How I Learned to Love My Reflection

How I Learned to Love My Reflection

By: [Abdullah]

For most of my life, mirrors were my enemies.

Not because I was vain, but because I couldn’t stand what I saw. I’d glance at my reflection and immediately zero in on flaws: the uneven skin tone, the curve of my nose, the way my stomach never looked as flat as I wanted. My inner voice was crueler than any playground bully, and it spoke up every time I caught sight of myself.

If you’ve ever avoided your reflection in a shop window or dreaded photos because you’re afraid of what you’ll see, you know the feeling. It’s exhausting — like carrying around a critic who never takes a day off.

But a few years ago, something shifted. Today, I can look in the mirror without flinching. In fact, sometimes I even smile at what I see. This is the story of how I got there — and how you can too.


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Step 1: Realizing the Real Enemy Wasn’t the Mirror

It hit me one morning as I was brushing my teeth, glaring at myself in the bathroom mirror. The mirror hadn’t done anything to me. It was just reflecting what was already there. The problem wasn’t my reflection — it was the story I told myself about it.

I started asking: Would I say these things to a friend? Of course not. If my best friend stood next to me, I’d point out how her eyes sparkled or how her hair caught the light. I wouldn’t say, “Ugh, look at those wrinkles.”

So why was I doing it to myself? That question became the first crack in the wall I’d built between myself and my reflection.


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Step 2: The 30-Second Compliment Rule

A therapist once told me: “If you can’t find anything good to say about yourself, start small. Even one thing is enough.”

I took it literally. Every morning, I’d spend 30 seconds looking in the mirror and saying something kind. Sometimes it was, “I like my eyes today.” Other days it was just, “I’m glad you showed up.”

At first, it felt awkward — like I was pretending. But over time, my brain started to believe me. The more I practiced, the more natural it became. Compliments stopped feeling like lies and started feeling like truths.


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Step 3: Seeing Myself in Motion

We’re used to seeing still images of ourselves — selfies, portraits, that one unflattering photo someone tags on social media. But a still photo captures only a split second. It doesn’t show your warmth, your laugh, or the way your face lights up when you talk about something you love.

So I started making short videos — not for posting, just for me. I recorded myself telling a funny story, cooking a meal, or talking to my cat. Watching those clips was like meeting a different version of me.

Suddenly, I wasn’t just a list of features to be judged. I was a whole person with expressions, gestures, and energy that no still image could capture.


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Step 4: Curating My Mirror Moments

I used to only notice my reflection in harsh lighting — dressing room mirrors, bad bathroom bulbs, security cameras that make you look like you’ve aged ten years. No wonder I hated what I saw.

Now, I make my mirror moments intentional. I stand in good natural light. I play my favorite song. Sometimes I’ll even wear something I love just to boost my mood. It’s not about vanity — it’s about creating an environment where I’m more likely to see myself kindly.


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Step 5: Shifting the Conversation

When I was younger, compliments about my appearance were the only ones that felt valuable. But now I try to compliment myself — and others — on things unrelated to looks.

I tell myself:

“You’re resilient.”

“You’re patient.”

“You’re creative.”


Over time, my reflection stopped being just about how I looked and started being about who I was. That shift was powerful.


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Step 6: Unfollowing the Comparison Trap

Nothing damages self-image faster than comparing yourself to someone else’s highlight reel. I started unfollowing social media accounts that made me feel inadequate and replaced them with ones that celebrated body diversity, natural beauty, and authenticity.

The more I saw different body types, skin tones, and features celebrated, the more I realized: there is no one “right” way to look. My reflection didn’t have to fit someone else’s standard to be worthy of love.


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What I See Now

I still have days where I notice things I don’t love. I think we all do. But those days no longer spiral into self-hate.

When I look in the mirror now, I see someone who survived hard days, someone who keeps showing up, someone who laughs loudly and loves deeply. I see the girl who thought she’d never make peace with her reflection — and the woman who proved her wrong.


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Practical Tips for Loving Your Reflection

If you’re on your own self-acceptance journey, here are a few things that helped me:

1. Speak kindly — Even if it feels fake at first, say one nice thing to yourself each day.


2. See yourself in motion — Videos show your warmth and personality in a way still photos can’t.


3. Create positive mirror moments — Good lighting, music, and clothes you love can shift your mindset.


4. Focus beyond appearance — Compliment yourself on character, skills, and resilience.


5. Change your media diet — Follow creators and accounts that celebrate diversity and authenticity.




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I used to think self-love meant waking up one day and magically adoring everything about my appearance. Now I know it’s not magic — it’s a daily choice.

And sometimes, when I pass a mirror, I catch myself smiling. Not because I think I look perfect, but because I see someone worth smiling at.