The Secret to Eliminate Self Evident Truths And Live Your Authoritarian Dreams

Hi, I am Alexo Googlard, creator of FIST UNITED, the premier final solution think tank for bringing order out of chaos. I am here to give you the key to unlocking the Rubik's Cube standing between you and that revolutionary plot to distract the masses and fulfill your plans for insurrection. That’s right now you can be among the 1% of initiates in A Brave New World who are living their totalitarian dreams!

The problem with most covert operations to overthrow a republic is resistance to freedom suppression. The very same huddled masses you’re trying to enslave can be an insurmountable obstacle. News of reeducation camps travels at the speed of light these days and public outrage is the number one killer of subversive mutinous plots.

Less lethal projectiles (LLP) were supposed to be the answer to politically correct freedom suppression facilitation back in 1984. Unfortunately, a rouge Network feature ended it all. Claims that “rubber bullets weren’t really made of rubber" combined with phrases like “sustained brutal injuries” and” loss of life,” forever doomed public opinion of the promising projectile.

We at FU understand freedom suppression is a complicated issue to navigate. Just one idealistic journalist touting "human rights violations" and you can forget that swanky fortified compound and caravan of armored Hummer's you have been eyeballing.

Realistically speaking, the "less than rubber" bullets do damage human capital. Chances They Live after being struck by one are dependent on too many variables. After all, what is the point of a despotic reign of terror without the terrified masses? Let’s take a look at the results of months of market research conducted by FIST UNITED science consultants.

In a survey of ANTIFA members struck by traditional LLP results showed negligible data. Reports indicate a 0% possibility of ANTIFA being struck by LLPs during a riot.

After PETA members had been struck with traditional LLPs, they showed a 70% increase in apprehension avoidance. This caused PETA to adapt their protest strategies. At the next rally all the hot naked chicks in cages were wearing shoes and cage doors were left ajar in anticipation of evading capture.

Black Lives Matter protesters were 98% less likely to comply with apprehension attempts after being struck with traditional LLPs during a protest march. Compared to a pre-LLP compliance factor of 2%, it's clear. Trust of authoritarian oppression tactics becomes a problem after traditional less-lethal projectiles makes contact.

The data is troubling for those wishing to subvert of constitutional laws. This is why FU has developed a new technology which I am going to share with you in a minute. First, let us look at the data after the new FU projectile was used.

The science consultants at FU polled a group of pissed off postpartum protesters. These rabblerousers were struck with our projectile after assaulting the Rush Limbaugh fan club president with their breast milk at a tea party rally.

Once the FU projectile took effect the bare-breasted snipers were shockingly 80% more compliant and reported feeling 75% more willing to stop whipping those suckers out in public!

After the new projectile was used at a green peace rally, members reported a decreased desire to "blow shit up to stop all the senseless killing." Some even reported achieving spiritual enlightenment! I personally tested this side affect by having my assistant Johan, load up, take aim, and give me an excuse for some much-needed self-care! Projectile assisted down time is now standard practice at my office!

Our product is safe for any age group too! No more riots at bedtime in my house, it is that effective! Are you ready to learn the secret that has absolutely no breaking news or public outrage linked to it?

Introducing, The FU BITCH. That stands for, FIST United BulleT in Colorless Housing. The FU BITCH uses dermal contact sedation to deliver a totally colorless, chemically enhanced projectile. Once contact with the target is achieved, the biodegradable microprojectile administers a combination of tranquilizers (Ketamine, Xanax, and Lysergic acid diethylamide or LSD) to targeted individuals. The target instantly enters an altered state we call, “sitting duck consciousness", allowing for easy retrieval and containment.

As the name suggests, FIST UNITED BulleT in Colorless Housing is a colorless projectile; allowing for total stealth while encouraging total inclusion. Never again be called just another hate mongering "rubber bullet barbarian" by the media when you violate the Nuremberg code to bypass constitutional rights!

At FIST UNITED we care about the capital we oppress. This is why the FU BITCH projectile has sponsored a outreach program for the communities it is used in most. We have partnered with the federal bureau of prisons new non profit organization called, Solving Loss of African American Voices in Economic Situations. The SLAAVES program creates jobs and eliminates the need for cheaper foreign labor.

This means FU BITCH is 100% American-made! SLAAVES boasts an ethnically rich company with 80% of its workforce identifying as Non-Caucasian, Non-Hispanic, Non-Native American, Non-Asian and Non-Other Race.

SLAAVES forces a sense of pride allowing for successful reintegration after the employment period is up. The SLAAVES program has competitive wages many cents higher than other federal jobs programs. Lower production costs mean lower consumer costs without lower quality.

SLAAVES workers know a job well done means a safer product imbedded in their neighbors, loved ones and, themselves after their forced societal distancing at a secure housing facility is up. This is why the FU BITCH has the highest safety ratings in the less-lethal projectile industry! There is nothing but democracy to lose and iron fist rule to gain! Leave nothing to chance when plotting your revolution, absolute power is absolutely achievable with the FU BITCH projectile!