TACO Calling PACO - 10
Iranian operation aftermath
This conversation happened on March 1, 2026, after Trump attacked Iran and assassinated its supreme leader Ayatollah Khamenei on February 28.
"Hello, Vlad?"
"Yes, Donnie." [dry, restrained]
"Are you trying to avoid me?"
"Why did you decide so?"
"I've been trying to call you for the whole day. The whole day, Vlad, and you didn't pick up. I started to think maybe you changed your number. Did you change your number, Vlad?"
"You are calling me on it, aren't you?"
"Just kidding. Am I sensing some hostility from you, Vlad?"
"Very perceptive, for a change."
"And why are you angry with me?"
"You just murdered my good friend, Donald, cynically violating all norms of human morality and international law."
"Kinda like you did with Ukraine, right, Vlad? Why can't I have my own little war of choice?"
"Because you just killed my strategic ally and partner, Donald! Iran was crucial for me to continue my special operation in Ukraine."
"Well, maybe you should stop your special operation in Ukraine, Vlad. Just stop it! Enough people already died on both sides..."
"Why are you doing this, Donald?"
"Doing what, Vlad?"
"First, you ruined Venezuela. Now Iran. What's next, Cuba?"
"That's not a bad idea, Vlad. Maybe I'll go into Cuba. Cuba is behaving badly. So badly, you can't even imagine. Just this week they killed four people in an American speedboat. We haven't said anything yet... well Marco said it was a "highly unusual incident"... but if any of those killed are American citizens I can easily start the war with Cuba. I can destroy it. I can destroy my own country, not speaking of fucking little Cuba."
"Why don't you go do that, Donald?"
"Destroy Cuba?"
"No, destroy your own country. Leave my friends and allies alone!" [menacingly]
"Woah, Vlad, what's with all the hostility? You haven't called me Donald in ages. Are you really upset about Ayatollah?"
"Of course I am! He was a friend and ally. You can't just go and kill someone at their own home, Donald! Together with his daughter, nonetheless!"
"Well, apparently, I can. Who is a gullible naive useful idiot now, ah, Vlad?"
"What? Where does that come from?"
"Didn't your intelligence officers called me that, laughing behind my back, mocking me like I was a schoolgirl in love with you or something?"
"Oh my g... Donald, where did you hear that?"
"The British intelligence reported that, gave me intel on Russia."
"They made it up! Just to drive a wedge between us. How can you trust them, they were the ones who leaked the info about golden showers!"
"Are you saying your guys never said this, Vlad?"
"Even if they did, there are stupid people everywhere, I have never heard anything like this. Everyone here respects you as a shrewd businessman and smart leader."
"Really, Vlad?"
"Of course, why would I lie to you?"
"I don't know, I hate it when people laugh at me behind my back, you know."
"I know. I would never do that."
"Promise?"
"Promise. And you have to promise me no more killings or regime change wars. With the rate you are going, I may be next!"
"C'mon, Vlad, you know I'd never do that. Besides, taking Khamenei out is actually a good thing. I've done them a favor."
"Whom?
"Everyone, actually. Bibi is happy, Iranian people, especially those who protested, are happy, and I think even his supporters are happy."
"Why would they be happy? They've just lost their leader!"
"Oh c'mon, Vlad, he was not a good leader. Old, tired and frail. He is probably happy too because he became a martyr. And the Iranian radical clerics can now get a new leader, someone younger. You and I both know there will be no real regime change there. But this way, everyone still wins!"
"I didn't win, Donald! I lost a good friend and partner who was helping me with Ukraine. And what's in it for you?"
"Oh, you know, it's what you would've done. The Dems are still on my tail for the Epstein files, my approval ratings are low and I cannot lose the midterms. So I needed a short winning war, as you Russians say."
"There's no such thing as a short winning war, Donald. It's a myth. I know it now better than anyone else."
"I see you are grumpy, Vlad. Maybe I should call another time."
"Don't bother, Donald, I'll call you when I want to."
"Ok, Vlad, as you wish. Good-bye then?"
"Bye, Donald."
About the Creator
Lana V Lynx
Avid reader and occasional writer of satire and short fiction. For my own sanity and security, I write under a pen name. My books: Moscow Calling - 2017 and President & Psychiatrist
@lanalynx.bsky.social
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Comments (6)
You always capture the dummkopf correctly: Did you change your number, Vlad?" "You are calling me on it, aren't you?" We can only wish that Putin cuts him off but the damage is done. He is trying to turn our country into Russia with Russian-like media news of CNN, ABC, CBS, etc. He acts without thinking very long-term. I heard that Israel told him if he didn't go in bombing, they would use nuclear. Of course, he thinks it will be super quick, and nothing in war is. Now we will have Isis-L or whatever comes after K in their minds.
Again seems to real.
Good! Trump is burning bridges all around. Can't wait to see him get impeached...again
Oooo, Vlad is super mad. Trump really be digging his own grave!
An interesting conversation there, Lana!
Hi Lana. Any chance you’ll take a look at what might be a final draft? https://shopping-feedback.today/poets/ides-scfva0ace%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cdiv class="css-w4qknv-Replies">