Take notes. Make cuts.

I told myself I wasn’t going to, and for a second, I managed to replace the tears with a half hearted chuckle.

“It’s just how he is, it’s probably my fault, things are always alright the next day...”

“she’s just like that around her friends, she’s my best friend, I know she didn’t mean what she said last night, we were all drinking...”

“...I know. It’s toxic, but we don’t pick our families, gotta love em!”

Is it? Is that just how he is? Is it better the next day?

Is it just when she’s drunk? Now that you’re thinking about it...the other day at brunch, she said...

Gotta love em?

No.

No.

No.

James Arthur, bless your creative abilities...

“I’m such a sucker for a smooth talker, [but] why are you always waging war?”

Don’t. Settle. For. A. Homicide. Love.

I don’t know what I’ve been waiting for, to be honest. I look back on my 27 years, and I see strength, so much strength. But now I’m being played by it, and I’m at war with myself. So here’s where 2020 became my best friend. It was thought at first, but I made myself scarce in 2020, and I mean, very few social media appearances, took down all my selfies and fitness pictures to eliminate the thirst-trap aspect of why people gravitated towards me. It was faith, family, community, that’s all the world was seeing of me.

Boy, do you find out people’s true social motives in your life! And at the risk of sounding too cynical, I couldn’t be more content with my findings.

I’ve always been the friend who people go to for advice...anyone else? Yeah, you know what I’m talking about, the been through most, can handle the most, so gets vented to the most? Show of hands.

I wore that title like a badge of honor, but had no idea the emotional tax I was paying! I was so busy trying to be the fixer, I never slowed down enough to assess the personal cost, all I knew is I was strong enough to handle my stuff, and everyone else’s.

But, why?

Would they do the same?

So I challenged myself, 2021...stop paying an emotional tax on people that wouldn’t do the same for me.

Take notes of their behavior patterns...Make cuts. You owe yourself the peace.