Body Image in Aging

As I mentioned in my previous article, my focus is on the topic of aging especially regarding women so I'm thinking about old ladies which is what I consider myself since I am "over the hill" (over 50 years of age). Though wise men will say that we ought not compare ourselves to others as it is a source of emotional havoc, I notice that sitting in front of a television or computer screen in a female aging body is a source of loneliness and restlessness. Though I may be wise like those men or other notable wise women in the famous stories, I see daily that comparisons are often made (intentionally or not) almost as if it is impossible to get through the day without doing so. Scroll on Facebook because you're bored and see a joke about sagging breasts. Lots of laughs but would it be funny without comparison? If we didn't have plastic boobs or 15 year old boobs to look at, would the saggy drooping old lady boobs be funny? I'll try not to compare us to animals, but when I get in a serious mood I tend to compare human behavior to the animals and the animals seem to be more civilized. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Maybe that was as cruel as laughing at your grandmother's breasts. Did you laugh at the porn stars breasts the same way? Oh right, it isn't wise to compare. What? The laughs or the breasts?

Body image and insecurities occur at any age. A young girl in second grade notices that the boys keep showing the blonde blue eyed girl more attention than the brunette girl. Similarily (to be fair) a young boy in the same class may notice how the girls ignore the chubby boy with perfect manners while they try to get attention from the "fit" boy who is often rude. These behaviors affect psychology from youth to old age in males and females. They are not conditioned from abuse or trauma or a specific relationship. These behaviors simply occur in groups of people regardless of age or a million books or articles written or read. No good reason at this point to question it, I accept it and make note of it because if I or any woman have insecurities about the female body, those feelings or thoughts were conditioned time and time again by social interaction. The older we get, the less we care, or at least the better we are at pretending we don't care about it. Is it vanity or pride that seeks love and validation? Or is that simply the way that women are? Or is that simply the need of any and every human being regardless of age or body description? Rhetorical?

How can a woman who is "over-the-hill" and have tons of experience and stories and wisdom to share call herself shy or prudent? It's not that difficult for a woman to change her thoughts or behavior - After all, menopause is also called "the change". Shyness or Prudence is not the change. The woman may have felt that in her childhood or early teens. The changes are happening to her physically just like a teen experienced puberty. After puberty, a person is safe from such biological physical changes for at least three decades. So when such dramatic changes occur again, it's somewhat shocking. You can tell a pre-teen about menstruation and puberty, but until it starts happening they won't comprehend how challenging it is. The same holds true for menopause and women in their forties who are nearing the physical changes coming up. There isn't much you can do to prepare for it. Many women have said after raising their natural born children that there was no way for them to be "prepared" to be a mother. Again, I am trying NOT to compare us to animals. Women say this because it's more than a biological function like going to the bathroom to relieve yourself. There is a mental and spiritual bond and commitment BORN during the childbirth, and then there is the difficult societal blending for the sake of human civilization that may or may not be compatible to your family or love style. That struggle for parent/child is very similar to the struggles of teens during puberty and older women going through menopause. Yet none of the three groups I mention seem to get the tolerance, forgiveness, or attention that they really need. I have to compare the attention to prove that point. Who gets the attention? The men and the young women who have already passed puberty. It's as if Society and Love can not be Wise and Fair and instead offer us a glimpse through television and social media at how to manage our pain with the laughs of the people who are not suffering the lack of love.

For example: An elderly woman goes to the doctor. She tells the doctor her knees are hurting her. The doctor hits the elderly woman's knee hard with a metal rod. The woman screams in agony. The doctor laughs and then sends Medicare a bill and tells the old woman that she is fine.

Was that funny? Maybe to those of us who kept a sense of humor and know that the old lady can still get to the bathroom and on and off the toilet by herself.

She didn't think it was funny, because the doctor laughed all the way to his sports car and even though he's the same age as the elderly woman, he's having fun with his 20-something girlfriend at his mansion and the young bimbo who makes fun of grandma's boobs doesn't care if the doctor is a monster because she loves driving his Corvette or Ferrari or whatever else he's got parked in the garage thanks to the old people he abuses under Insurance policies. They say to themselves while they laugh at Grandma's boobs, 'she'd do the same thing to us if she could' --- But they're not quite right.

In the meantime, the elderly woman is looking at pictures of people laughing on Facebook about her saggy boobs, crying about the pain in her knees, and praying to God that he kills all doctors and insurance companies so that when she's cremated the remains of her dust can laugh at some kind of justice. Then she watches some movie of a crazed vigilante who does exactly what she prayed to God to do. He blows up the hospital, hangs the evil doctor, and sends the 20something bimbo a letter from the hospital telling her she has breast cancer. The old woman is delighted and hangs a poster sized print of the Hero Vigilante on her wall above her rotting bed, where she happily pleasures her sagging boobs as she fantasizes about her hero.