight can't even be compared to my phone's small torch, it will get a ten–nail, hands down, though for him he claims to be okay with it, he claims to see even better at night. Another thing is that if he gave you the ride to sort yourself, you can’t even start it, if you haven’t been to the gym recently or been doing some manual work, but again it is well known to the owner, they say, kitu ni mwenyewe – mother language sounds even better. He knows how they handle it and mind you, he is not planning to get another one soon, you know why, this is a family heirloom – there is some history behind it. We then set for the road and each time, I kept asking, "Hey man, can you see the road", I could barely see. To shock you more, the road we were using, had been the same since my grandpa was born, it had been a political vehicle for every politician that comes by, every election time, they would ask us to line up for a 200bob bribe to soothe us for our votes and by the time they were leaving, they would be sure tumeingia box. Until after 5 years, we would see them again, undone road, and they would tell us how the government didn’t provide money to build a road plus other stories, and they are asking for a 2nd term, because, this time the government will be sure to allocate something small for that road.

The road is impassable, it is pathetic, all rocks lined up there, but Mr. Man happens to know every part of that stretch, where there are stones and where it is safe to pass. There are no rules like; keep left unless overtaking, the only rule there is to get to where you are going. We were going home, the rains got us halfway, to put it succinctly, is we got home not in a kind way and I swore that was not to happen to me again.

My journey to molima starts at 2pm, we run through the highways, the roads are dualled, credits to our 2 former presidents. Am seated next to a window, keen on spotting motors returning to the city and those playing lane games. At some point, I notice an Audi A3 – A cool car, that which you would love to have for keeps. It is trying to keep up with our speed, well, this is complete irony for the car infront (Call it a Toyota for your convenience) to be in competition with a German machine, Nissan would have done even better, you know that. And now, the Audi will be running in my head for the next couple of days before locating another damn car to replace it. I have to imagine how I will be driving it, once I secure one for myself.

I get to Embu, I have to say “hi” to a colleague, we schooled together, yes, in campo. I refer to him as "guy" he is a cool guy. He was transferred to Embu after losing a job in the city, and got another one with a bank – you know how lucky some people can be. For others, they lose a job, and that is it for them, you will meet them selling you smokies, smochas na kachumbari ya bure in town or others telling you how precious that education policy would be for you when you are not even sure when you will ever have kids. Anyway, guy has been blessed with a junior baby boy and add a beautiful wife. This feels like a challenge for me, but it is not, at least for now. We are seated on a sofa in his house, and guy is telling me how life has been for him (a full story will be shared later).

He tells me that he didn't imagine he could find himself in Embu having been a city lad for the better part of his life, but again life is as it is, (sighs) one time it gonna take you to Samburu to stay with bandits and the other time, you are in Juba, South Sudan, for you that missed Geography classes. “You have to appreciate and accept life as it is”, he says. Even if, it pushed you to go and preach the good news, why not, who would not wish to hear the good news, that they are buying a car or getting a wife soon. To sum this, guy tells me that being married is a plus for him, adding that the notorious Nairobi women would be happily feasting on his paycheck each month, because he is reasonably generous enough but for the moment, he is safe.

He tells me that he didn't imagine he could find himself in Embu having been a city lad for the better part of his life, but again life is as it is, (sighs) one time it gonna take you to Samburu to stay with bandits and the other time, you are in Juba, South Sudan, for you that missed Geography classes. “You have to appreciate and accept life as it is”, he says. Even if, it pushed you to go and preach the good news, why not, who would not wish to hear the good news, that they are buying a car or getting a wife soon. To sum this, guy tells me that being married is a plus for him, adding that the notorious Nairobi women would be happily feasting on his paycheck each month, because he is reasonably generous enough but for the moment, he is safe.

I have one more matatu ride I need to catch – You catch flights not rides, but allow me to catch this one. It is a 14–seater, but 21 of us are loaded into it for it to be deemed full. I detest this behavior from the bottom of my heart to my shoulders and back to my toes, because some enterprising citizens could consider this an opportunity for wealth redistribution, from our pockets to theirs. In the city, they will tell you maneno haya si mageni. Kenyans are known to be opportunists. Additionally, it is also illegal as per the law to overload cars, but they are certain that if anyone tries to stop them placing them in the wrong, they will give them a heavy greeting. In Kenya they say, with money, everything is possible to which I don’t agree with them since the saying runs counter with mine from the Good Book. Nonetheless, I have to get home, even if they decided to have some of us on the carrier.

To complete the last portion of the safari, I now have to seek the services of a boda guy. I join a team of them to see if I could find one, at least one that I know. They are in a contentious discussion, but I try not to cut the conversation. I only imagine how the discussion was like…

Guy 1: unajua mimi nilifanya B.Com

Guy 2: mimi nilikua university ya Kenyatta

Guy 3: mimi ata tulikua tunasoma na bibi ya president, nilijaribu kumkatia tukiwa shule akanitakaa.

Call them, stori za jaba, they could true for some though, but that is not my focus here, I am on my way home. I am lucky to at least get a guy I know, and the tales are now passed on to me. They are letting me know how the Gen Zs would have done better to shape the government as if what we did wasn’t any better. He is also telling me how the area MP is promising them some goodies if they perform well in the local football league, at least this would feel like some truth coming from a politician, maybe for once, but also the MP is looking at your votes in the name of appreciating talent, the world offers nothing freely, I should have told him that but I decided to remain silent.

I am finally home, everyone – from animals, goats, sheep, cows, the newly acquired cat, are all pleased to see me. It feels like a public announcement had been made the previous week on my coming to everyone around the homestead. Bosco – the family dog, gets a sense of me a kilometer away and they have to rush hugging me. Family members happen to be last to receive the city greetings after the animals. You also know during Noah’s time, animals got a chance to join the ark first. It felt nice to be home. East or West, home is…

I have two days to be at home before returning. I have some two key assignments there to be done in two days. one, I have to work on my Simba, it is subject to receiving a visitor anytime soon and this takes me to my second task, I have to meet my Shosho and explain why I didn't carry along a visitor with me (you know who a visitor would be in this case), despite having promised. Other tasks are minor, name them, looking and feeding animals and checking at the farm, tilling the farm since the rains are here.

I am up early the next morning for some amazing views here, but also, it is sinful here to sleep till the sun is filled in your house.

I cruise through the two days smoothly. On day one, a few works and repairs on my Simba. I meet my Shosho on the evening of day two for some coaching and life navigation tips. The meeting starts casually with me confronting the elephant in the room, “where is the visitor?” she asks. For the short time I have been in the city, I have learned some nuggets from politicians on how to manage some of these situations, you know how you do it, keep promising. This ended up cutting the whole story short, even though they kept alerting me that I was running short of time – you would think there is a deadline for this. Time waits for no man, so goes the saying, I promise to be cognizant of this, I too receive some nuggets to aid me in this, including referrals – they are that caring. Anyway, life has more to this, we shake hands and bid each other farewell.

The crops are picking up really well, my chicken are avoiding an eye contact with me because they obviously know we are in December, other animals are also in a relaxed mode, because it is also life for them.

The crops are picking up really well, my chicken are avoiding an eye contact with me because they obviously know we are in December, other animals are also in a relaxed mode, because it is also life for them.

Two days are done, I have to return to the city since my employer is dependent on me for their survival or else they will starve. No, I would be wrong to say so, if I failed to show up, my employer would simply send me a note to say “Dear Oscar, it was nice having you”, and that would be it, someone else somewhere will receive a quick call, “Dear Sir, please report to our office as soon as you can, we need you”. And this would be an early end to a young profession that had just begun, the landlord would be on my case, bills would start opening their eyes even more wider. I wouldn’t want to risk it to that extend. I need my employer more than they need me. I have to return, only knowing this time that my Simba looks better. For the visitor, we shall revisit.