Lovebirds

Love is a beautiful thing, they say. We are in the month of love, we celebrate it, savor it, feel it, experience it and do all one can do with it. I think if it is something people could consume, others could be obese by now.

It came at a time I was searching for one with a gripping love tale to tell. I engage a good chunk of my pals to check whether I could find one but unfortunately, it gets me by surprise that a majority of them don’t want even to hear the word mentioned to them let alone sharing their stories. Have they had the worst experiences as such? One of them tells me that any story of “love” was left last year, 31st Dec marked the culmination of it, they cleared it all and now they don’t want to hear such a thing mentioned to them. Another one tells me, that they would have given the sweetest love story ever but for some reason it never made it to the big screen, the devil might have prevailed along the way. Then there’s this one who literally threatened that should I mention the word “love” to them, they will simply cut me off. Well, is love this mysterious? I wonder. At this point, I am sure you know the kind of love I am referring to.

Here we say, there’s always some light in the tunnel if not at the end. I am fortunate enough to come across some lovebirds with a tale to tell. I meet them at Java Point, Sarit Centre. At the time of my arrival, they had already congregated chit-chatting here and there. The place looked so conspicuous, filled with people talking to each other with deep eye contacts, others on their machines figuring out how long it will take them to have all the emails in their mailbox sorted, but the good thing with emails is everyone is usually dear to you. They will be like Dear Oscar, I trust you are well, but you will agree with me that many a times they will find you fighting for your life. The confusion makes me unable to trace them and so I make a quick call to find their position.

They are fixed by a window, the guy is a longstanding acquaintance of mine. He is a guy I like because he is guy enough. He is enjoying a tropical smoothie, I am told it has a good number of fruits, majority of them from the woodlands. It is accompanied by some sausages. He considers eating his number one concern, yes, eating is healthy. The lady is having a different kind of a thing accompanied by a love-like structure that I couldn’t figure out what that was. To fit into this cycle, I get a similar thing to what the guy is having, a mixture of fruits. It felt like it could somehow cause a mix up of your thoughts, I enjoy it anyway.

I am keen on their conversation, which first brought me a question in mind, do lovebirds get trained on how to converse with one another? They plight in some conversations that don’t even make sense to you, but for them, it feels like it’s life, or is it why they say, love is for the birds? They are keen to show me a guidebook of a love course they will be undertaking for the next 3 months. A course I found to have interesting rules. They tell me, in class, you shouldn’t tell your partner stuff like “si I told you”, it shows your lack of manners. Somebody interjects me on a call before I could engage them any further forcing me into a quick exit. I create a make-shift time for the cover-up.

They first met in 2023 at a friend’s wedding, they were both in the bridal team, the guy here was caught by the beauty displayed, beauty that could start a war if not a passionate conversation, he decided not to show his agility but instead give it an afterthought. The only thing that happened was the usual “hi, uko poa, ata mimi nko poa” and that was it. They met a month later in one of the city surroundings as they did their mashuguli. Nothing much happened here, am not sure if that is what he would refer to as playing safe. Now the third meet-up happened at a friend’s wedding again. Am sure by now you are wondering what will happen to you that does not attend friend’s weddings, maybe it is high time that you consider. Dude was keen to see the deal closed during this opportune time, and sure to my words, it was a deal done, exchanged contacts, conversations started, regular talkings, regular visits together, name them. On November last year, the guy gave it a shot with,” Will you…..”. This seemed to be a case closed, the lady gave a go-ahead the following day. Sometimes you don’t waste much time especially when you have things figured out. I can’t imagine how that made the guy feel, nonetheless, it was the start of a journey, one of a thousand miles.

He tells me that the journey has been an interesting one, one of self-discovery, self-realization, learning how to accommodate extra persons in your life, getting to know and understand the other party, whether they get mad if they give you their pen and you fail to return, making it seem like it was yours in the first place. Decision-making and planning have been a key thing in this journey. He also has gotten some insights on conflict resolution.

“How do you express love to your other half?” I ask the guy

“I know her love language very well,” he says, “quality time is her thing for the day, I try spending as much time as I can with her”

“How often do you meet for talks and chats” I ask.

“We have frequent meet-ups, say twice or thrice a week,” he says.

“On matters communication, one has to be open to the other party, be accommodative and understand the needs of the other party. It is a platform where you can express yourself freely to the other party without fear of intimidation” he continues “Should we disagree on anything, it has to be addressed by close of business day something like business unusual.”

They are guided by one principle, one they pride in – Salvation, it is bread and butter for them, that God is the Centre stage in all this. This is also to tell you that one has to believe in something, you can't just live aimlessly, like an animal in the forest.

They have other plans for the year, name them, wedding plans, introductions, ruracio and others.

On parting shot, I get advised that dating is interesting, you get to enjoy. But then, don’t rush, it’s not a competition, take your time. Get to understand the purpose and the goal you are working towards, then add to it, the right mindset devoid of crazy expectations that won’t see you giving people names they don’t deserve.

The dose here will serve you well. Valentine’s is here, don’t lock up yourself in a room with zero to no ventilation. Come out and find love, it is not for the birds, it is for you.

Happy valentines.