Universe

The last few years have been tough and not sure where it all went wrong. Family, friends, past relationships or even your career. But 2020 brought those feelings into perspective. They say people that have been struggling for the last few years, it could have been because of the astrology. How the stars and moons had been aligned. For those who believe in spiritually, this is our time to have a fresh start. To believe in ourselves again. To be one with the universe. To forgive our mistakes and grow from them.

When you were young you wonder where everything went wrong. Did you try too hard to change to make them happy. Where they right when they said you took everything from them. Did you really ruin their lives or is it really all in their heads or yours? You know at the time you left for your own safety, but their words just kept following you for years to come. Which brought you down the rabbit hole. Almost ruined your career because of a misunderstood joke or conversation. (Were you set-up, until this day you will never know the truth).

As time went on you noticed more people are not at your side and you have lost more relationships because you brought your trauma with you. You were told that your depression did not matter, only theirs did and if you were not there for them, you were in trouble. So, you did things on purpose to make sure it was worth being in trouble for. Until, one day you realize they were gone too. All energy from them to you was drained.

You start to feel like the monster people were portraying you as and you did not know how to turn it around. You did not know how to escape the feeling or pressure. You did not know if you could fix all the wrong turns you had taken. When you thought you were making the right decision, or you were on the right track something else would happen and you would feel that you just took twenty steps back. You thought going forward was never going to come ahead.

2020 was hard at the beginning because everything came to a dead stop and feelings came creeping in. The ones you were holding onto because you felt you were alone, and no one cared. There were no distractions and nowhere to go. Only your headspace and you could not run away from everything that you had been hiding for the last 30 years. It was time for you and yourself to discussion on what you been hiding, but it was a rush of emotions and uncontrollable reactions to all feelings. People did not recognize you anymore and they worried.

You became so isolated because you thought it was easier, instead of burdening anyone with your problems (but not like you can see anyone anyways).

What do you do when you feel like you have nothing left? You reevaluate what has happened in the last few years or your entire life. Try and figure out what has gone wrong and fit those puzzles pieces together. Do a little research and see what can help you to move forward. Heal the trauma you endured in a lifetime. It is not time to stop, this is the time to keep going because this is only the beginning of a lifetime and there is so much more to explore.

So, benefit to 2020 is knowing that you had to deal with the emotions and now working through them and knowing that it is okay to have feelings. 2021 is now to love yourself and rebuild. Knowing that the universe has not left you and you are not alone, you never alone because you still have yourself. 2020 was to let you know something was wrong. 2021 is to let you flourish and let the world reset itself.