Moscow’s Calling - 35

This conversation happened on October 27, 2024, on the day Trump held his rally at Madison Square Garden in NYC.

“Hello, Donnie?” [urged, excited]

“Yes, Vlad, you are calling me at a really bad time.” [agitated]

“Yeah? Well, I’m having a great time. Really great, Donnie.”

“Really? Can it wait?”

“I guess, but, what are you doing that’s more important than me?”

“Watching Rudy warm up the crowds for me.”

“That’s right, I forgot about your rally in New York today.”

“New York??? It’s not just New York, Vlad, it’s the one and only Madison Square Garden, dream venue, the greatest performance place in the world!”

“Have you ever been to Luzhniki, Donnie?”

“No, what’s that?”

“The greatest performance venue in Moscow and mother Russia, 80 thousand people capacity.”

“Ha! A stadium with 80 thousand people here in America would be like in the 20th place from the standpoint of crowd size. Twentieth, Vlad! Our biggest stadium in Michigan can take in over a hundred thousand.”

“Have you ever performed there?”

“No, not that I remember of.”

“Well, and I have, I gathered and filled up Luzhniki to full capacity a couple of times.”

“Well, my crowds are huge, Vlad! I get the biggest crowds for my rallies! My inauguration rally was more than two million people!”

“Not what I heard, but I’ll give it to you. It’s easier to get bigger crowds in open spaces. Anyway, how’s Madison Square Garden filling up for you, Donnie?”

“It’s beautiful, Vlad! Tremendous! People started lining up last night, can you imagine, many came from other places and waited for the whole night! I’ve been watching this on TV for a couple of hours, and people are still coming in. It’s going to be a full crowd, Vlad! They all love me and wanna see me! New York loves me, whatever fake media say!”

“Well, good for you, Donnie, keep it up! Maybe you will be able to win New York in election as well.”

“Not maybe, Vlad, with this love and support for sure! You should see these people, Vlad! These beautiful people, they all love me. No way I lose New York now! And if I do, it means they’ve cheated! I know the only way they can win New York now is if they rig it!”

“Ok, Donnie, if you say so.”

“I do say so, Vlad. Anyway, Rudy is almost done now.”

“How is he doing, by the way?”

“You know that crazy out of control Biden’s judge in New York took everything from him? can you believe it? Everything, Vlad: his apartment in Manhattan, all his things, and even his luxury clothes and watches. Can you imagine? Left only his grandfather’s watch!”

“I heard something about that, yes.”

“He also lost his law licenses, so he can’t practice law now. Can’t practice anywhere at all.”

“Poor Rudy!”

“Yeah, poor Rudy! [mockingly] Poor Rudy showed up at my Trump Tower apartment where I stayed for the night for today’s rally and said, because I’ve lost everything because of you, Mr.Trump, President Trump, and he always calls me Mister and President Trump when he needs something from me, and I have no place of my own in Manhattan now, I’m going to stay with you! Can you believe it?”

“No way! The audacity!”

“Exactly, can you imagine the chutzpah on that guy, Vlad? He committed crimes and I have to take care of him now?”

“No way, Donnie! What did you do?” [laughing into his sleeve]

“Well, I told him he could stay for the night because we were going to MSG together anyway. But for one night only. I also promised him that when I become president I will pardon him and return all his confiscated property to him.”

“Good move, Donnie. You are a good friend. You need to take care of your loyal people.”

“But what do I do if he doesn’t want to leave, Vlad? He whines about how he loves Manhattan and has no place to live. He whined about it all night last night.”

“Does the guest room you put him in have windows that open, Donnie?”

“As a matter of fact, it does. When Barron was born, Melania had all windows in that apartment sealed, except for that particular guest room.”

“So then you could just show him a big beautiful open Manhattan view, Donnie. Problem solved.”

“What? I don’t understand how?”

“Accidental defenestration, Donnie.”

“Define- what?”

“De-fe-ne-stra-tion, Donnie, when someone dies by falling out a high window by accident.”

“Oh…” [clearly shocked]

“Several of my former good friends died that way, Donnie. No friend, no problem.”

“Oh…” [still shocked]

“C’mon, Donnie, don’t take it to heart. I’m just joking. Why would we want anything bad to happen to our good old Rudy, right?”

“Right. [still shell-shocked, trying to shake it off] Anyway, he is done now. A couple more warmups and then it’s my turn. Was there something important you called me about, Vlad?”

“Oh, yeah. I’ve managed to tame the Georgian Dream, Donnie!”

“Georgian what?”

“Georgian Dream, the ruling party in Georgia won the election yesterday! Remember you called me when I was watching the results last night?”

“Ah, yeah, yeah, your Georgia!” [absent-minded]

“Yes, my Georgia! I managed to keep it!”

“Congratulations, Vlad! I’m happy for you.” [unexcited]

“Are you OK, Donnie? You seem a little off after I mentioned defenestration. It was just a joke, I hope you understand.”

“Sure, sure, I understand, Vlad. [pretending to be called]. I have to go now, they are calling for me. Bye, Vlad.” After hanging up, googling “Putin, difini-, defini-, defenestration.”

***

This is a follow up to yesterday’s story: