A Moment (or 2) that Changed a World

The woman could not stop feeling like vomiting, but there was no fever. Her other kids had been sick, so maybe she finally caught whatever they had been ill with after all. She sighed after another meal was expelled into the toilet. She had things to deal with and obligations to handle. She could not afford to be sick.

Then there were the emotions. So many emotions. But, she had been dumped a week prior to this moment so she supposed that it would only make sense that she would still be emotional. Even though that really didn't make sense either as she had no reason to be sad: she had just been a fun time after all and he was simply not interested in even a friendship. It was the friendship ending that hurt the most. She had figured that he would be leaving the city as he didn't like the hustle and bustle, but... he had told her that he always was friends first. It was the only reason that her other kids knew him well enough to still be crying that they missed him.

Honestly, the only emotion that he had access to was anger. And even that was mostly turned inward on herself for believing and trusting yet another man to be around her children. It was fine though. She was handling life and meeting other people. She had plans and the next 6 months were going to be awesome! He had helped her realize exactly what she wanted out of life and now she knew what she was looking for. Some times people come into our lives just for a season, right? And eventually the urge to growl at any person who was friendly towards her children would die down again, right?

Something told her that it was more than just a stomach bug though. Sighing once more, she grabbed the pregnancy test out of the bag of stuff she got from the drug store. She felt completely ridiculous because she had been on birth control and she just had her period. It had been really light and abnormal, but again, she was on birth control and that was a side effect of it. She could not be pregnant. This was just her emotions getting to her and was a waste of money and time.

A baby was not on the table as far as her plans went. She already had enough chaos in her life and had plans for her career. There was no time for a baby. She had decided that she was pretty much certain that she was done having kids.

She glared at the timer. 3 minutes seems like such a long time. She rolled her eyes. The lengths that she would go to in order to convince her sick brain that she was, in fact, simply ill with a horrible stomach bug. She was wasting time that should be spent responding to the work emails she needed to respond to.

The sound of the beeping timer yanked her back to reality. She grabbed the test and then checked the package's instructions. She had to have messed up a step! She grabbed the second test and retested. 3 more minutes felt like an eternity.

This was not happening.

This could not be happening.

She needed to wake up from this nightmare. She felt herself start to panic. No, the test was wrong. The second one would show that it was wrong here in 30 seconds...

Her plans all shattered as the timer's beeping only alerted her to the fact that there were now 2 positive pregnancy tests sitting side by side.

What was she going to do? She was supposed to be the woman who had everything planned out. She hadn't even been surprised that he left her... the only surprise was that the man who said friends first, no matter what on every relationship he'd had where he didn't totally despise the ex had said that he was not even her friend - without giving her a single reason why he despised her.

This. Can. Not. Be. Happening.

She wanted to drink the whole bottle of white wine she had brought home for a gift for the friend's birthday party that she was supposed to attend tomorrow. But, she couldn't do it. Even though this ... fetus ... was not supposed to be here, she couldn't hurt it.

What the hell was she going to do?

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A couple of weeks later and it was time to tell her ex.

He didn't want it. It upended his whole world too. Sort of. He got to walk away, but she couldn't just walk away from this.

It was hers. All hers. He just got to know that somewhere out there was going to be a creature with his DNA.

She was relieved with his honesty and ability to know exactly what he wanted and although disappointed that he hadn't been clear from the start, she was glad that she would not have to worry about the stress surrounding sharing children in two separate homes.

Yet, she cried for the child she was carrying.

Cried because she knew that she would tell the babe that he had been a good man that loved it enough to walk away without looking back because sometimes we protect those we love from ourselves.

She cried because she would tell the child that he was a good guy despite her anger. She cried because she would tell the child about the good times and the good things about the babe's paternal figure.

But, cried because ... family was a core value of hers and she could not believe that she had been so blind to the truth shown in the ease he said that he didn't want it.

He said to tell it whatever about him. So she would do exactly that.

She would tell it that he was ambitious. She would tell it that he knew what he wanted and did his best to get it.

She would tell it that he was fully prepared for it to want to find him for answers when it was plenty old enough to.

She would do what she always did: put the interests and wellbeing of her child before her own opinion of a male who could walk out without saying goodbye to any children that he had claimed to love and care about.

So, until the child would be old enough to hear and understand the details, the child would know the good things that she had seen in the human being who was no longer in her life and now had no access to even anger.

Anger would only do harm to the bond with the life growing within her.

At least, he never asked her to get rid of it. Abortion was an option she had thought of, but... she felt too protective of the fetus within her womb. It was not at fault for their obviously careless actions.

And she already loved it. It should not be punished for her lapse in judgment. Her baby would never know that it was not wanted by one of it's parents until she couldn't protect it from the coldness of the world any more.

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A quick note from the author: These were the simple moments that changed several people's lives. Split moments that changed the trajectory of the woman's life, the facts in the man's history, the life of the woman's other children, and the life of the woman's friends and extended family. In some ways, this would appear to only affect a few people, but when you realize that every choice has a ripple effect, eventually these small choices add up to be a major impact on the world around them. Remember that even the tiny things can impact so many lives around you and respect the power that every decision has on so many - even if it is not obvious in the moment! You are enough to make a change all by yourself! *smile*