When the Solution Is Not to Solve

Every problem has a solution.

There’s always a solution.

You must find it, no matter the cost.

If you don’t find the solution, you’re a sore loser.

This is how we’ve learned to deal with life. These phrases keep echoing in our heads whenever we face a problem, pushing us to find solutions as if it’s a matter of life or death.

Even when it’s beyond our control and there’s nothing we can do, we still blame ourselves, thinking the problem is ours and that we’re at fault for not finding a solution. That’s why we end up pushing ourselves so hard, desperately trying to avoid feelings of guilt or failure.

However, often, these relentless efforts are the very reason we fail. Sometimes, they even make our problems worse, complicating things more.

The more effort you put in, the more complicated things become.

But here’s the important question: does every problem really need the urgency of an immediate solution?

The problem with the solution is often how we think about it. We’ve always believed that a solution removes suffering, feelings, thoughts, or anything we wish to get rid of.

But what if the real solution isn’t about getting rid of anything? What if the solution we didn’t expect, or one that felt like a loss at first, turns out to be the best one for us?

What if, at that time, it felt like defeat, but when you look back, you realize it was exactly what you needed?

Above all, what if some problems are best solved by not solving them at all?

This is why we need to rethink how we look at solutions:

Some solutions lie in acceptance, not in finding a solution. We need to understand the importance of stopping resistance, letting go of the constant search for solutions, and simply accepting things as they are. Sometimes, the solution lies in flexibility—adapting to the situation—rather than attempting to change everything.

Some solutions lie in acceptance, not in elimination. We must learn how to deal with negative thoughts and emotions without forcing ourselves to get rid of them. In many cases, the pressure to find a solution prevents us from dealing with our emotions peacefully. Accepting what happens around us and what we’re going through—without forcing change—can bring a sense of inner calm.

Some solutions lie within the problem itself. We need to realize that part of the solution comes from how we view the problem. Perhaps the problem isn’t the problem itself, but the way we perceive it. By reinterpreting the problem and understanding it calmly, without exaggerating our feelings, and changing the lens through which we view it, we can often make it seem less complicated and more solvable.

Some problems are solved over time. No matter how hard you try, you might not find a solution right away. Some solutions simply require time.

Our desperate need to control the outcome often leads us to fight for these solutions without realizing it. We need to understand that letting go of the desire to control everything can be a solution in itself. Sometimes, immediate intervention isn’t necessary. Instead, we should stop over-interfering and allow things to unfold naturally.

No matter how much you think or try, some problems just won’t have a solution, since the goal isn’t even to solve anything; the real solution lies in embracing the situation as it is.

In other cases, you won’t find a solution—because it will come to you—not because it’s from you, but because it’s meant for you.

This shift in perspective, when I say, “Sometimes the solution to a problem is not solving it,” means that instead of seeing the problem as an enemy to defeat, we can look at it as an experience to accept or learn from.

Inner peace may be more valuable than achieving a quick victory, and letting go of the need to solve everything may be the true solution.