Writing Down The Bones Deck #12

This post is inspired by Denise E Lindquist. I never would have known about this deck of cards if it wasn't for her. So thank you Denise for sharing this lovely deck of cards with all of us on Vocal.

Full disclosure: I have not read Natalie Goldberg's book titled by the same name. I just own her cards.

I also receive a small commission from Amazon if you purchase these cards via the link that I have provided for you. Thank you.

I've been stuck in a writing rut. I have honestly tried everything to get myself out of the funk I have found myself in after losing my fourth child. I tried reading more- when I have time that is. I tried art journaling. I even tried listening to my favourite podcasts about writing and writers block. I mean nothing has been able to get me out of this writers block and depression I find myself in.

I was scrolling Vocal and I came across another post by Denise that featured these cards. And I thought to myself, maybe this is it. SO I bought them. I thought to myself, "Maybe this is what I need". I've been carrying the cards around for about a month- trying to get "in the mood" to write again. I started writing this on my Kindle Scribe today while I was at home and I felt everything just flow. I'm going to try and post every prompt that I work on. I truly love tarot and oracle cards as well as affirmation cards, that is why I clicked so well with these.

SO without further ado- enjoy my attempt at erasing my writer's block with the twelfth prompt.

12) Where do you find injustice? What do you feel about it?

This is a huge topic. It's so vast. There's so much injustice going on right now with the government. I usually try not to fixate on it because it makes me truly sad to see what kind of world my poor kids are going to grow up in. I'd rather focus on the now. On what I can do to make the world a better place. The card called me out though and told me to stop ignoring injustices in the world and dive a little deeper in this prompt.

This is tricky because all I want to see in the world is equality. I want men and women to receive equal pay for the same jobs. I want all races to matter and I hate living in a small town where racism is so present. Especially when you talk to other people you care about and unfortunately don't share the same values.

I'm fortunate enough to live in Canada where we have free health care, but not everything is free. I'm on a monthly medication costs $100 every month. Thankfully I have additional coverage for it, but not everyone has that same luxury.

I couldn't imagine living in the United States where just even having a baby in a hospital would cost over $10 000. And I've got three of them. I was lucky enough to have three c-sections (for health reasons) and have a private room all three times. And it didn't cost me anything because of health insurance. But not everyone has that luxury.

It actually really bothers me- especially when the States have stricter abortion laws as well. Nineteen states in the USA have banned or have limited access to the procedure but then expect families to come up with the money just to have the baby safely. It doesn't make any sense to me. Unless you've got insurance, which from my understanding, not everyone else has access to insurance in the United States.

I just don't understand why most politicians are males. And why they get to decide what laws there should be in place for women's bodies. It truly feels like we are going backwards as society instead of forward. I have a daughter. She could run an entire country with how bossy she is and I have told her as much.

Another injustice that came to my mind is the mental health system. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder multiple times since I was 22 years old. Did you know that more women are diagnosed with bipolar disorder than men are? It's because women are not allowed to be angry. And when we are angry, it becomes a mental health condition.

"Women were specifically more likely than men to report perceived misdiagnoses of personality disorders, anxiety disorders, and mood disorders."

"One in four autistic adults, and one in three autistic women, reported at least one psychiatric diagnosis, obtained prior to being diagnosed with autism, that was perceived as a misdiagnosis."

Link to resource where quotes were taken from here

I have diagnosed PTSD, ADHD, generalized anxiety disorder, and bipolar disorder. But as I grew from my experiences in a mental health facility, it has crossed my mind a few times that I might possibly be autistic and just never diagnosed, based on my childhood. But like I said before, bipolar disorder does suit me and the medication that I am on truly saved my life.

It just frustrates me, as a mental health patient, the amount of stigma that surrounds such an experience.

It's always, "Oh she was in a mental hospital for two weeks, she must be crazy."

Not, "Hey, she wasn't okay for a little while there, but now she has good support system, she got help for her kids, she got better."

I suppose I let that stigma get to me a little bit. It makes me anxious knowing that people view me the way they want to view me because of that ordeal. It's like how people thought you could "catch depression" from someone else. Well no that's not how that works. When you're depressed or in crisis mode, you require support from the people that are supposed to love you. (One of my family members genuinely has this belief and avoids me like the plague because I was in a hospital.) It's frustrating actually especially since I am the best version of myself yet.

My youngest brother comes over from time to time to hang out with my partner. And he firmly believes that it is a women's job to cook, clean, and raise children. Even some of my partner's friends comment the same, disgusting things. It pisses me off actually because that is not how it works in our household. We may have grown up that way, but we don't have to stay that way.

Luckily, I'm with someone that treats me like an equal partner. My youngest loves his dad. He is equally responsible for raising our children as I am. He gets up with the kids on the weekends when I work, because I get up during the week with them. We both do laundry. We both pay the bills. We are equals and I fought hard to find someone that treated me like one- especially after the way I grew up. Just because you didn't know better when you were younger, doesn't give you the excuse to stay the same as an adult. You have free will, you're allowed to change your opinion on something when you have more information.

All I plan on telling my kids about social injustices when they ask as they grow up is this- be on the right side of history, not the wrong side.

Whew, that was an awfully tangent filled rant. There are so many other injustices out there but this is what my heart was calling me to write about today.

Thank you for reading.

Chloe Rose Violet 🌹

Part One: Writing Down The Bones Deck

Part Two: Writing Down The Bones Deck #2

Part Three: Writing Down The Bones Deck #3

Part Four: Writing Down The Bones Deck #4

Part Five: Writing Down The Bones Deck #5

Part Six: Writing Down The Bones Deck #6

Part Seven: Writing Down The Bones Deck #7

Part Eight: Writing Down The Bones Deck #8

Part Nine: Writing Down The Bones Deck #9

Part Ten: Writing Down The Bones Deck #10

Part Eleven: Writing Down The Bones Deck #11