What is the nature of anxiety?

The essence of anxiety is resistance to reality.

The essence of anxiety is fear of the future.

The essence of anxiety is not living in the moment.

The essence of anxiety is distrust of oneself and the world.

The essence of anxiety is our fear of screwing up our lives.

The world seems to us like an abyss,

We stare at it and it stares back at us.

1. Recognize and embrace present anxiety as fear of the future. Your people are here, but your heart is not. They don't overlap. And then there's "cognitive dissonance." The future is an illusion. The present is all we have. You wanted a big house, and now you're anxious if you don't. You want a better income, and you're anxious if you don't have one. You want a lover, and now you don't have one. You want to be thin, and now you're anxious if you're not. These things will happen in the future, but the fact is that they don't. Only by accepting this reality can you live in the present. In order to fully experience the present happiness and happiness, in order to better realize the future. 2. Eliminate the source of self-denial. I have a case study. Let's call her Miss J. Since 2016, Miss J has been unable to find a job that she can continue to do. She habitually escapes and often changes jobs, losing confidence and courage. Even if you like the work, after a period of time, or will become dislike. Exclusion of learning and socializing. This is classic learned helplessness. The first question I asked her was, "Did your parents criticize you a lot as a child?" Ms. J replied, "Not really," but then added, "I never encouraged her. I was always negative in front of people, saying she couldn't do anything right, and her parents weren't good communicators." It's as simple as that. There are many other topics, but this is the only key issue. At the time of our character formation, our parents' negation of us, lack of emotional expression, let us have a deep rejection of ourselves. We will always doubt ourselves, criticize ourselves and attack ourselves subconsciously. This is one of many situations that can lead to self-denial. There are many other conditions, and each person has a different root cause, and often there is more than one cause. The result: we feel that we are not good enough to be loved. So the world can make us feel deep fear, a little frustration, we will back down. Always in the midst of anxiety, you rarely know what it feels like to be calm and relaxed. 3. The most important thing to reconcile with yourself is not to make yourself better, but to find out why you are bad. It is like running with shackles and shackles, like adding water to a leaky pool. It is in vain. You are exhausted and powerless, and no effort will work. When you find the root of your problems, remove the shackles, plug the holes, you will find that you could have run fast, you are light, you are perfect. You are good enough as you are. We need to "return" to our better selves, not "become" better selves. By knowing the source of our inacceptance of ourselves, we can choose to make peace with ourselves. Accept and love yourself unconditionally. (Of course, it's not that easy. If you need help, please contact me.) But we are often unwilling to make peace with ourselves. Even if our parents don't compare us to someone else's child. We still can't stop and compare ourselves. We still want to win. 4. Stop Comparing We know no other way to live than by comparing. Because human pups are often raised by mistake. In school to compare with others, out of society to compare with others income, status, package, than everything...... But what if you win? Satisfied for a short time, will enter the next round of comparison, never end. There will always be someone better than you, and you will never be the best person in the world. If you lose, you lose. If you win, you lose. Even if you win, are you doing something you love? Are you living the life you love? Each of us is like a white mouse running on a wheel, always forcing themselves to run hard, always in the pursuit of better and more. But we can never achieve "better", just like we can never live in tomorrow. We are pursuing an impossible goal. No matter what kind of class you live in and what kind of achievements you have, as long as you are comparing, you will not be satisfied with your current situation, and you will also worry about your unrealized future. Unless you stop this endless loop. Unless you begin to realize that "comparison" is a trap that humans set for themselves.