Calling Moscow - 35

This conversation happened on October 26, 2024, on the day the Republic of Georgia held its parliamentary elections.

“Hello, Vlad?” [urged, upset]

“Yes, Donnie, you are calling me at a bad time.” [agitated]

“Yeah? Well, I’m having a bad time too. Really bad, Vlad.”

“Really? Can it wait?”

“Not really, what are you doing that’s more important than me?”

“Watching Georgia’s election results coming in.”

“Really? Are you that all powerful, Vlad? I knew Georgia already started early voting but I didn’t know they were announcing the results. Only early votes are in, and they are not supposed to tell the results. Not supposed to. This has to be illegal, the election is on November 5.”

“Oh, Donnie, your self-centeredness is astounding.”

“What do you mean?” [sounds insulted]

“I’m not talking about the American state of Georgia, I’m talking about my Georgia.”

“You have your own Georgia???” [incredulous]

“I wish. I mean the Republic of Georgia, in the Caucasus. It used to be a part of the Soviet Union and then became an independent country that strayed away too far. They are having the parliamentary election today that will decide if it stays within my sphere of influence or move closer to the European Union.”

“Oh, I see now. How is it going?”

“That’s what I was watching. I guess too early to tell, still. The final results will be probably announced tomorrow.”

“But how do you feel about it? From what you are watching? I remember watching the results coming in in my own elections, kept me on edge all night. It was so tense, kept me on edge…”

“Yeah, yeah, I remember that too. [impatient] With this one, it’s hard to tell. I have poured a lot of resources into the Georgia and if it doesn’t pay off I am screwed. I need just little over 50 percent of votes for my party, the Georgian Dream. It seems they will be able to get it. Anyway, I guess it can wait. [clicks the remote to turn off the TV] What’s up, Donnie, why are you calling me, so impatient?”

“How could you do this to me, Vlad?”

“Do what?”

“Palling with Elon behind my back!”

“I never…”

“Especially after you were so coy about it, asking me to tell him hello for you, pass your little messages to him…”

“How did you know?..”

“First, I saw it on TV, in media reports. And then I asked Elon and he confirmed. You know he can’t lie, right? Apparently, autistic people of his kind cannot lie…”

“Did he tell you we’d met?”

“No, he told me that you talked on the phone. Just like we do, Vlad.”

“Well, that is not true, Donnie. I talked with him only several times. With you, I talk almost every week.”

“Like this is supposed to make it easier for me, Vlad? What do you even talk about?”

“Space exploration and satellites. We have a lot of interests in common, Donnie.”

“I’m sure you do. But why did you hide this from me?”

“I didn’t hide nothing, Donnie. It just never came up.”

“Yeah, like it never came up when we talked about him? Remember, when you asked me to tell him you wanted to meet in person? Or that he was always welcome to visit Russia?”

“See, that’s different, Donnie. That was about him visiting me in person, not talking on phone.”

“Uhm, sure. So do you have a special secure line for him too? Or you just share the same one that we are using right now?”

“Why does it matter, Donnie?”

“I thought we were in an exclusive relationship, Vlad. I thought we were friends.”

“And we are, Donnie. And if it makes it easier for you, I use another burner phone when I call Elon.”

“You call him first? That’s even worse, Vlad, you almost never call me first!”

“Not true, Donnie. I call you first a lot. With Elon, I just tell my people to place call and they do it for me. It was just a couple of times, Donnie. Would it make it better if we make it a conference call next time, all three of us?”

“I don’t know, Vlad.” [coyly]

“Just think about it, Donnie. Sorry, I have to go now, seems they are about to announce the Georgian election results. Talk to you later, bye.”

“Bye, Vlad.” After hanging up, “I don’t know if I’m ready for a three-way call. Sounds like a bad threesome to me…”