TACO Calling PACO - 1
Crytalk over Social Media Breakup
This conversation happened as a very public social-media-fueled breakup between Elon Musk and Donald Trump was unfolding over several hours on June 5, 2025.
"Hello, Vlad?"
"Yes, Donnie, what's up?"
"What's up? What's up?? Don't you know what's going on???"
"Lots of things are going on in the world, Donnie. What specific thing are you talking about?"
"Elon went crazy on me! Completely crazy, like an unhinged psycho! I don't know how to stop him!"
"Ah, that, I've heard rumblings..."
"Rumblings??? Rumblings??? It's a category 9 hurricane! a 12-point earthquake! a category 8 tsunami right here! A total and complete disaster! A disaster the likes of which no one has ever seen before! "
"C'mon, Donnie, I know you can... hm... exaggerate, but your scales are way off. Things you say don't exist in nature."
"What do you mean?"
"Hurricanes only run to category 5, not 9. Earthquakes by any scale are no more than 10 and a 10 would cause a rapture on an enormous fault line, literally breaking the earth into parts. Tsunamis only run to category 6 not 8, and a 6 will cause a complete and utter destruction, like Fukushima in Japan."
"Wow! How come you know all this stuff, Vlad?"
"It's just basic knowledge, Donnie."
"Anyway, Elon's treason is not a rumbling, it's a rapture. A rapture of biblical size. Everyone on FoxNews is going crazy, all they talk about is how their two daddies are fighting. Can you believe it, we are two daddies for this country? Allegedly, and not in any homosexual sense. I'd never..."
"I get it, Donnie, I get it. But you have to keep in mind that I live almost 5,000 miles away, so your squabble with Elon is just rumblings to me!" [snickers]
"A squabble? How can you say this, Vlad? It's not a squabble! Not a squabble at all. A full-on war! He brought up fucking Epstein! He is destroying my reputation and career!"
Putin sneers into his sleeve, "As if there's anything left to destroy there."
To Trump, "I understand your frustration, Donnie. How can I help?"
"Remember I asked you to invite Elon to Russia? Some time ago?"
"Uh-hum."
"Can make it happen? Let him go away for a little while, to cool off? Just for a little while? I'm sure he'd love to meet you in person. I mean, even I would love to see you in person again."
"I'll see what I can do, Donnie. His father is apparently in Russia now, I could use that as an additional stimulus, but I don't know how close they are..."
"I know publicly Elon is trying to stay away from his father. Can you imagine, his father apparently was quite abusive to him, and an open neo-Nazi? Neo-Nazi, can you believe it? I didn't know that."
"I know that about Errol, Donnie. It's very unfortunate, especially given my own fight with Nazis in Ukraine. But Elon isn't a Nazi, is he?"
"I don't think so. Not a Nazi, as far as I know. I know he is a little bit racist and a white supremacist..."
"But who among us isn't, right?" [chuckles]
"I'm not racist at all, Vlad!" [sounds offended]. "I have a lot of Black, Indian, Asian and Arabic friends."
"I do too, Donnie, and some of those friends are mutual, like MBS or Kim the Third. This doesn't preclude me from thinking white people as a race are superior to all others."
"Really? I was told that if you are racist you can't really have friends of other races."
"That's a woke mind virus working in you, Donnie."
"No way! I've never been exposed to it, Vlad."
"Sure, Donnie. In any case, I think you need a major distraction from the fallout with Elon. If people are paying too much attention to it, it may indeed damage your reputation and policies."
"I agree. Finally, you get this. What do you think I should do?"
"Create a crisis that will be much more devastating, in some of your enemy's backyard."
"I like that, Vlad. I really like this. Any specific ideas?"
"Well, I've seen people in Los Angeles are protesting your illegal immigration crackdown. Why don't you declare those protests violent riots and send in federal troops to stop them? If they escalate, you can declare martial law and take control of the country forever and irreversibly. If they stop, you can declare victory anyway. Win-win in any outcome, really."
"I love this idea, Vlad, thank you so much! I'll talk it over with Stephen Miller while it's still fresh from your mouth. Bye, Vlad! And please invite Elon!"
"I will, Donnie, bye!"
***
Author's note: It took me almost a week to finish this because of some medical issues and other things in my life (still a lot of work in the house). I know it's easy to be prophetic in retrospect, but this is how I conceived this convo on the day Trump and Elon had their social media spat, I promise.
If you are new to my Calling Moscow series and want to know where TACO and PACO came from, it's all explained in here:
About the Creator
Lana V Lynx
Avid reader and occasional writer of satire and short fiction. For my own sanity and security, I write under a pen name. My books: Moscow Calling - 2017 and President & Psychiatrist
@lanalynx.bsky.social
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Ditched - Index
This index is just for my subscribers. I finished and published this long story or short novella of 6,000 words recently. I tried to link all previous parts of the story in the next one, so if you went along you shouldn't have been lost. This index is just put everything in one place.
By Lana V LynxExclusive • 3 months ago
Two Wounded in a Shooting with U.S. Federal Agents in Portland, Oregon
Portland, Oregon, once again found itself at the center of a national debate after two people were wounded in a shooting involving U.S. federal agents in early January. The incident, which unfolded in a residential area of Southeast Portland, has raised serious questions about the role of federal law enforcement in American cities, the use of force during immigration operations, and the growing divide between federal agencies and local governments. As investigations continue, the shooting has become more than a single law-enforcement encounter. It now symbolizes deeper political, legal, and social tensions that have been simmering for years in Portland and across the United States. What Happened in Portland According to initial reports, the incident occurred during what federal authorities described as a targeted enforcement operation. Agents from the Department of Homeland Security, including officers connected to Customs and Border Protection, attempted to stop a vehicle in Southeast Portland. Federal officials claim that during the stop, the situation escalated rapidly. They allege that the driver attempted to use the vehicle as a weapon, placing agents in immediate danger. In response, at least one federal agent discharged a firearm, striking two individuals inside the vehicle. The wounded individuals later sought medical assistance, prompting local Portland police to respond. Importantly, city police confirmed they were not involved in the federal operation itself and only became aware of the incident after emergency calls were made. Both individuals were transported to a hospital and were reported to be in stable condition. One of the wounded was later taken into federal custody following treatment. Conflicting Narratives and Unanswered Questions As with many high-profile law-enforcement shootings, competing narratives quickly emerged. Federal authorities framed the shooting as a matter of self-defense, emphasizing that agents faced a life-threatening situation. They also suggested that the individuals involved may have been connected to organized criminal activity, though these claims have not been independently verified in court. Local leaders and civil rights advocates, however, expressed alarm. Portland officials questioned why heavily armed federal agents were conducting operations in residential neighborhoods without coordination with local law enforcement. Critics argue that such actions increase the risk of violence and undermine public trust. At the heart of the controversy is transparency. Many residents are demanding the release of body-camera footage, clear explanations of the agents’ authority, and answers about whether de-escalation tactics were used before gunfire erupted. Reaction from City and State Leaders Portland’s city leadership responded swiftly. The mayor and several city council members publicly called for a pause on federal immigration enforcement operations within city limits until a full investigation is completed. Oregon’s governor echoed those concerns, describing the shooting as “deeply troubling” and emphasizing the need to protect community safety while respecting the rule of law. The state attorney general announced an independent review to determine whether the federal agents acted within legal boundaries. This pushback reflects a long-standing tension between Oregon’s state policies — which emphasize sanctuary protections — and federal enforcement strategies that prioritize aggressive immigration operations. Community Response and Public Protests The shooting sparked immediate protests across Portland. Demonstrators gathered near federal buildings and downtown streets, holding signs calling for accountability and chanting against what they described as the “militarization” of immigration enforcement. For many community members, especially immigrants and people of color, the incident intensified existing fears. Advocacy groups warned that federal operations conducted without local oversight can create a climate of fear, discouraging residents from reporting crimes or cooperating with authorities. Protesters also linked the Portland shooting to a broader national pattern, citing other recent incidents involving federal agents and civilians. To them, the shooting was not an isolated case, but part of a systemic issue demanding national attention. A Broader National Debate The Portland incident comes at a time when the United States is deeply divided over immigration policy and federal power. Supporters of strong federal enforcement argue that agents must be allowed to act decisively to combat serious crime, including gang activity and human trafficking. They contend that restricting federal operations would leave dangerous individuals free to operate. Opponents counter that aggressive tactics often blur the line between law enforcement and military action. They argue that without accountability and local cooperation, federal agents risk violating civil liberties and escalating routine encounters into deadly confrontations. Legal experts also point out that holding federal agents accountable can be challenging due to complex jurisdictional rules and legal protections, further fueling public frustration. What Happens Next Investigations into the shooting are ongoing, with federal and state authorities reviewing evidence, witness statements, and operational protocols. Whether disciplinary action, policy changes, or legal consequences will follow remains uncertain. What is clear is that the shooting has reignited a conversation Portland knows well — about who holds power, how it is exercised, and at what cost. For now, the city waits. Residents, activists, and officials alike are watching closely, aware that the outcome of this case could shape the future of federal enforcement not only in Portland, but across the country.
By Muhammad Hassan5 days ago in The Swamp
Comments (7)
The creative writing and thinking, always enjoy it. Some of the comments (distractions) are mind boggling, but this is what they do.
You hit all of the point in this!! Amazing. The nazi Miller and Putin with Ukraine nazi remarks and the conversation sound just like ol’ orange face talks. Great work as always.
Lana, this is like the biggest gift you could ever get me. I was so sad when the Calling Moscow series ended. Now I'm soooo happy hehehehehhehe. Anyway, I hope you're feeling much better now. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️ Also, do you really think Putin knows the correct magnitudes of natural disasters? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I truly hope these conversations never happen like this but the veiled truth contained in them is undeniable. Hope you're doing okay. Take care of yourself.
I see they are up to their old antics again, lol. Hope all is well/better for you, Lana. Great read!!!
Damn you called it Lana. I feel like we’re living in times where fact is definitely stranger than fiction!
First off I hope you are doing better. Secondly I do like these taco and Paco talks. Keep it up