humanity
Mental health is a fundamental right; the future of humanity depends on it.
The Terrible Misadventures of the Clinically Depressed
This first entry is an attempt to give a sort of baseline for what my depression looks like. In my 29 years I’ve been given many opportunities to describe my depression, and it still isn’t quite right or it still doesn’t quite capture what it's like but I’m going to try. Through stories and thoughts, but first I want to try to describe it with these words. What my depression feels like:
By Amariah Brown4 years ago in Psyche
Psychiatrists are finding links between infections and mental health. They're unexpected.
When the Covid-19 pandemic hit, probably the greatest inquiry was: Why do certain individuals get such a ton more ailing than others? It's an inquiry that has constrained specialists to go up against some profound secrets of the human body, and reach resolutions that have surprised them.
By dewon crazy4 years ago in Psyche
The Day My Life Changed
As I sat on the edge of the examination table waiting on the doctor to come into the room my mom tells me she is making my favorite tonight, beef stroganoff. I can’t tell whether she is making small talk because she is scared the doctor will give me bad news or if she is so certain there is nothing wrong with me that she is going about like it is a normal day. The walls are chock full of anatomical pictures of the skeletal system and muscle anatomy. Posters urging patients to “Wash your hands for at least 30 seconds” and “Cover your mouth when you cough”. But the one poster I cannot stop looking at and rereading is the one with the kitten hanging from a rope with the caption “Hang in there”. The image searing into my brain and message repeating in my mind. Hang in there is meant to inspire as the opposite, fall apart, is discouraging. Be strong not weak is the message being portrayed. To me it seemed like an instruction. So, I swallowed my fear, pushed back my emotions trying to leak out of my eyes, squared my shoulders, and lifted my chin a little higher as the doctor came into the room.
By Kristin Young4 years ago in Psyche
Love and Mortality
We are all subject to mortality, like it or not every single one of us has this fate in common regardless of age/race/gender etc. Unfortunately not all organic beings are created equal, as some suffer from various illnesses or tragedies sooner or more frequently than others. Call it destiny, karma, whatever you like, but life happens to very much be a game of chance. Theoretically there are things you can do/not do to prolong your life and give you a better chance of survival, but every one of us has the chance of drawing the death card on any given day. I have struggled with the concept of mortality for many years, even more so since 2020 as the mostly ignored intrusive thoughts only become larger and more demanding in my mind.
By Maxie Atreides4 years ago in Psyche
Functioning Through Alcoholism in Parenthood
“After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.” — Oscar Wilde, on absinthe
By Shannon Moose4 years ago in Psyche
I am not a victim
I am not a victim. Read that again and say it out loud. I am NOT a victim! If you’re like me you hesitated before you said it, if you even said it at all. The truth is there is a coward within me, that prior to saying those words, wants to argue the facts. But I’ve been abused. Ive been rejected. Ive been abandoned. The list gets longer. I have been beaten up. I have been damaged. I have been raped. As the minutes pass you will convince yourself that, no, I am a victim. This guy doesn’t understand all I’ve been through. He cannot comprehend the depth of the pain I’ve endured. And each time we convince ourselves, of that horrible lie, that we in fact are a victim, we become the victim again. And again. And again. Ask yourself this question. If you are the victim, then who is the victor? Every time we speak that lie or think that lie or convince ourselves that we are the victim, we essentially stand and clap for the bully, the abuser, the rapist, the thief. You see, nothing enables or empowers a bully or an abuser more than knowing that their abuse has had a lasting negative influence on your life. It’s in their nature. To be relevant, to be acknowledged, even if it’s in a negative light. Like the high school kid who adds notches on his belt to memorialize each sexual conquest, an abusive person wants to remain memorialized in your life. They want you to have trust issues. They want you to be afraid to love and to not feel worthy of love. They want you to be afraid of the dark or get anxiety from a text or call from them. They narcissistically lust the idea of never being ignored or forgotten. They want you to feel damaged and think that no one could love you. They want you to remain their victim for the rest of your life. And of course, you will. Unless you change your mind. Unless you change your thinking. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THEIR VICTIM! But there is something the bully doesn’t like. Something that the bully fears immensely. Something that the abuser never wants to see. They never want to see one of their victims get up from the dirt, dust themselves off, and keep fighting. Nothing makes a bully more afraid and nothing can suck all the heart out of their chest like a “victim” who doesn’t just lie down and comply and die. I am not a victim. Everything that conspired to destroy me did not succeed in destroying me but succeeded in giving me a more focused purpose. It succeeded in revealing the victor inside of me. It succeeded in making me stronger and wiser and more empathetic and less afraid, because now I know, I conquered it once, and I will conquer it again. So thank you to all the abusers and bullies and cheaters and control freaks and liars and manipulators and narcissists who beat me down, rejected me, abandoned me, brutalized me and tried to destroy any good I had in me or believed about myself. Thank you, Because you brought out the beast in me. You showed me that I can get through this and you helped me see that there is no quit in me. My daddy left me when I was little, but I am not a victim. I was physically and sexually abused, but I am not a victim. I was served divorce papers on my anniversary and had my kids taken away from me but I am not a victim. I was gossiped about and slandered and lies were spread about me but I am not victim! I am not a victim! I am not a victim! I am a victor. I am an even more empathetic warrior. I AM NOT A VICTIM. You have no more control over me or how I think. I am done enabling you and empowering you to keep me down, hold me back and locked inside your prison of fear and anxiety and shame. I am not a victim, I am a CHAMPION, and this dark, cold world will feel the wrath of my warm laughter and fear my smile and run from my love and trust and hope. So thank you, to all you cowards, you narcissists, you abusers and bullies. Because of you, I am so much stronger than I ever was before. You beat me down, you ground me to ashes. But here I am roaring in the face of all your adversity. I am not your victim, I am a Champion! So who are you?
By Michael Nash4 years ago in Psyche
