My Body, My Journey

My Body, My Journey

By: [Abdullah]

If you had asked me ten years ago how I felt about my body, I would have answered with a shrug — or worse, a list of everything I wished I could change. I treated my body like a never-ending project, one that was always behind schedule and never quite “good enough.”

I believed my worth was measured in numbers: my weight on the scale, the size on my jeans, the calories on my plate. Every mirror became a battlefield. Every photo felt like evidence in a case against myself.

But this is not a story about staying there. This is the story of how I moved from waging war with my body to calling it home.

Chapter One: The Critic

My earliest memories of body awareness were not mine. They were hand-me-down insecurities from others — family members pinching their waists, classmates comparing thigh gaps, glossy magazines showing “before” and “after” photos that all screamed the same message: smaller is better.

I learned to scan my reflection like I was grading it. My hips were too wide. My arms too soft. My stomach never flat enough. I thought if I could just fix those things, then I could finally start living.

The problem? No matter what I changed, the critic inside me just found something new to dislike.

Chapter Two: The Breaking Point

The real turning point came in my early twenties. I was on yet another restrictive diet, forcing myself through workouts I hated, and yet I felt weaker than ever.

One day, after skipping lunch and dragging myself through a spin class, I fainted in the locker room. The nurse at the urgent care clinic told me gently, “Your body isn’t the problem. The way you treat it is.”

That sentence stuck. My body hadn’t betrayed me I had been betraying my body.

Chapter Three: Learning the Language of My Body

I decided to stop punishing my body and start listening to it.

That meant eating when I was hungry instead of when the clock allowed. It meant moving in ways that felt good —walking, stretching, dancing — instead of only chasing calorie burns.

I began to notice the difference between how I looked and how I felt. Sometimes the mirror showed a “bad day,” but my body was strong, rested, and capable. That was worth more than any arbitrary standard.

Chapter Four: Rewriting the Narrative

One of the hardest parts was unlearning decades of negative self-talk. I started by catching my own insults in the act.

When I heard myself think, Your legs look huge, I tried replacing it with, Your legs carried you through another long day. When I felt tempted to hide my arms, I reminded myself of all the things those arms had hugged, lifted, and created.

I also started surrounding myself with images and voices that celebrated body diversity — people of all shapes, sizes, and abilities living full, vibrant lives. It helped me see my own reflection as just one of many beautiful variations.

Chapter Five: The Quiet Victories

Over time, little moments showed me my relationship with my body was changing.

I went to the beach and swam without worrying about how I looked in my swimsuit.

I ate dessert without promising myself an extra workout later.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a shop window and didn’t feel the urge to look away.

They weren’t dramatic transformations, but they were evidence: my body and I were finally on the same team.

Chapter Six: What I Know Now

Here’s the truth I wish I could send back to my younger self: your body is not a project. It is not a punishment. It is the vessel that lets you experience sunsets, belly laughs, and warm cups of coffee on rainy days.

It’s not always easy. I still have days when old insecurities knock on the door. But now I know I don’t have to let them move in.

Practical Lessons From My Journey

If you’re struggling with body image, here’s what helped me:

1. Stop the war. You can’t heal something you’re fighting against.

2. Shift your focus. Think about what your body does for you, not just how it looks.

3. Find joyful movement. Exercise to celebrate your body, not punish it.

4. Curate your influences. Follow people who make you feel empowered, not ashamed.

5. Talk to yourself kindly. Your inner voice matters more than the mirror.

The Journey Continues

Loving my body isn’t a destination I’ve arrived at once and for all. It’s an ongoing relationship — one that requires patience, respect, and care.

But now, when I look in the mirror, I don’t just see my body. I see my story. The one that’s still being written, in every step I take, every meal I enjoy, every hug I give, and every new day I wake up grateful for the skin I’m in.

And that, to me, is beautiful.