Calling Moscow - 26

This conversation happened on June 19, 2024 as Putin was wrapping up his visit to North Korea and his dear friend Kim III.

“Hello, Vlad?”

“Yes, Donnie, I can’t talk right now. Busy.”

“Even for me???”

“Yes.” [hung up]

*****

One hour later

“Hello, Vlad, can you talk now?”

“No, Donnie, I can’t. We are right in the middle of negotiations.”

“With our friend Kim?”

“Of course, who else?”

“Please tell him I said hello.”

Putin, to Kim III across the table, “Donald says hello.”

Kim smiles back and says, “Same to him.”

Putin to Trump, “he says hello back. Bye, Donnie.” [hangs up]

Kim to Putin, “Trump?”

“Yes.”

“He behaves like a fawning schoolgirl around us, doesn’t he?”

“He does, it’s like he wants to be us but can’t.” [both chuckle] “But back to the ammunition I need for Ukraine…”

*****

Two hours later

“Hello, Vlad, are you still negotiating?”

“Always.” [both chuckle]

“I love that movie!”*

“Me too, Donnie, me too. I wish people really knew how much truth is in that movie.”

“Yeah… So should I call you back later?”

“No, it’s OK, I can talk now but not for too long. Kim has some surprise for me like in fifteen minutes, as he told me.”

“Ooooh, Kim’s surprise! I wonder what it is. A lavish party, maybe?”

“With Kim, it’s never just a party, Donnie. It always is some massive spectacle, with a lot of people involved, all perfectly synchronized with each other. And so much more…”

“I can only imagine, Vlad…” [dreamily] “You know, I’ve never had a party with Kim.”

“Get elected and we’ll make sure to meet there, Donnie, just the three of us.”

“Really??? Can we really do that?”

“Of course, Donnie.”

“Last time when I was there, my protocol service and security let me only step over the border line. Can you imagine, Vlad, just over the border! I’ve never had a party with Kim, just met him briefly.”

“I’m telling you, Donnie, when you are president again we can have a party with Kim, just for you.”

“I’m not sure my generals, protocol and security will let me do that.”

“Get better people working for you, Donnie. The ones who will do everything you say.”

“Working on it, Vlad, OK. I think I have a pretty good team already. They designed Project 2025 which sends all Democrats into a panic feat. Great project, the best!”

“Good, Donnie, good, keep it up. I’m always here to help if you need me, just don’t ask for more money.” [chuckles]

“So, what have you been doing with Kim these two days, without me? Having fun?”

“Oh, so much fun, Donnie, you can’t even imagine. We work hard and we play even harder.”

“Oh, yeah? Like, what kind of fun?”

“Am I hearing the notes of jealousy in your voice, Donnie?”

“Maybe, just a little bit.” [pouts] “I hate it when you guys have fun without me. But anyway, what kind of fun?”

“Well, yesterday, for example, he took me to the Russian bath in the evening and we had a great party there: excellent food, drinks, and girls.”

“He has a Russian bath?”

“Of course, he loves it, I think his grandfather got them all into the habit of loving a good steamy Russian bath with great food, drinks, and girls.”

“Uhm, uhmm, I don’t drink, so I’m not into that kind of fun. Not my kind of fun, drinking. What else did you do?”

“Well, he also threw a huge concert for me, and took me around the city. So many people came out to greet us, Donnie, I was impressed, it was like a sea of people with flowers and Russian and Korean flags.”

“Oh, that’s nice. I love adoring cheering crowds…”

“Don’t we all, Donnie, don’t we all. Oh, I have to go now, for the final press-conference and whatever else Kim has prepared for me.”

“Oh, OK, please send him my best wishes again.”

“I will, Donnie, bye.”

“Bye, Vlad.” After hanging up, “Oh, I so wish I could be there with them.”

*NOTE: This is a reference to the 1997 Devil's Advocate movie.